Resolution (Saviour #2)(104)
I get up and wander out to the family room; I stand and lean against the wall as I look at the site that is Gabe lying on the sofa. His long frame covers one whole end, he’s lying on his back, one arm bent and tucked under the back of his head, his other arm out straight, holding the remote as he points it at the telly and flicks through the channels, I get this tingling in my belly as I watch him, it’s like a mild electrical current or how it must feel to be a piece of metal when there is a magnet around. That’s how it feels, like little fingers of sensation, reaching out for him, he’s the magnet and I’m as useless as a paper clip at trying to resist his pull I watch as he smiles that sexy arsed lazy smile of his as he says. “See something ya like?”
“Fuck yeah.”
He turns his head and looks at me and I’m pretty sure I sigh out loud. He is hot.
“You… Need… To… Stop…Swearing.”
“What?”
“You Lauren, you need to stop swearing so much, the babies will be saying f*ck as their first word if they listen too much to you.”
I actually feel a little offended. Why does everyone keep giving me advice on parenting, they obviously all feel like I’m not that good at it, despite having done it twice before.
“Fuck you.” I say to Gabe as I put my empty cup on the drainer and go to fill the kettle to make another cup of tea.
“And such an adult too.” I pick the cup up and throw it, it skims past his head and smashes on the wall above. “What the f*ck Lauren? What is wrong with you?”
“What is wrong with me? Will you stop, please, telling me what to do around these babies, stop with the top twenty tips from Practical Parenting? I know what I’m doing, I’ve raised two beautiful, well-adjusted boys, I’ve brought them up to be loving, caring, well-mannered men.” I start to sob as I speak, I feel entirely useless as a wife and as a mother right now and Gabe’s little digs are really not what I need to be constantly hearing. “I’m not a bad mother.” I finally get out.
He’s up, off the sofa and has me wrapped in his arms in seconds. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry, I was joking, I was just joking with you.” He picks me up in his arms and carries me back to the sofa and sits me in his lap. “You’re boys are credits to you, especially in light of today’s events. You are an exceptional Mum and I couldn’t choose anyone better to be the mother of my children. Please believe me, your boys, these babies and Ava are all so lucky to have you, please Lauren, it was a joke that is all. If all this bullshit hadn’t have gone on this morning with Jason, you would have thrown more than just a cup at me. And I would have deserved it, I’m sorry; it was thoughtless of me, but don’t let the actions of that prick, make you doubt your abilities as a mother Lauren, don’t let him doubt your ability to achieve anything in this life. You’ve come so far these past few months, don’t let his life choices impact on ours now. You heard what Ryder said, you’re the best Mum. Fucking hell, we don’t employ idiots Lauren, he’s a smart boy and no doubt Sonny is the same.”
I wipe my tears and my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie. “Shit, I have to ring Sonny now and ruin his day too.”
I leave Gabe to clear up the mess I made with the cup and go and call my eldest child. I cry myself back to sleep after wards, thinking that today will be marked off as one of the shittiest of my life.
CHAPTER 29
The next few days are spent dealing with solicitors and accountants from both businesses; because Jason has been sectioned, power of attorney is switched to me. I don’t want to sell his company out from under him. Especially not to Gabe’s families firm but if I don’t, there probably will be nothing left to save within a matter of weeks so by Wednesday it’s a done deal. I have left all of this to the boys to deal with and have just concentrated on getting the Palmers place finished. I will be handing everything over to them on Thursday, then on Friday I am booked into the hospital at ten to have the CVS testing done, I am absolutely terrified of what they might find and this has helped in some part keep my mind off the fact the procedure, may well be painful.
Gabe has been an absolute rock where Jason has been concerned and as soon as the psych unit are prepared to release him, he has booked him into a hospital in East Malvern for a twenty eight day rehab program, he has liaised with the police, who have said they would be happy for Jason to complete the course before they bring charges against him. Obviously they would prefer a non-addicted prisoner on their hands than an addicted one; we have been advised that Jason has asked to see me but for one, at the moment he’s not allowed any visitors and for another, Gabe has completely forbidden it. I will see him at some stage, rightly or wrongly, I want to help him through this, I want to support him but I will be up front and honest with Gabe about it and make sure I don’t put myself in danger in any way, he will no doubt crack it big time. Despite everything, I still feel it’s the right thing to do, Jason is after all, my boys Dad and has been a part of my life, it’s just not in me to abandon him, I feel responsible, but very little else.
Gabe takes Thursday morning off to come with me up to Redhill, he’s never seen my work in person and I feel more nervous showing him around than I do about showing the Palmers the finished job. We arrive at around ten, which gives me an hour before Karen and Steve are due to arrive, I don’t want Gabe here when they are, I know it’s petty but I don’t want him and Karen in the same state, let alone the same house. I walk him through without saying too much, just watching his reactions to each room, despite all of the distractions I’ve had during this job, I personally feel it’s one of my best yet. It’s a sunny but cold day as we go out onto the balcony and look down at the newly landscaped pool area and the new pool house which Gabe’s team are responsible for.