Resolution (Saviour #2)(7)
“I can't be here for this, I'm gonna go get us all a drink. Please watch my baby. He's as precious to me as he is to all of you. Even if he is a complete dickhead sometimes.”
The girls are all sitting or standing around the kitchen bench. They are deep in conversation, until they see me and it suddenly goes quiet.
“Don't mind me. Keep talking, please.”
Jo passes me a glass of wine.
“Sit down and shut the f*ck up. What's happening in there? You okay?”
I take the wine and walk straight into her open arms allowing her to give me the biggest cuddle, I cuddle her back. Without putting down my wine, and surprisingly, without shedding any tears. I let out a big sigh.
“Christ Lauren. You must be exhausted from all this drama. The girls have been giving me all the deets about the 'Evil Stepmother' and what happened over the weekend. Gotta say, I'm disappointed darl. You really should have beat the bitch.”
“Oh don’t worry. She beat her with words, Jackie’s face was a picture,” Jen remarks.
I manage a very weak smile as Jo looks at me. My brain is far too exhausted to think of a witty reply; instead I kiss her cheek and tell her that I love her. I look at Sam and Jen.
“I'm sorry about all of that; you two know more than me how much Gabe loves his brothers. It's just the piss talking, but I am sorry anyway.”
They both look tearful. Making me feel terrible. Sam comes around the bench, giving me a cuddle.
“What's happening in there?”
She asks, nodding her head towards the bedroom.
“Well Gabe’s out cold and I think the boys are about to tell Stella about her brothers past relationship with Cruella. How do you think she will handle that?”
Jens hand covers her mouth as she shakes her head, Sam finishes her glass of wine and lets out a big sigh.
“Stell will be okay. Pissed off but she can handle it. Those boys treat her like a princess but I think she's harder than all of them. She never knew her Mum, I think that has got to have had an effect on her, growing up with just her brothers, Charlie wasn’t there for her much, not once he met Jackie, and she certainly was never there for her. Jen and I have had more input in raising that girl, she has never liked Jackie. Not from day dot. The only thing I am worried about is that she might go straight to Charlie's and rip Jackie’s head off her shoulders. She is very protective of her Dad and even more so of Gabe, I think she has known for a long while that something bad happened to hurt him and make him the way he has always been with women but I think she just assumed it was because of their Mum dying. She'll be right, you wait and see.”
We move outside for a cigarette and talk amongst ourselves about the days, weekends, weeks and past months events and even though it is me that it has all happened to. I still can’t believe it all to be true. My life has turned into Eastenders, Real Housewives of wherever and Revenge all rolled into one, as Sam said, you couldn’t make this shit up.
The boys come out of the bedroom first, looking tired and teary. A lone tear instantly rolls down my cheek as I think about how I felt when I first found out about what Jackie had done to Gabe. They each go straight into the arms of their waiting wives and I feel an instant pang of jealousy and loneliness. I've missed Gabe today and can't wait to slide into bed with him. After I've punched his f*cking lights out that is. I could kill him for what he has said and done today, but then we have both been guilty of saying things we didn’t mean. Love, it brings out the best and the very worst in people, and Gabe, he brings out feelings that I never knew I had in me. I’m a grown woman, I have raised two children, run a home and a successful business and yet around him, around Gabe, I turn into one of those teenage girls you see on telly who cry and go to pieces when they meet their idols, I ache for him when he’s not around. Everywhere, even right now, despite all the drama, I want nothing more than to feel him inside me. Is this normal, is this how it should always have been and I’ve been missing out or do I really need to get a grip on reality. After all, he is not my idol, he is my equal and despite me saying some spiteful things. Tonight he f*cked up royally and I need to process that and decide how we move on.
Stella joins us outside; there are yet more tears and cuddles.
When she follows me back into the bedroom and sits on the side of the bed, I hold her hand and just ask if she's okay. I don’t really know what else I can say and I’m fairly drained of emotion right now.
“Not really, but if he can deal with it, then so will I, for his sake, but I am going to make sure that bitch knows I know, if it weren't for my Dad I would f*cking kill her. I don't know how you didn't lose your shit on Saturday Loz, I really don't. Who does that? He was a child.”
I smile as she says my abbreviated name so easily, as if we have been friends for ever.
“It’s wrong Stell. Very wrong, the worse kind of betrayal, but like you say, there's Charlie to consider. Don't do anything silly Stell, Gabe wouldn't want that.”
“Yeah, I know, and I would never hurt my Dad anyway or him.”
She motions her head towards Gabe and kisses his hair, then my cheek. Gabe fidgets and Mumbles something about angels and wings and we both smile down at him.
Just after midnight, everyone finally leaves. I thank them all and arrange for Stella and Sam to join Jo, myself and the rest of the girls on our night out Friday. Jen has a singing gig at a local winery and can’t make it but Sam and Stella are up for it. Which will make things even more interesting than usual I think.