Resolution (Saviour #2)(68)
“Alrighty…You can sit up Lauren, Michelle, would you get Gabriel a seat please.”
Oh shit, this is going to be bad, Gabe is squeezing my hand tightly with both hands and leans in towards me as I sit up and he sits down, his closeness calms me down just a little bit and it strikes me, just how much I need him right now.
“Well, Lauren, Gabe. You are most definitely pregnant, I would say around seven to eight weeks.” I let out a sob and cover my mouth with my plastered left hand. Seven to eight weeks, that’s perfect, so, so perfect; anything else he has to tell me I can handle.
“And I am absolutely 100% sure that you are expecting twins, congratulations!”
Except that, anything accept that there that he just said, those words I cannot accept those. What. The. Fucking. Fuck? Gabe makes a noise a bit like ‘Huuummm’.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“Yep, I can show you both the heart beats, they look very tiny on the screen right now but there are most definitely two there.”
“What about the dates, are you sure about the dates?”
“These machines are state of the art Lauren, they may be one or two weeks out, especially with twins, as they tend to be smaller but I’m pretty happy with those dates, we will know more after the next scan but I would say you are looking at a delivery date of around June next year.”
I’m having twins, but on the upside, they’re Gabe’s twins, did I mention that I’m forty-five and pregnant, with twins no less. The doctor goes through the procedure again and we watch the two tiny little dots on the screen as they thrum with life. Gabe kisses me again as he laughs, I cry.
“Twins Lauren, we’re having twins are they boys doc? Can you tell yet?”
The doctor laughs. “No, I can’t tell you yet, not till about twelve weeks but I am pretty sure they are not identical so you may get lucky and have one of each.”
The nurse, doctor and radiologist give us their congratulations and leave us alone, I put my undies back on and we go back out to the reception area; Gabe settles the balance of the invoice that the insurance doesn’t cover and we walk back out into the sunshine. We are barely out of the building when Gabe wraps me in his arms and kisses me.
“Twins Lauren, we are having twins.”
“Yes Gabe, I was there, I heard it too.” I can’t help but smile, he’s ecstatic.
“Why aren’t you happy?”
“I don’t know what I am right now Gabe, I’m shocked, there’s still a lot to consider, my age is going to throw up a lot of problems, added to that I still have a coil in place, add to that the complications that can go with having twins, there’s just so much to take in, so much that could go wrong. I’m scared Gabe, I’m terrified.”
I look up into his face, his smiling, handsome face and allow myself a moment of happiness. “It will all be fine, I just know it. I love you Lauren, so much and to think, I could have lost you and them and Ava, oh my god, Ava is going to be, shit, how do you think Ava will take this?”
He kisses me deeply without giving me a chance to answer and I can feel the stares of people walking in and out of the hospital and I really don’t care, I’m pregnant, with Gabe’s babies, not one but two, I’m having twins and until we are told different, we will assume they are healthy and enjoy this time. We head off to Harba, our favourite place to lunch and we celebrate and discuss our news and our ten week anniversary, ten weeks that have rocked our worlds.
It’s late afternoon by the time we pull the car into the drive and despite the in depth conversations we have had over our extended lunch regarding my pregnancy, my head is still swimming, to say I’m overwhelmed is an understatement, I feel on the verge of an anxiety attack all of a sudden and can’t get out of the car quick enough, I need air.
“Let’s have a walk along the beach.” I suggest to Gabe as he climbs out of his side of the car, he’s looking at me with a frown.
“I wanted to go in and get naked; I need some skin on skin time with you baby.”
He comes around to my side of the car, wraps me in his arms and grinds his hips into me. “I need a walk Gabe, my head is spinning, I really need to try and calm myself down.”
I wrap my arms around his neck as he bends his knees so that we are eye to eye. “What are you worrying about now woman? You are going to make yourself ill, I thought we just spent the last two hours talking about all of this?”
His eyes wander all over my face, god, I hope our children are as beautiful as he is. Our children, we are going to have two children together, two babies, twins, we are having twins, and did I mention I’m forty-five?
He cups my face with his big strong hands and gently brushes his thumbs over my cheekbones. “Tell me Lauren, I can hear that overthinking brain of yours whirring from here, tell me what’s worrying you now.”
“Let’s walk and talk.”
He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head, then leads me by the hand and across the road to the beach. We spend the next ten minutes in total silence, walking with our shoes off, the icy cold water of Port Phillip Bay washing over our feet and the sounds, the sensations, the view and his presence all help to calm me down. Gabe leads me a few steps back from where the water can reach us and sits us down; he pulls me between his legs and presses my back into his chest.