Resolution (Saviour #2)(55)
I look up at Gabe as I guide Ava towards the sofa to sit down, he gives me that smile, never mind the after effects of the concussion, that look is enough to make my head spin and knock me off my feet; we have been apart about five hours today but as soon as I heard his car on the drive my heart had begun to race and that first look or smile after we have been apart, makes my head spin every time, I wonder if it will ever wear off? He kisses the top of my head, then my mouth.
“Baby, why are you up? I thought Jemma was coming over?”
“Did you organise that? I thought she had just dropped by, Gabe I’m not sick, I don’t need babysitting, I feel fine, in fact I spoke to Karen Palmer this morning and told her I would be back on site on Friday.”
“Na darl, not happening, I’ve already told the Palmers you will be back next week at the earliest, they will be at the funeral tomorrow and I will tell them again if I need to.”
“Gabe, I’m absolute…”
“Lauren, please don’t argue with me on this, you were unconscious for almost three days, your arm is still in a cast and I’ve seen the way it takes you a few seconds to get your balance when you stand up. Next week at the earliest, end of.”
I throw myself down on the sofa and fold my arms across my chest, as best I can with this stupid lump of plaster wrapped halfway up my arm, “Are you sookin’ now? Stop behaving like a child Lauren; I’ve just had the worse ten days of my life, I lost my Dad and thought that I was going to lose you and Ava too, you have no idea, no idea what we all went through, now you will sit your arse on the sofa and only move if I say you can, you won’t be driving yourself anywhere and you will not be going back to work this week, are we clear?”
I suck my cheeks in and look up at him, “Fine.”
“That’s not an answer Lauren…are we clear?”
He’s pushed his hair back and run his hands though it so many times, it’s a wonder he has any left, he still looks tired and I feel bad now, “Yes we’re clear, I’m sorry.”
Ava nudges me in the ribs with a big grin on her face, “You so got told.”
“Shut up you, if I can’t move, then the same goes for you.”
She sticks her tongue out at me and we both laugh, Gabe shakes his head as I flip my middle finger at him.
“Give me strength I need a beer.”
Wednesday is a sunny day; I sometimes wonder if funerals are sadder in the sun or the rain; if it’s sunny, it makes me feel sad for all the beautiful days the person being buried will never get to see and if it’s raining, well it just makes you feel miserable all round. I hadn’t been involved in the funeral plans and by all accounts nobody other than Charlie had either, he had left strict instructions with his lawyers on how he wanted the day to go. The funeral party would leave from the house Gabe grew up in Mount Eliza, I didn’t even know they still owned this house but I could see why Charlie would have wanted to hang onto it, it was in a beautiful spot with fantastic views across the bay and towards the city, the house is dated but will make a fantastic fixer upper for someone. Gabe’s family and extended family are all gathered there and there are lots of introductions of aunties, uncles and cousins from both of his parent’s sides. He hasn’t let go of my hand the whole hour we have been here and when the hearse pulls up with his Dads coffin in, I’ve never seen such a pained expression on his face and I really think for a minute his legs are going to go from under him.
He starts to cry and I can hear the panic in his voice, “I can’t do this, Lauren please, don’t make me go out there. I can’t do this.”
Ava starts to sob loudly as she watches her Dad fall apart; luckily Jo and Jake have arrived after I messaged Jo and asked if they would come here first because I was worried about Gabe and knew Jake would know how to handle him. My head is pounding as I start to panic but Jake steps in and wraps Ava in his arms and holds her tight.
I turn my attention back to Gabe. My heart breaks for him, my hero; my saviour is falling apart in front of me. Dads are special and I know the mess I had been at my own Dad’s funeral, I only got through it thanks to Jemma stopping me from hyperventilating and I think this is what Gabe is on the verge of now and I know I need him to calm his breathing and focus, “Breathe baby, it will be fine, we will get through this, I’m right here with you, your brothers are here, Stella is here, we are all here, we will all get through this together, look at me baby…look at me… Gabe.”
I hold his face in my hands and kiss his mouth and I can taste the salt from our tears, “I love you and we will get through this for Charlie, okay? I can’t change any of this; I can’t make it go away but I will be there, with you and for you, every step of the way.”
I nod my head as I look into his eyes and he eventually nods back, “I love you, let’s do this.”
He grips my good hand so hard I think that it will surely end up in a cast too. Jackie has kept herself hidden in a bedroom until it is time to leave so I haven’t had chance to see her. As much as I loathe the woman, she has lost her husband and I am respectful of that but that is as far as my feelings go; she comes past us with an entourage of her family members, stopping to say hello and accept condolences from the mourners gathered at the house on her way out to the car, she stops level with me, Gabe and Ava.