Rescue Me(46)

Brandon hadn't heard from her. He knew because he'd asked. Repeatedly. And every time Brandon had looked at him with more curiosity than before. He'd even asked him the day before what had gotten into him.

"You're like a ghost of who you were," he'd commented.

"Am I not doing a good job? I thought I'd been doing everything you needed."

"It's not that," Brandon said, scratching his chin. "I've just never seen you like this. Not since—" Cole looked at him sharply. "Never mind."

He knew what he'd been about to say, but that wasn't the same thing at all. Jessie had hurt him badly when she'd ran off with his friend. But this was different. He was hurt, to be sure, but in a way that felt more like he'd lost a part of himself that he'd never get back. He'd not felt such an acute sense of loss even through a divorce. It was crazy.

That was exactly why he'd never wanted to get involved with a woman again. It all just ended in pain. It was easier to just keep them at arm’s length.

But in spite of the dull ache he was becoming familiar with, he knew he'd do it all over again if the choice was between knowing Meredith and never having knowing her at all.

He was almost back to his villa when Katrina caught up to him. "Are you coming tonight?"

He stared at her blankly for a moment before it clicked. "Oh, right, it's Thursday." Ballroom night. He'd been the last two weeks to help out, but he didn't know if he had it in him to deal with it this time. "I don't know."

Katrina looked at him pleadingly. "I need you there, Cole. Brandon still won't hire another dancer to come in on Thursdays and the people just aren't into it if they don't have someone inspirational to watch."

He had to laugh at that, but it lacked feeling. "That's me, Mr. Inspiration."

"Come on, then," she cajoled. "It will be fun. I know I'm not Meredith, but it will still be fun." She bit her lip as she realized her mistake. She'd walked on eggshells around the subject of Meredith once she'd learned what had gone down.

The sound of a flock of birds flying overhead drew his attention for a minute while he debated. "Fine, I'll go," he said, eliciting a huge grin from her. Then he plunged ahead with what he really wanted to ask her. "Have you heard from her? From Meredith, I mean."

"I know who you mean," she said softly. "I have."

He waited. When she didn't say anything more, he sighed. She was going to make him work for it. "And?"

"She seems to be doing okay. I guess. We don't really talk about anything other than the dance classes. She sends me her ideas and plans, and I send her the financial reports I get from Brandon."

That wasn't what he was hoping to hear, but what did he want to hear? That she was just as miserable as he was? Or even worse, that she was moving on with her life, maybe even dating someone?

He clenched his jaw. No, he definitely didn't want to hear that.

"Does she know I'm still here?"

"Yeah," Katrina said, not meeting his eyes.

He could read between the lines. She knew and didn't care. If she wanted to talk to him, she knew where to find him. She obviously didn't. He had to get over his ridiculous mooning but didn't know where to start.

"Come on," Katrina said, pulling him along toward the dance club. "Let's forget about it."

Easier said than done.

***





"If I have to look at one more financial statement I'm going to scream," Meredith said out loud, just as her assistant opened the door with an armful of files. And she did just that.

"I'm sorry," Lisa said, a frightened look on her face.

Meredith immediately apologized. She had no right to take her frustration out on her. "I just feel like I've been looking at these so long they're all starting to blend together."

She'd been studying a new client's business plan all day and it was wearing her down. For the millionth time, she wondered what she'd been thinking when she took this job.

Lisa set the files down on the edge of her desk and hurried out as fast as her heels would carry her. Meredith didn't even bother opening them. She knew she'd be bogged down all night if she did and she was ready to get out the office for the weekend.

Instead, she looked at the pictures Katrina had sent her that morning. Again. She was keeping her updated on the progress of the new programs, but these pictures, in particular, were from the ballroom party at the dance club the night before. She scrolled through them, thrilled that it was taking off so well, but stopped when she came to the one someone had taken with Katrina's phone. It was of the whole crowd, but in the center were Katrina and Cole, the stars of the show.

She pinched her fingers together on the screen and pushed them apart, zooming in on Cole's face. Was it just her imagination, or did he look different? Tired, maybe? Or was it something else? She was probably just trying to see something that wasn't there, but he looked eerily similar to how she had the week before when she'd gone out with the girls from work. A mistake she hadn't made again.

She studied it for another minute, then was distracted by a ping on her computer. A new email. She opened it and was surprised to see it was from her brother. This was the first contact she'd had with him since she'd left. She knew it was well past time to talk to him, but hadn't found the right opportunity.