Renegade (The Elysium Chronicles #1)(25)

Again, it’s easier to let the programmed response flow. “My life is just about perfect.”

He tilts his head and studies me carefully. “You gave me food, which means you don’t hate me, which means they didn’t give you anything … so this isn’t your Conditioning. What’s going on?”

Telling him won’t change anything, so I ignore the question. “I am fine. You should eat while I’m here, so the Guards don’t notice.”

He sighs, but digs into the bag and takes a bite. “Oh my God. This is disgusting. What is this? Seaweed?”

Since he’s shoveling more food into his mouth, I have to laugh. It must not be too bad. I stop laughing when it makes me question how long it’s been since he’s eaten. The state he was in when we caught him …

“How did you get all those injuries when I first saw you? It wasn’t from the Guards,” I ask.

He swallows. “A storm blew through while we were hunting. It was bad, so we ran to the closest place we could find. The rain was really thick, and I tripped. I took a header down a cliff, landing on a ledge halfway down. My partner followed me, but it was so slippery from the rain that he slid most of the way down. He couldn’t climb back up with me, and he had to drag me to the cave. Inside we found a few things that belonged to our missing people. We decided to look for them farther in the cave, but then we got lost and I kept passing out. We wandered for days, I think, before we found this weird door. By that time, we were starving and I was feeling pretty shitty, so we opened the door and…” He looks down at his hands. “Well, you know the rest.”

I don’t know what a “header” is, but I get the general picture. It doesn’t bother me he hadn’t told me the complete truth in the beginning. He hadn’t trusted me. I can’t blame him.

We look at each other then, silent.

“One question, one answer?” he finally asks. It eases some of the tension in me to realize it’s a question—a request. Not a demand. He’s willing to answer my questions, even if I don’t answer any of his.

I shrug. “What do you want to know?”

“Why do you look so sad? What happened?”

I glance behind me at the young Guard, who is watching me. He smiles, then blushes and turns back to the other Guards when one gives him what appears to be a playful punch on the arm.

Keeping my gaze on the Guard, I say, “Mother has chosen the Suitor I am supposed to be Coupled with.”

The sound of Gavin’s chewing slows, then stops. “I thought that was your choice.”

“Apparently not. Time is running out.”

“Time? You’re barely sixteen. You have plenty of time.”

“I guess not.” A lump forms in my throat.

“What do you mean?”

I stare at the ground between us, now littered with crumbs and bits of leftover food. “Well, Mother is upset that I seem to have forgotten my duty. She’s right.”

“That’s ridiculous.” His fists clench and the cracker he is holding crumbles, spreading more crumbs onto the floor.

“I have an obligation to my people to make sure there is an appropriate heir.”

He narrows his eyes. “Right this minute?”

“No, but soon.”

“Why? No one is going anywhere.”

I study the ground. “I think your showing up has made Mother anxious about me. She needs to make sure my genetics continue.”

He doesn’t say anything. I look up through my eyelashes. He’s frowning. “So this is my fault?”

“Oh, Gavin, no.” I shrug. “It’s mine. Had I chosen a Suitor before now and become Coupled this would not even be an issue.”

“How can you just take this so easily? It’s like an arranged marriage or something.”

“Yes, it is. And it’s my duty.” I shrug again. “It’s fine.”

He meets my eyes. “If that were true, you wouldn’t be so upset.”

When I don’t say anything, he sighs. “Well, whoever it is, is going to be a lucky guy.”

I give him a half smile. “Thank you.” I gesture behind me. “If you really want to know, it’s the young Guard.”

Gavin shifts his gaze from my face to the Guard. If I wasn’t watching him so carefully, I might miss the way his eyes narrow at the Guard before he lowers his gaze back to me. “He’s not good enough,” he says. “See how his shoulders are hunched and his arms swing in front like that?” I raise my eyebrows and he continues with a mischievous smile. “He looks like a gorilla.”

I laugh and feel some of the tension from last night and this morning float away. We spend the rest of the day together talking about things that make us happy. His family. My gardens. Books. Life on the Surface—including the animals, specifically apes. He seems to be taking special care not to talk about the whole coupling debacle.

I don’t know what’s changed from yesterday, but I learn a lot from him without even having to ask. I wonder if it’s his way of showing me he trusts me, and hopes I’ll trust him in return. That what he’s said isn’t a lie.

He’s what’s considered an Outlander on the Surface, which are people that live in settlements in the Outlands—most of what is left of North America. There are cities, but they are small, and few and far between. They’re protected with gates and Guards, like my city. He and his family are not allowed anywhere near them.