Renegade (The Elysium Chronicles #1)(18)

His mouth spreads into a lazy grin and my stomach quivers. “Your gardens,” he says. “I didn’t see them for long, but they’re very pretty. Did you design them?”

I smile at the visual of my gardens in my mind’s eye. It relaxes me instantly. “Yes. Father let me choose the flowers and the arrangement.”

He scoots closer, and this time I don’t move away. I don’t want to. It’s like there’s some magnet that’s pulling us together.

“I liked them very much. You must spend a lot of time there.”

“It is usually how I spend my day. Either attending to my flowers or cross-stitching or playing my violin.”

“That must keep you busy.”

I wave my hand in front of me. “Oh, I don’t mind. Idle hands lead to an idle mind.”

Excitement lights in his eyes as if I’ve said something important to him. “That’s a very interesting thing to say.” He studies me. “What else do you do for fun?”

“Fun?” I think about it. I’ve never been asked that question. “I read. Mother has an extensive library.”

“Really?” He looks surprised. “I love to read.”

I shift so I’m facing him and bend my legs underneath me. “Truly? All of my Suitors here are completely uninterested in reading.”

He frowns. “Suitors?”

“Yes. The young men Mother has chosen as candidates for me to couple with. Which stories do you like? I wonder if we have the same books.”

Still frowning, he names a few books I don’t recognize, then asks, “Couple with?”

The memory of what Mother wanted me to ask disappears into the mists of my brain. “Besides being Daughter of the People, I have been chosen for a woman’s highest honor. I have been selected to have a child.”

“What?” he yelps, startling me. “You’re still a child yourself.”

Anger replaces my excitement and I cross my arms over my chest. “I am not. A woman is eligible to have a child at sixteen. I have been eligible for three months. It is an honor to fulfill my duty and ensure only the best are born in Elysium.”

He gives me a look that is half shock, half incredulity. “That is the most bizarre thing I have ever heard. What about family? Isn’t that important here?”

A wistful feeling fills me. I don’t remember my birth parents, which is what I assume he means. I run my fingers along my necklace chain. “Do you have a family?”

“Well, yeah,” he says. I have a feeling he wanted to finish that sentence with, “Doesn’t everybody?” but already knew the answer. Instead he says, “I have a younger brother and an older sister. My sister just got engaged so she and my mom are planning the wedding for the spring. She’s twenty. We even have a dog.”

“A dog? Really? Mother has shown them to me in books. They always look so sweet, but Mother says that’s so we trust them.” I look at him pointedly. “But they’re Surface creatures—they’ll attack without reason.”

“Lucy? Attack without reason? Wow, your mom must have met some crazy dogs. Lucy wouldn’t hurt anyone … unless they tried to hurt my family.”

I move closer to him. “Can you tell me about them? Your family.”

He touches a hand to my forehead as if to check if I have a fever. His skin is rough, but I like the feel of his skin against mine. It reminds me of … someone.

Timothy and I sit in our alcove, as far away from the Square as possible. No one comes here, because it’s supposed to be where the Enforcers are, but Timothy figured out that it’s just another lie. One of Mother’s many.

No one comes here. Not even the Enforcers. It’s too dark. You can barely see in front of your face, and most people want to congregate where the light is. Light equals life in this place. His fingers caress the bare skin of my arm. He feels rough in comparison to me, and his touch gives me tingles.

The thought causes me to jump to my feet as if shocked. “Skin-to-skin touching between unCoupled people is strictly forbidden,” I gasp.

I touch the pendant around my neck, rubbing it between my thumb and forefinger. The memory fades back and the veil shrouding my brain lifts. I blink a few times, panting.

I glance around, furrowing my brow. I don’t remember how I got here. I was just in Dr. Friar’s office a second ago.

My heart is beating too fast. I need to calm down. Though I doubt they realize why I am agitated since they can’t hear anything, the Guards have tensed outside the cell with their hands resting on their side arms. I sit back down so the Guards will relax again.

I stare at Gavin, unsure what to do, silent as I calm myself. I press a hand to my temple.

He raises his eyebrows. “Are you okay? You sounded really weird there for a bit.”

I look down at the ground and into the shadows our bodies have made on the floor. “My life is just about perfect.”

He sighs. “Yes, you keep saying that.”

“I do?”

He watches me. “Yeah. You do.”

“Oh,” I say.

It happened again. I know it. The pain in my head is familiar. It hurts to think back; the same as it always feels when I get flashes of memories.

To take my mind off it, I look over at Gavin. His eyes are clear and his skin has lost that yellowish tinge it had. The tremors appear to be gone as well. “How are you feeling?”