Renegade (The Elysium Chronicles #1)(13)

“Why would I? Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.”

“O-kay—” he drags out the “O” sound. “So. You get a designation and then someone pays you?”

“Yes. Mother.”

He gives me an incredulous look. “Your mother pays everyone? Wow, she must have a money tree.”

I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my eyes. “I’m not an idiot. There’s no such thing as a money tree.”

He chuckles. “It’s just an expression. Sorry.”

I’m not completely convinced, but I continue. “Mother is the Governess. She compensates everyone by his or her designation. We’re allotted quarters, a certain amount of food, and credits to spend based on that and whether we have a family or not.”

“If you’re given food and shelter, why do you need money—credits?”

I sigh. “For the extra things. Like clothing, amusements, the Bazaar where the Artisans sell their wares. Not everyone is given money by the Governess, you know.” I think he may feel more comfortable if I can use his language. “Like you said, she doesn’t have a money tree.” The corner of my mouth tilts up in a half smile.

He returns it. “Okay, so who isn’t compensated and why not?”

“Well, just the Artisans really, because they sell their wares and earn money that way. Mother says they create more beautiful things when they have to worry where their cred— money is going to come from. Otherwise … I guess we’re not so different from you. We trade our services for the things that keep us alive. And you hunt and trade the meat and skins for other things.”

“Yes.”

Not so different. The opposite of what Mother always says. We look at each other. But something else is bothering me. Something that is different. “And for … fun?” I ask.

He nods and his eyes glaze as if remembering something from long ago. “Yes. Sometimes my brother—he’s the one who usually hunts with me—we make a game to see who can get the most kills.”

With a surprised gasp, I place my hand over my mouth. The mortar slaps onto the concrete floor.

Gavin glances over, confused.

“That’s horrible. You’re killing all those animals for fun?” I look away from him, pick up the mortar, and go back to the paste, but I don’t do anything with it. I just sit with it in my lap. I look back up at his face and shake my head. “Mother is right. You are a bunch of barbarians.” This is why I shouldn’t be helping him, but I find myself still mixing the herbs together to make a paste. As repulsive as I find this behavior, it’s also fascinating.

He leans forward. “Yeah, so what? You have assassins. Now that’s barbaric.” He looks relaxed, but there’s a tension to his body that wasn’t there before. As if he’s preparing for a fight.

“They’re not assassins, they’re Enforcers! There’s a huge difference between killing for fun and killing to protect peace.”

Gavin rests his hands on the floor between us so he’s eye level with me. I squirm, but he ignores me. “How is it better to murder human beings just for breaking some rules? At least we use everything the animal offers, even if we make a game out of it.”

I grip the mortar tightly between my fingers. So tightly, it’s a wonder it doesn’t crack. “But we must keep the peace,” I spit out. “Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.”

His eyes flash. “And some sacrifices must be made so we can eat and live!”

Seething, I take the paste and smear it on his back. He grunts, and I have to force myself to apply it more gently. I refuse to say anything to him, but part of me realizes there is a certain truth to what he is saying.

We kill to maintain our way of life. They kill to remain living. Which is more barbaric? I have to admit it’s probably us. At least they eat the things they kill and make use of the creature. What do we do? Turn the bodies into ash.

This is not what I expected to learn. But it gives me plenty to think about.

When his back is completely covered in the medicinal paste, I pack my things and then glance at the Guards. The Enforcer is gone. While I’m relieved, I have to wonder why she was here in the first place. If it wasn’t to help the Guards, what was the real purpose? I move so my body blocks Gavin’s from the cameras. You can never be too careful. It is better to err on the side of caution. Mother taught me that.

I hand him the second first-aid kit and lean down to whisper in his ear. I am confident my position looks like I am surveying the work I’ve done on his back. He jumps a little when he hears my voice.

“This is filled with nonperishable food. It’s not the best, but it’s all I could get without Mother noticing,” I say. I move to leave, but he grabs my hand. Little tingles zing up my nerve endings and cause a fluttering in my stomach. I snatch my hand away as panic swirls through my body, causing my heart to hammer in my chest. Touching between unCoupled people is forbidden.

This must be why unCoupled people shouldn’t touch each other. It feels funny. And yet, it’s slightly familiar. I’m not sure why. Even when one of my previous Suitors accidentally touched me, it hadn’t felt like this.

“Are you breaking the law by giving me this stuff?” His voice is soft, but I’m sure it’s only because he doesn’t want me to get in trouble. If I die, there will be no one to help him further. He doesn’t seem like a stupid person, even if he is a Surface Dweller.