Raging Heart On (Lucas Brothers #2)(9)

“I said no.”

“Just like that? You don’t even want to consider it? Even knowing how important it is to me?”

“Quit being melodramatic, Kayla.”

His words are like a slap in the face. Melodramatic?

“I don’t think I’m being melodramatic at all. I only plan on getting married once, Tommy.”

“I know that. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise,” he starts, but I cut him off.

“And I’ve always wanted a wedding on the Lucas farm. It’s where my favorite memories are. It’s where I finally felt part of a family. It’s important to me.” I finally think I’m getting through because Tommy listens to me and then he pulls me close. Immediately, I feel guilty because with Tommy, there’s none of the heat or excitement that happens like when White does the same thing. There’s no breath that lodges in my throat, no quickening heartbeat. There’s just nothing, and the fear that I’ve chosen wrong and made a mistake settles once again deep inside of me.

“Kayla, you have to let the past go. We’re going to make our own memories and those memories will have nothing to do with the Lucas family. They will involve only you and me and the family we will have around us,” he says while looking at me, and it’s strange. His eyes are the same color as White’s, but they don’t hold the same intensity. They’re cool, not warm.

“Your family hates me.”

“They don’t know you.”

“They don’t want to. And I don’t want Cynthia to be at our wedding.”

His face goes grim at my words, his jawline tightening, and I can see the disapproval that washes over him.

“She’s the mother of my child. The same child you will be a stepmother to.”

“I love your daughter, you know that. Arie isn’t the problem.”

“The problem? I didn’t realize we had a problem, Kay,” he says, and when he shortens my name, I hate it. I never let anyone do it… except for White.

He steps back from me and leans against the wall. His arms are folded at his chest and I know before I even start that his mind is closed.

“We do. I don’t think you’re putting me first.”

“Arie comes first.”

There’s a small part of me that’s hurt by his words, which is crazy. If I had a child, I’d put her first too. But, for him to just say that without even adding me into the equation really stings me. Couldn’t he have said “you and Arie” will always come first?

“And where do I fall in line?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, so far, I see you making concessions for your parents, your friends, and your coworkers. Hell, even your ex-wife came to the dinner we had scheduled with your parents. I ask to have my wedding at my family home, and you immediately shut me down.”

“And you know why!”

“Why? Because you want Cynthia to be there? It’s my wedding, Tommy. Mine.”

“It’s mine too, Kay, or did you forget that?”

“What? Of course I didn’t. What do you mean…?”

“I mean, maybe you forgot that I’m the groom and not Lucas.”

“That’s a low blow, Tommy.”

“Let’s not fool ourselves, Kay. You’ve told me how you feel about White before. We both agreed to this wedding because we wanted certain things. It’s a marriage of friendship and convenience. You need to put White out of your life.”

“But there isn’t anything between us! We’re friends. You can’t act like it’s something we need to address, Tommy. You don’t get to do that. We talked about all of it before I even agreed to your proposal! This is about respect and—”

“And do you think you are respecting me by asking me to have this wedding at the home of the man my wife left me for?”

“You took her away from him first, and she isn’t your wife anymore! She wasn’t then!”

“I don’t want to talk about this with you!” he growls.

“Don’t you think we should talk about it? We’re getting married, Tommy!”

“Are we, Kayla?”

“What? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying if you keep insisting on having this wedding at the Lucas Ranch, then as far as I’m concerned, there will be no wedding.”

“Are you serious?”

“Completely. I will not agree to a wedding at the Lucas Ranch. If you insist on it, this wedding is done.”

“Just like that?”

“You’re the one pushing this, Kayla. Not me.”

“If it’s so easy for you to decide, then why were you telling White how you knew my worth last night? What was all that about?”

“I do know your worth, Kayla. We could have a good life together. A calm life. A life without surprises and one of mutual respect. But you’re not willing to let go of White and the Lucas family. They’re not yours, Kayla. They’ve never been yours. It’s time you either accepted that and move forward with me and the family we could build, or admit you will never be able to cut the ties.”

His words hurt. They cut something inside of me that has been raw since my stepfather left. He’s not entirely wrong. I can admit that. If I move forward, I do need to let go of them some—specifically White. One question hounds me though.