Raging Heart On (Lucas Brothers #2)(7)

“Your favorite, if I remember correctly, Buttercup.”

“Am I dying?” I ask as I bite into pure confectionary heaven.

“No one knows you like I do, Kayla. No one ever will,” he says with an odd look on his face.

His words hit this part in my stomach that literally hurts and then leaves it raw. My hand goes there almost in defense as I feel the burning bloom and curl around me, entering my bloodstream. He’s right. No one has ever known me like White does. We’ve been best friends since high school and, as much as it hurt to be in love with my best friend, the terror of not having him at all has kept me from ever telling him how I really felt. White is gorgeous. Women would flock to him regardless. Being a football god just makes it that much worse. He’s way out of my league. Not even in my zip code, honestly. Plus, White doesn’t do relationships. He’s horrible at them. The longest one he ever had lasted two months. Usually by the second week, he becomes so bored that he’s inventing reasons to stay away from them. By week four, he averages seeing them once a week with sporadic phone calls. By the second month, only the really stupid women are still hanging around, and he always sends them flowers with a note that says, in essence: “It’s not you—it’s me.”

The idea of ever becoming one of those women would kill me. I’d rather have my buddy than nothing at all… or I always had. But, now I’m tired of always being on the outside looking in. I don’t want to be the woman who was in love with a man she could never have, and because of that, failed to have kids and a family of her own. I want a home. A real home. A life I never had growing up until Ida Sue steamrolled her way in.

“That’s only because I’ve put up with your bullshit through the years,” I tell him, shaking off my thoughts.

“I’m just trying to make amends for last night. I shouldn’t have lost my cool,” he says.

I grimace. I knew going in what last night would be like. I just really needed someone with me because I hate Tommy’s family. They all treat me like a piece of ancient gum found under the table at a restaurant.

“Cynthia’s a bitch,” I tell him, then privately in my mind, I add: And so are the rest of them.

“I still don’t understand why he had to have her there.”

“He has a name.” I don’t truthfully understand why Tommy is so nice to Cynthia, except maybe in deference to their daughter. Still, even considering that, I didn’t like that she was at my dinner with the family. Tommy and I had words over it, and those words have slowly progressed into not talking much at all because we see things differently. That isn’t good, I know, but I’m not ready to bend just yet, and it’s not looking like Tommy will at all.

“Whatever,” White says, and all I can do is shake my head. “So what’s on the agenda for today?” he asks.

I take a minute to savor another doughnut as I think about his question. “Tommy and I were supposed to go check out wedding venues, but he got called in to the office. So, I’m not sure now. He told me to go without him, but I don’t really want to go on my own, and besides, what if he hates what I pick?”

“I still don’t see why you’re getting married.”

“White, let’s not get into this again. I’m aware of your thoughts on the matter. I’m marrying Tommy. I want a family. End of discussion.”

“Fine, then I’ll go with you.”

“Yeah, right. You get bored going to the grocery store with me. I doubt very seriously you’re up to traipsing all over town looking at different places to hold a wedding—a wedding you don’t even want to happen.”

“I can be impartial. Besides, I’ll be outside. I can do that. As long as you aren’t getting your toenails painted or hair done and I have to sit in the corner feeling my male chromosomes leaking out of my body slowly each minute, I can deal.”

“I don’t know. Besides, it doesn’t change the fact that Tommy won’t be able to be there with me.”

“You can send him pictures of your favorites. It’ll be like he’s right there.”

“You sure are being helpful for a man who doesn’t even want this marriage to happen.”

“I want my best girl happy. If Tommy truly does that, then who am I to stand in the way?”

“Thank you,” I answer him, unsure of what else to say, and his answer has left butterflies fluttering around in my stomach as it is.

“Anytime. I’m always here for you, Kayla. Always.”

“I know that, White. You’re my best friend,” I tell him.

The trouble is, I don’t know if I’m reminding him, or me. I really need to remember that we’re just friends.

That’s all.





CHAPTER 6


WHITE




“Oh, hell no!”

“What now??” Kayla cries.

This is the fifth place we’ve been to and I’ve managed to convince her so far that every one of them isn’t right for what she wants. I should feel guilty, but I don’t. I’ve been truthful for the most part, if not a bit over zealous in my approach. None of the places we have seen are good enough for Kayla. Especially the one we’re at right now.

“What’s wrong with it?” she demands, sticking her bottom lip out and looking like a pouting child being denied her favorite toy.