RNWMP: Bride for Theodore (Mail Order Mounties)(25)

“If you want to go to bed early tonight, I’ll make your excuses.”

Jess was tempted, but she shook her head. “No. I can’t hide from my problems. As much as I’d like to avoid Teddy for the rest of my time here, I just can’t do it. It’s the coward’s way out, and I’m anything but a coward.” She stood up. “I do think I’m going to lie down for an hour before supper, though, if that’s not leaving too much of the work for you.”

“Not at all.” Miss Hazel stood up and walked around the table to hug Jess. “I hope you don’t hate me for my part in all of this.”

Jess smiled, though it hurt. “I could never hate you, Miss Hazel. You’re one of the most amazing women I know.” She wandered off into the bedroom, not realizing until she was already there that she’d forgotten her notepad. No matter. She’d get it later.

When she closed her eyes, all she could see was Theodore…but even in her dreams, he couldn’t bring himself to ask her to stay.



When Theodore arrived for supper that evening, he looked around for Jess. His mother stood at the stove, which surprised him. “Where’s Jessica?”

“She’s taking a little nap. She didn’t sleep well last night.”

Theodore sank into one of the chairs at the table. “Mom, I feel like the world’s worst villain. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but it seems that’s all I’ve done since she arrived.”

“That’s not true. I’ve seen true joy shining from her eyes most of the time she’s been here. You hurt her a lot the day she arrived at the train station. And whatever passed between you last night…well, it broke her heart.”

“Is she okay?”

“She will be.” She dropped the notepad that Jess had spent the day drawing in on the table in front of him. “She didn’t do any work today other than making the jam. Instead she went out by the lake and drew. She spent the whole day drawing, not even remembering to eat until a couple of hours ago when I fixed something and shoved it under her nose.”

“I didn’t know Jess could draw.” He opened the notepad and smiled at the lake. She’d drawn it just the way it had been when they’d first walked beside it. “This is beautiful.”

“She does good work. She always has.” She stood over the table watching him as he flipped to the next page and then the next.

He saw his face staring back at him from every page. She’d captured him perfectly. He could remember each emotion he’d shown her as he thumbed through the notepad, but it was the emotion on the last page that made him want to drop to his knees and beg Jessica’s forgiveness.

He stood with a flower in his hand, one that he’d picked for her and tucked behind her ear as they’d walked. The look in his eyes was…well it was how he felt every time he saw her. His heart filled until it felt as if it was overflowing. There was nothing without her. He saw before him an endless stream of loneliness. Loneliness that no guitar music would ever take away.

“Does she know you’re showing me this?” he asked finally, looking up at his mother, who stood there watching him with tears in her eyes.

She shook her head. “No, Teddy. She doesn’t even know that I’ve seen them. She left her notepad here when she went to take her nap. I don’t think I was meant to see them at all. I know you weren’t.”

He closed the notepad and laid it in the center of the table. “I need some time. How long before supper’s ready?”

“About ten minutes.”

“I’ll be back.” He left through the backdoor, walking away from the house and toward one of the trees in the woods there. He had to do something to end their heartache.





9





When Miss Hazel came to get her for supper, Jess pushed her hair out of her face, putting it back into the bun she usually wore. It had fallen out during her nap, and she didn’t want to look unkempt for a meal she had with Theodore and his friends. She would do her best to act happy, though she was certain they’d all be able to see that her heart was breaking by looking into her eyes. It was the first time in her life that she wished she wore spectacles. They would at least give her something to hide behind.

She walked out to greet the Mounties, apologizing for her exhaustion. “I don’t usually sleep during the day,” she said with a laugh. It sounded forced to her, but no one said anything.

She walked to the work table to help Miss Hazel, but realized all the work was done. The Mounties were all seated at the table with their suppers in front of them. She sat in the same spot where she’d eaten all week, right next to Theodore. “Thank you for cooking, Miss Hazel.”

Theodore tried not to look at Jess, but he planned to get her alone for a good long talk after supper. They would never work anything out if they didn’t eat.

While they ate, Elijah regaled them with an amusing tale of a homesteader a few miles south of town he’d run into that day. Apparently, the man didn’t think that Canada allowed him to get enough sunshine, so he’d taken to soaking up the sun’s rays by working without a stitch of clothing on that day.

Jess bit her lip to avoid laughing. “He hasn’t done this before?” Surely someone who was that elemental would feel the need to work naked every day.