RNWMP: Bride for Theodore (Mail Order Mounties)(24)

When Theodore walked into his cabin, his eyes immediately went to Jess. She looked so sad to him. He wanted to gather her in his arms and beg her to stay, but how could he do that? She’d already told him she had no intention of staying in British Columbia.

Having grown up in the hustle and bustle of the nation’s capital as she had, he knew that the quiet of Squirrel Ridge Station would never be right for her. No, they’d made the right decision, he was sure of it.

Jess made sure she didn’t make eye contact with Theodore as she served all of the men their breakfast. When she didn’t immediately sit down to eat with them, Joel asked, “Aren’t you eating, Jess?”

Jess shook her head. “I have to watch the jam. Go ahead without me. I’ll get something later.” She took a wooden spoon and continually stirred the jam, though it really wasn’t necessary at all.

After they’d eaten—a particularly quiet meal—the men put their dishes into the basin so she could wash them. Theodore stopped behind her, but didn’t touch her as he usually did. “I’ll need to work through my lunch break today. Maybe you or Mom could run something over to the office?”

“Of course.” She knew she’d send his mother. He knew she’d send his mother. She was too heartbroken to do anything else.

He left for work absolutely dejected. What did you say to the girl you loved who was about to disappear from your life forever? He had to figure it out, because in two days, she’d be gone.

As Jess washed the breakfast dishes, she saw the pastor ride out of town toward the north. He was gone, and so was her hope of marrying Theodore. There was no pastor now. Their fate was sealed.

When she’d finished with the jam, she made a sandwich for Theodore’s lunch, left a note for Miss Hazel to deliver the lunch to him at noon, and she left the cabin, taking only paper and a pencil with her. She’d always enjoyed drawing, so she went to the lake and captured the sun over the water. She spent hours there, drawing whatever came to her, and at the end of the day, she felt better.

She looked through the sketches she’d made, and after the one of the lake, every single sketch was of Theodore. She flipped through them, and couldn’t help but smile. She’d captured him in every mood, but mostly she’d captured a look of love on his face.

She closed the notepad, hugging it to her. Maybe she’d give it to his mother, but more likely she’d keep them to pull out and look at. She’d drawn him in his Mountie uniform in every picture, knowing she’d always remember him that way.

It was late afternoon when she finally got up and headed back toward the cabin. She needed to get supper on the table, and she didn’t even know what she was going to cook. She didn’t know if she had it in her to cook, but she couldn’t let five men go hungry simply because she was sad. Whether she was heartbroken or not, Nolan would gnaw the back of his chair if he wasn’t fed on time.

When she stepped into the cabin, Miss Hazel was sliding something into the oven. “Did you cook?” Jess asked.

“I thought it would be best if I took my turn today. I made two large beef pot pies. Are you still planning to make several meals tomorrow to leave the Mounties with when we head back to Ottawa?”

“Yes, I think I am. I don’t really know what my plans are at the moment. My mind is spinning.”

“When was the last time you ate something?” Miss Hazel asked, looking at Jess with a worried expression. “Lovesick or not, you have to eat to keep up your strength.”

Jess shrugged. “I don’t know. I think last night.”

“Sit down. I’ll fix something for you.”

“Did you take Teddy his lunch?” Jess asked, even in her confusion, thinking of Theodore first.

“Yes, I did. He said to thank you for making it for him.” Miss Hazel broke a few eggs into a bowl and the added a dollop of milk. “Do you want me to tell the men that you’re not feeling well tonight?” She poured her mixture into a frying pan.

“I don’t know what I want. Is it possible to love someone so much that you ache inside?”

Miss Hazel sighed. “I’ve come up with some stupid plans and schemes over the years, but this was the absolute worst. I truly believed that when Teddy saw you get off that train, he would marry you, simply because I’d said he would. I should have known my stubborn son better than that.” She slid the plate of scrambled eggs in front of Jess, adding a couple of muffins from breakfast.

“I wouldn’t have wanted him to marry me just to keep your word to me. It wouldn’t have been right.”

“Maybe not, but I still thought it was what he’d do.” Miss Hazel took the seat across from Jess, her face filled with sadness. “I’m so sorry to have hurt you this way. I didn’t realize you were already in love with him or I swear I’d never have attempted to get him to marry you this way.”

“I know you wouldn’t have. I’m not angry.” Jess pushed the food around on her plate with the fork. “It’s always been Teddy for me. Every time a man asked me if he could court me, I told him no, because I couldn’t imagine myself in love with anyone else.” She took a bite of the food, but it tasted like sand. She didn’t want to eat. She didn’t want to do anything but sleep so she could forget the pain of being rejected by the man she loved.