RISK(62)

"Not tonight," he says under his breath. "You just saved my life. I owe you, Ellie. The cookies are just the start of my repaying you for that."

***

"We're even." I crawl across my bed, looking back at where he's sitting. "You can stop, Nolan. Please stop. We're even."

He wipes his lips against his shoulder as he reaches out to grab me. "We are not even close to being even. Sit on my face, Ellie."

"Oh my God." I try to pull my leg free of his hand. "I came twice already. You don't need to do it again."

"I do." He grazes his fingers over my calf. "I love it, Ellie. I f*cking love the taste of you and those sounds you make. If you'd let me, I'd record the audio of you coming on my phone so I can listen to it when I jack off in the shower."

"No." I laugh as I shake my head. "No recordings. I don't want those surfacing after we break up. I'll never live it down."

"Stop," he hisses as he moves up me. He grabs my waist flipping me over until I'm beneath him. "Don't talk about this being over. You don't f*cking know how I feel, Ellie."

I chuckle. "I know exactly how you feel. Your cock is hard. It's going to crush my thigh."

"I'm falling, Ellie." He rests his forehead against my cheek. "I'm falling so hard."

My chest tightens. It's the sex that's driving his words. We kissed on the street after we ate the burgers and he fed me the cookie. When I asked him to my place, he flagged down a taxi and held tight to my hand until we closed my bedroom door and stripped.

"Don't." I push against his chest. "Don't say it unless it's real."

He moves so his hands are bracketing my face as he stares down at me. "It's real. What I feel is so f*cking real that it scares me but I crave it. I need it. I need you, Ellie."

I need him too. It's not just the sex and the fun. It's more. When I'm around him I feel my heart binding to his in a way it never did with Tad or any man I've ever dated. This is more. This is real and I'm terrified that if it ends, I'll never get over him.

"I want you to make love to me," I whisper into the still air between us. "I've never had that. I want you to show me what it's like."

He bites his bottom lip as his throat works on a deep swallow. "I've never had that either. I never wanted it until now."

I watch in silence as he rips open the condom package he brought with him. He sheathes himself before he leans down to kiss me tenderly. "Let me fall for you, Ellie. Let me show you what you mean to me."





Chapter 42


Nolan




"I think I fell in love last night."

Eda stops in place right in front of my desk, the cup of coffee in her hand shaking. "You what, sir?"

"Sit." I point at the chairs in front of my desk. "Have a sip of that coffee. You look like you could use it."

She lowers herself into one of the chairs. "This is your coffee. I bring you coffee every morning."

"Why?" I rest my elbows on my desk. "It's not part of your job description."

"I bring you coffee because you send me flowers every second Friday." She takes a sip of the steaming liquid. "You think I don't know it's you, but I do."

"Before Harold died he asked me to arrange a flower delivery for you every second Friday of the month for a year. It was important to him, so I continued the tradition."

She absorbs that, her eyes a clear window into her emotion. "He started doing it when we first married. Back then, it was a bouquet made up of flowers he'd pick from other people's gardens on his way home from work. The professional arrangements came years later, but it was always every second Friday, no matter the season."

"I'll stop when you tell me to stop," I half lie. I'll tone it back to one delivery a month if she asks me to stop but I'll never give it up completely. I see her gazing at the elevator when she knows a delivery is coming. She waits and as soon as it arrives, she packs up her desk, takes the flowers and leaves for the day.

"I won't tell you that." She rests the coffee mug on the corner of my desk. "Did you say you fell in love last night, sir?"

"I think I did, yes."

"You think you did?" She tilts her head to the side, her eyes scanning my face. "You're not sure if you did?"

"No." I exhale sharply. "I don't know if I fell or not."

"It's not typically like a cliff, Mr. Black." She teeters on the edge of the chair. "It's not often that one just falls in love in an instant and is completely aware of it. It takes time."

"How much time?"

She scratches her nose, her finger pushing on the frame of her glasses. "It depends. How long did it take the last time you fell in love?"

"There isn't a last time," I respond quickly. "I'm a novice at this, Eda. This is my first time at the rodeo."

"Miss Madden is a lovely first love."

"She is." I scrub my hand over the back of my neck.

She studies me. "The first time she came to the office and you sent me to marketing I knew there was something special about her."