Pull (Seaside #2)(46)

He took a step closer to me and then another and another until we were nearly chest to chest. My knees felt weak as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me full on the mouth. I fell into him, easily trapped by his magnetism.

“Your morning kiss,” he said pulling away. “Good morning, Alyssa.”

Okay, so I know swooning doesn’t really happen, but I could have sworn in that moment that my legs gave way, that my body swayed into his, and that I seriously saw fireworks go off in the sky as he bent and kissed my hand tenderly then jogged away.

“Who was that?” My dad said from behind me, scaring the crap out of my frozen moment in time.

“I, uh—” What was he? My boyfriend? No, that would be crazy, wouldn’t it? “He’s my good friend.”

“How old is he?” Dad crossed his arms and gazed out toward the street. Clearly he hadn’t seen Demetri’s face, otherwise he would have known exactly who he was talking about.

“Thirty,” I answered deadpan.

“What!” The tiny vein in my dad’s forehead looked like it was going to pop. Ah, it had been too long since I’d seen him show any sort of emotion except pity around me.

I slapped him on the back. “Don’t worry, Dad. I know what I’m doing. We’ve got a plan. First he’s going to move in here with us, you know to be smart and save money. And then we hope to get married and start a family, possibly build a second wing on the house. He just got out of jail, so it should be hard for him to find work, but hey, we have the taffy shop!”

“Thirty?” Dad repeated, obviously still stuck on the whole age thing.

I nodded.

“Wait. What?” Dad shook his head and then finally looked down at my face. I was grinning like an idiot.

Dad’s eyes narrowed. “Very funny.”

I sighed. “I sure thought so.”

“Great to see you’ve got your sense of humor back,” he grumbled then placed his hand over his chest. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”

“I keep you young.” I pointed my finger in his face and laughed again.

And that’s when my dad burst into tears.

“Dad!” I reached for him, but he stepped away from me and wiped his eyes. “I’ve been so damn worried about you, Alyssa.”

I sighed and reached for my dad’s hand. He took my hand then and pulled me into a hug. “I love you. I’ve just worried that…”

“Dad, I’m not going to kill myself.” My face was pressed against his chest so hard that my voice was muffled.

He exhaled a long, slow breath. I stepped back. “I know.”

He held my hands in his. “But you aren’t the same person you were a few years back. You used to smile.”

“I smile,” I said defensively.

“You rarely smile,” Dad pointed out. “You work longer hours than mom and I, and you don’t have any friends.”

Why did people keep reminding me I didn’t have friends? I nodded solemnly and shrugged. “I have Demetri now.”

“Do you think it’s smart to have only one friend who’s a boy? What about girls? Don’t girls need that sort of thing?”

“I have Mom.”

Dad rolled his eyes. “Family doesn’t count.”

“I met Nat Murray yesterday. She’s pretty cool. And I met Holly at group therapy. Maybe we can all hang out sometime.” I gave him a firm nod and then punched him in the shoulder. “Cheer up, Dad. I’m going to be fine.”

I walked slowly up the stairs to my dad saying “I can’t lose you again” under his breath.

The thing was, I didn’t want to get lost again either. I wanted to remember today, remember how it felt to be in Demetri’s arms. To tell him all my secrets and have him give it to me straight.

I should have been mad at him, but he was so brutally honest with me. More honest than anyone, Mrs. Murray included, had been about my situation. He called me selfish. ME! The girl who watched her boyfriend die as she tried to save his life.

I never thought of my grief as being selfish. In my own little world it was like this little trophy I kept in honor of Brady, in honor of his accomplishments and everything he was to me. It never once occurred to me that by holding on to him, I was selfishly holding onto my past and refusing to move on.

When I walked into my room, it hit me — a wave of reality.

My eyes scanned the area. The Justin Bieber poster was still on my door, Brady’s sweatshirt was on the floor. My pom-poms sat untouched in the corner, pictures of Brady and me littered one side of the room, and yearbooks sat at the foot of my bed.

My room was like a tomb, a memorial.

No wonder I hadn’t been able to let go.

I looked at my cell. I only had about an hour before work. It wasn’t much, but it was enough time to at least start what I should have done years ago.

Heal.





Chapter Twenty-two


Demetri


I sang as I walked back to my house. I’m not even ashamed to admit it. Sure, I got a few weird looks, but I didn’t care. Hell, they were getting a free concert as far as I was concerned. I mean, I know I hadn’t sung in front of people in a while, the taffy corner didn’t count, but I was still a rock star, right?