Players, Bumps and Cocktail Sausages (Silence #3)(35)

“Jasper, are you okay?” She stepped in my flat to get a closer look. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“A bit. Did you come here to discuss my sleeping habits or do you want something?”

“Please don’t be like that, Jasper, I’m worried.”

“What do you want, Abby?” I asked a little more harshly than I’d intended, but I was tired on the verge of a hangover if I didn’t start drinking again and she was the second last person in the world I wanted to see.

“Can we sit? I really need to talk to you about something.”

Smiling sarcastically, I waved my hand towards my living room. The coffee table was covered in plates, glasses and bottles, but I didn’t care what she thought of me anymore .

She ignored the mess and sat down.

“Please sit with me,” she said, looking up at me.

I rolled my eyes and sat. “This’d better be good. You’re keeping me from something important.”

“Like getting drunk?”

“Yep.” And calling one of the women on my new booty call list.

“Jasper, this isn’t you. You don’t drink things away.”

“You don’t sleep with co-workers, but people change.”

She dropped her eyes, and I sighed, running my hands over my face roughly.

“Just spit it out, Abby, please.”

“I’m pregnant.” I froze. Time stood still.

“Pregnant,” I whispered, and all the air left my lungs.

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Mine?”

“Of course!” She looked offended, and I laughed. “Don’t, Jasper. Brett and I used a condom. We stopped using them years ago.”

“Jesus! How?”

I ran my hands through my hair. No. Not now.

“I know you don’t need me to explain how.”

“Actually, I do. We haven’t slept together in a while.”

“I know things had been off towards the… end. I’ve calculated that I’m about eight weeks.”

Wow, she was pregnant for over two months, and we didn’t know. While she was telling me she wanted to put baby making on hold while she was sleeping with someone else, she was carrying my child.

This was so fucked up.

In seven months, we were going to have a child, and it couldn’t be at a worse time. I could barely look at Abby, and every time I did her betrayal slammed me in the face. It hurt. I wanted to be able to see her without feeling like shit and having a baby was only going to make that worse. We’d have to have regular contact. She was the mother of my child and no matter how much she hurt me that meant something.

How was I supposed to stop loving her now?

“Look, I understand that this isn’t the best timing, and we have a lot of things to get past but we can. This is us, Jasper.”

She had a tiny, innocent baby growing inside her, and I couldn’t let my son or daughter down. For the baby’s sake, I would be civil.

“Okay. How is this going to work then? Have you seen a midwife yet?”

Shit.

“Yes, I had my first visit today. She’s booking me in for a scan because I’m not sure exactly how far along I am.”

One of the last times we slept together we’d created another person. God I wished it could be under different circumstances because all I wanted was my wife and a child. Now I was looking at joint custody and passing the baby back and forth.

“When’s the scan?” I asked, looking at her still flat stomach. How long until she had a bump?

“I’m not sure. I’ll get a letter in a day or so, apparently. Will you come?”

“You know I will.”

A thought struck me. She wanted a career.

“So how does this work? What about school?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have a choice now. I’m going to be a mum so I’ll have to work it all around the baby. There are plenty of good nursery schools around for when we’re both working.”

My face fell. No. You didn’t know who was working in those things. The thought of leaving my child with a stranger made me feel sick.

“Not with someone else. We’ll sort something.”

“Jasper, I can’t rely on my parents and your mum to look after our child.”

“They’d love to do it. Isn’t it better that he or she is with family rather than strangers?”

She held her hands up.

“Let’s not fight about this. We’ll talk to them and see.”

We’d make it work because I’d rather work nights when Abby could take over with the baby than have it with someone we didn’t know. If your own family could hurt you, what was stopping strangers? That was something I was going to have to talk seriously about with Abby.

She already knew how nervous Oakley was letting Everleigh go anywhere – not that she did let her unless it was with me, Cole or Mum – so she knew I’d have a hard time too.

It wasn’t healthy; I understood that, but if unhealthy kept my kid safe then it was fine by me.

“We’re really having a baby,” I said, dragging my hands through my hair. I’m going to be a dad.

She smiled.

“Yes. I thought you’d be happier I have to say. This is what you’ve wanted for years now.”