Players, Bumps and Cocktail Sausages (Silence #3)(38)

She laughed. “Weird?”

“Yeah, weird.”

“If I was having a baby with someone else would you be here right now?”

“At work?”

She deadpanned.

“Alright, fine. Yes, I’d want you, but I don’t have any morals.”

“That’s rubbish. You do.”

“Fine, I have some. I think I’d still hit on you though, unless you were with this other guy.”

Rolling her eyes, she pushed me back up, so I was sitting straight.

“Of course you would because you just can’t get enough of me.”

Something like that. I’d rather be with Holly than all those other women.

“Why are we even having this discussion?” she asked.

“Alright, sorry.” Frowning, I stood up and walked into the office. What the hell was her problem? We’d only slept together a few times, and I wasn’t even with Abby. She couldn’t be jealous, could she?

“Holly,” I said, poking my head around the door. She looked up. “Is there something you want to talk about? Baby wise?”

“No. Why?”

“It’s just that you seem off since I told you about Abby being pregnant.”

“Look, I don’t mean to be off or anything, it’s just sudden, and I thought that you were finally starting to get your life back on track. Then this.”

Wow, she really had no idea how many nights a week I went out getting smashed. Did she think I’d only slept with her since the break-up? I wanted her to think that rather than knowing the truth – that I woke up with women beside me I couldn’t remember going home with a couple times a week.

I wanted to protect that secret and not have her be disappointed in me. In a very short space of time, she’d become someone that I cared about. I didn’t want to lose her friendship or make her feel like a random woman I’d fucked since my wife cheated. Holly deserved better.

“As long as you’re good.”

“I am,” she replied.

“Want a coffee?”

“Please.”

I went in the kitchen, feeling a lot better for talking to her rather than leaving it. Now if I could only do that with Abby, things would be so much easier.



I wanted nothing to do with Abby, but she was carrying our baby; therefore, I was going to push everything else to the back of my mind and be the best dad-to-be I could.

“Uncle Jasper, where are we going?”

“The petting zoo,” I replied, looking over at her to see her reaction.

Her bright, baby blue eyes lit up, and she smiled a full, toothy smile.

“Yay!” she chanted. “Can I cuddle a goat?”

I laughed. “If you want.”

Since Cole and Oakley took her there a few months ago, she’d been obsessed with goats. Apparently she threw a tantrum when she was told she couldn’t have one. A day out with her was exactly what I needed to take my mind off everything for a while.

Tomorrow was scan day. I was buzzing at the thought of seeing my son or daughter, but I was also shit scared. Seeing it would make it real. I wanted to forget Abby, but this was going to tie us together for the rest of our lives. Every time I saw her I felt like I was being punched. I just hoped it would get better before the baby arrived.

“Are Mummy and Daddy coming too?”

“No, they’re at work. You’re okay just going with me, aren’t you?”

She nodded. “Can I have ice cream and chocolate?”

“If you promise me you’ll brush your teeth extra good tonight?”

“Okay. I don’t want my teeth to go black and fall out.” Her eyes widened, and she scrunched her nose up.

“That’s right you don’t.”

“Are we nearly there yet?” she asked, practically bouncing in her seat.

“Almost,” I replied. Soon Everleigh would have a younger cousin to nag about timings and hurrying up. I couldn’t wait to take my own kid out too. Weekends and my days off. That was probably when I’d have the baby. I wanted joint custody and the baby spending an equal amount of time with us both.

I felt like I was already being pushed out. Not that Abby had done anything intentionally but her talk of nurseries and pre-school without consulting me made me think she felt she had the most rights and could decide these things on her own. She’d never been like that before. Every decision we made was a joint one. I felt like the dad that was being replaced by a step-dad.

My blood turned cold. Brett. If Abby really was with Brett now would he be the one discussing what to do with my child? I was sickened by the thought of him in my child’s life more than me, but there was nothing I could do to stop it if Kerry was right and they were together. She’d seen them together in town.

“Uncle Jasper?” Everleigh said, bringing me back to reality.

“Yeah?”

“Can I have a goat at your house?”

I laughed. “Everleigh, I live in a flat. I don’t even have the space for a dog. Where would I keep a goat?”

“In my room. I don’t mind sharing.”

Things were so simple to kids. I loved it the innocence and naivety. Just put the goat in the bedroom. If she’d picked an animal that wouldn’t eat my flat, then I probably would have bought it for her. I sucked at telling her no.