Players, Bumps and Cocktail Sausages (Silence #3)(27)

“No.”

“So it was just sex? Or was it the thrill of something new? Am I not enough?”

“Don’t do that. You’re enough, of course you are.”

“Then why, Abby? I thought this was past us. I thought you wanted us.”

“I do! I made a huge, huge mistake, and I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. Please just come home with me and we’ll talk it through. I swear I will never hurt you again.”

“I don’t trust you. It took years to build that back up, and you’ve pissed all over it. I don’t even want to try. I love you, but I won’t let you cheat. You knew I would never forgive that again, and yet you slept with him anyway.”

Tears rolled down her face, smearing her mascara. I wanted to hold her, and I hated myself for that. Why couldn’t I just hate her?

“Why him?”

“I don’t know. He was nice. We got talking, and we have a lot in common.”

“I have a lot in common with Cole, but I’m not going to screw him!”

She wiped her tears and sniffed. “I suppose it was exciting. We’ve been distant recently; you know we have–”

“And that gives you the right to sleep with someone else? Fucking hell, Abby, if you feel something is missing in our marriage, tell me! I would’ve done anything to make it feel exciting for you again. I would’ve done anything for you.”

Her face crumpled, and she sobbed. “I know, and I know I hurt you, but we love each other. Jasper, we can make this work. We’ll try for a baby now.”

“Don’t. You have no right throwing that at me. You honestly think I’d want a child with you when all I see when I look at your face is you and him? How sick would that be? Kids aren’t stupid; they pick up on shit like that. Jesus we’d fuck that kid up more than you’ve fucked us up.”

I couldn’t believe she’d said that. She was getting desperate, offering me the thing I wanted the most. There was no way I could have a baby in a situation like that. I didn’t want a child with her at all, not anymore.

“We’ll go to therapy and talk it through. We can fix this.”

“You’re not getting it. I don’t want to.”

She recoiled as if I’d hit her. “You don’t mean that.”

I took a deep breath as my heart ripped to shreds. “I’ll have my lawyer contact you, and I’ll pick up my stuff while you’re at work. There’s no need for us to talk to each other anymore. Goodbye, Abby.”

I slammed the door and fell to the side, hitting the wall.

The living room door opened, and Oakley rushed to my side as I slumped to the floor and cried. Before she could get anything out of me, I told her I wanted to be alone and picked myself up.

I went up to the spare room and climbed into bed, hoping I’d sleep until the morning.





Chapter Eleven


I sat in Oakley’s living room drinking my second tea – even though I wanted something stronger – and stared at a picture of me and Abby in a huge family collage photo frame on the wall. It was mine and Abby’s wedding. The picture of us made me feel sick; we looked so happy. How did we get from there to here?

I should’ve been at work, but Oakley had Marcus cover us both so she could babysit me.

“Can you call Mum and ask her for the number of the divorce lawyer she used?” I asked.

Oakley looked up. “You’re sure? You don’t need to do any of that right now. If you need time to think everything through…”

“I don’t need time.”

“Sure?” she asked.

“If Cole cheated?”

“I’d cut it off and then divorce him.” She reached over to her phone on the coffee table. “I’ll call Mum.”

I watched as Oakley called our mum, and I mouthed a refusal to speak to her on the phone. She’d probably cry, and I hated when Mum cried, I didn’t need to deal with that too right now. Oakley jotted down a number, promising Mum that she would look after me.

She blew out a sharp breath as she hung up. “You owe me one. She was almost in her car before I convinced her to give you some space.”

“Thanks. She can be intense.”

“She worries, that’s all.”

I nodded. “I know, but sometimes you need to not be okay, and I can’t do that in front of her.”

“Can you do that in front of me?” she asked.

“A bit.”

She bit her lip and turned her body to face me.

“I want you to be able to be honest with me, Jasper. You don’t have to pretend around me. I thought we were past that.”

We’d never be past that. I would always want to protect her. She was upset when I was, so how could I let it all out in front of her?

“I’m good, Oakley.”

“You just found out your wife is cheating on you. You’re not good! Don’t lie to me.”

“Fine, I’m not good. I feel sick, and I just want to...” I trailed off, gripping my hair as Abby’s betrayal pierced through my heart again, taking my breath away.

Oakley threw her arms around me. “Shh, you’re going to be okay.”

I wished I shared her optimism because right now everything I’d worked for was gone and I was going to have to start right back at the beginning.