On the Rocks(13)
“Okay,” I sighed. “I’ll come. You’re right. I have to do something.”
“I’m so happy!” Grace squealed as she clapped her hands together and wrapped her arm around my waist. “You know, even on your worst day you’re still the best. I just want you to have a little fun, remember how to laugh, be social. You have to stop punishing yourself,” she whispered as she gazed in the window of Chanel, adoring the clothes neither of us would ever be able to afford. “I think we both could use a little break from reality.”
“True.” I nodded. I really didn’t want to go, but I was tired of feeling depressed and rejected and unworthy. I wanted to feel better, and sadly, that was never going to happen if I hung around Boston and the memories the city held. I needed a change of scene, some excitement, some racy X-rated encounters with impossibly tan guys in some exotic hot spot with limitless possibilities and countless opportunities for personal growth.
Like Rhode Island.
Grace was right, getting out of my apartment and going somewhere else wasn’t a bad idea. I needed to stop cyber-stalking. I needed to stop answering Ben’s stupid, pointless texts. I needed to remember who I used to be and at least try to make some positive changes in my life before it was too late. My decision was made. Summer at the beach would be great for me. Clean air, soft ocean breezes, new friends, flip-flops, and cocktails made in blenders. If that doesn’t help a girl’s mood, well then I just don’t know what will.
Chapter 4
Khaki Folders
UGHHHHHHHH! HURRY UP, you enormous idiot!” Grace leaned on her car horn and gave the middle finger to the driver of the red convertible Mercedes in front of us. She pressed her bare foot on the gas pedal and inched up to within a hair of the Mercedes’s bumper before slamming the brakes again, causing the car to lurch forward. My seat belt locked across my chest, keeping me from having to brace myself against the windshield.
“Grace!” I screamed as I rubbed my right clavicle, where the strap had burned my skin. “Would you please calm down? It’s not like we’re going to get there any faster if you kill us!” I readjusted my seat belt and smoothed the fabric strap across my chest to keep it from wrinkling my silk shirt. I turned to stare at Grace and sighed. We had been friends for as long as I could remember, and I anxiously awaited the day when I wouldn’t envy her for her looks. Today wasn’t the day. She looked like goddamn Jessica Rabbit.
“Seriously, who the hell designed this stupid highway? What * thought it would be a good idea to narrow the entire thing down to one lane?” Grace gripped the steering wheel so tightly I thought she might tear the leather with her bare hands.
Beach traffic, in a word, is a bitch.
“What’s the big rush? The bars will still be there when we get there,” I said, smiling out the open window and breathing in the crisp air. If someone had told me a year ago that I’d be spending the summer in Rhode Island in an attempt to redefine myself and incite some kind of personal growth, I never would’ve believed them. Go figure.
“Well, aren’t you all calm and collected? I like it, you seem like you’re in a good mood.”
“I am. You were right, this beach house was a great idea.”
“I know it is. I’m more curious as to why you now think it is. I feel like I had to drag you into this, and now you’re all Zen about it?”
“Zen might be a stretch, but I am excited. I feel like this is the first positive thing I’ve done for myself in a very long time. I think this may be what I need to turn things around. At the very least, it’s a nice change of scenery and the ocean is calming. I think it will go a long way toward helping me get centered.”
“Have you been doing yoga or something?” she asked, sounding a bit suspicious.
“No, I just realized when I was packing up and leaving that little sweatbox I call an apartment that this is probably good for me, and I’m really looking forward to it.”
“I’m so proud of you! So you’re not nervous or anything? It’s been a while since you’ve been out and about.”
“Let’s not get crazy. I’m terrified. But it’s a good feeling, not sad. I like that the sadness has been replaced with something else.”
“You’re very welcome. Now if these other morons would get out of my way so we can get there before midnight, maybe I’d share your newfound calmness,” Grace said as she turned her attention back to the cars inching along in front of us and slammed her hand on the steering wheel for the second time in as many minutes. Granted, traffic is infuriating, but Grace seemed a bit too upset for that to be the only thing bothering her.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re so fired up? That steering wheel never did anything to you, you know.”
“Sorry, I’m a little jumpy. Johnny and I had a fight yesterday before I left the office,” she said.
Grace had been seeing Johnny for about nine months. They were friends who worked closely together, and after innumerable late nights and bad office take-in, their relationship had developed from friendship into love. The way Grace tells it, she became a confidante when things started to go wrong in his marriage, and somehow the lines became blurred and then obliterated entirely. They kept up the charade of being just friends for as long as they could, and then over drinks after work one night he confessed his true feelings for her. It would’ve been a great thing to have happen if he wasn’t married, and while he promised her that he was going to leave his wife, as of yet, it hadn’t happened. The stress of the constant sneaking around and the knowledge that she was dating a man who belonged to another woman had worn on Grace over time, but she loved him. And for now, the hope that he would eventually man up and make an honest woman out of her was enough to keep her hanging on.