Night Watch (Kendra Michaels #4)(40)
“By having me stumble over you every time I turn around? Go home, Lynch.”
“No, I’m staying here and keeping you safe. That goes without argument.”
“The hell it does.”
“No argument,” he repeated. “There’s no way that I’m going to let anything happen to you because I lost control tonight.” He added through set teeth, “I don’t lose control. That’s not how I run my life.”
“Or run everybody else’s life?”
“Maybe. Right now, I’m sure you choose to interpret it that way. At any rate, it’s true, and you should feel comforted that I’ve no intention of having it happen again.”
“I don’t need comfort. I need my house and my life back.”
“And you’ll get it. When it’s safe for you.”
Her hands clenched. “Lynch.”
“Ready to slug me? I wouldn’t advise it. Any close contact could lead to even closer contact.” He suddenly smiled. “And I’m sure that you’re worried where that would take us. You like to be in control, too. Those hours on the roof probably made you think twice about losing it in even the most pleasant manner. I could see how stiff and wary you were when you came into the condo tonight. Admit it. I was right.”
“I told you that you were.”
“But you didn’t come up with the right solution. You wanted to run. That wouldn’t solve anything.” He leaned back against the couch. “Here’s how it’s going to play out. You’re uneasy with anything but the status quo, so that’s what we’re going to step back to. There’s no way we’re going to be able to go all the way back, but we’ll do our damnedest. If we’re careful, we’ll only have a few episodes that could turn marginal.”
She remembered those explosive moments on the roof. “It won’t work.”
“Sure it will. Because we’re smart, and we want it to work. We spark off each other, we like each other, we respect each other, we have a good time being with each other. Neither of us wants to blow that to hell because we haven’t worked this out.” His voice was suddenly softly persuasive. “Tomorrow, when you get up, we’ll pretend tonight never happened. It didn’t, you know. Nothing irrevocable. It will be a little stilted at first, but as time goes on, we’ll fall into the rhythm. Then it will feel natural and right. Doesn’t that sound like what you really want?”
She could feel the relief pour through her. Not to have to lose Lynch, not to have to have face a massive adjustment or decision that might compromise her independence. “It sounds like a reasonable solution,” she said slowly. “But is that what you want?”
“Yes, partly. But you’d never believe me if I told you that would satisfy me. I’m an extremely selfish and horny bastard.” He smiled. “I want it all. And I’ll get it eventually, when the time is right.” He straightened. “But don’t think I’m going to be pining for you and make you uncomfortable. As I said, I have a voracious appetite. There will be other women who are less interesting, but also less complicated than you.” He added softly, “Status quo, Kendra.”
She nodded. She found she didn’t want to think of that particular aspect of status quo. “Of course, that’s reasonable. It’s not as if we— We’re both free to—” She moistened her lips. “I don’t know how this is all going to work out. I don’t know why you’d want it to.”
“Think about it. I hate to lose. I’d particularly hate to lose someone in whom I’ve invested so much time and effort. I’d lose a friend, a companion, a potential lover. It would be foolish not to make the effort.”
“I guess it would.” She found herself smiling. “And no one could ever call you a fool, Lynch.”
“Wrong. If you remember, I was calling myself that on the roof tonight.” He turned away. “Go to bed, Kendra. I have just a few more things to clear out of the bedroom. I’ll try not to make too much noise.”
“Do you want any help?”
“No, I think distance is a good idea.” He headed for the bedroom. “By tomorrow, I’ll be ready. See you in the morning.”
She hesitated, then turned and went to her bedroom and closed the door.
It hadn’t turned out as she’d thought it would when she’d come down to talk to Lynch. She had lost both control of the situation and focus the minute she’d seen him. What had she expected? He always knew what he wanted and how to go about getting it. She had always regarded that as an invaluable asset in him.
And now was she the target?
No, she would have been incredibly easy for him tonight if that was true. He was the one who had rejected her.
I want it all.
And what did Lynch consider as all?
Well, she was too tired and spent with emotion to try to guess or analyze what a complicated man like Lynch would want from her. It was time to get some sleep and forget about Lynch until she saw him in the morning.
*
EGGS. PEPPER. CHICKEN.
Kendra was aware of the odors emanating from her kitchen before she was even fully awake. It had been a restless night for her, and she wondered if Lynch had fared any better. As she tried to decide if his cooking breakfast for her was the result of more or less sleep, she caught a whiff of chili sauce.