Never Standing Still (The Never Duet #1)(43)

“I’ve never asked you to spend time away from him.”

I thought back to our times together and realized that since I’d told him about Marcus, he’d been very understanding, and even a little bit wonderful.

“Listen,” I said, pulling my body away from his, trying to get some distance from his touch. “I can talk all I want and I feel like you’re going to have an argument for every point I’m trying to make. That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t make the way I feel go away. And I feel scared.”

He looked at me, stone still, not even blinking. When he finally moved, it was his mouth saying, “There’s nothing I haven’t already said to try and convince you to be with me. I’m not going to abandon you, and I’d never hurt you. And Marcus isn’t a deal breaker for me. He’s a perk.” He continued to look at me, then shrugged. “That’s all I’ve got, Kal. I’m offering myself, any part of me that you will take.”

We were interrupted by the waitress bringing our plates to the table and another awkward silence ensued as we started to eat.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for our dinner to become so serious with heavy conversation. Can we just, I don’t know, forget the last twenty minutes for a while and talk like people who aren’t in the middle of a huge decision?” I asked, hopefully. I might be terrified of getting my heart broken by Riot, but I knew I could always talk to him. We’d had weeks of seemingly endless and fun phone conversations. Surely, we could do a dinner.

“Sure,” he said easily, a slight smile coming across his face. “What should we talk about?”

“Will you tell me about your family?”

“All right. There’s not a whole lot to tell. My mom left Lebanon when she was eighteen to study art in France where she met my father who was there backpacking the summer after he graduated from high school.” He took a pull from his beer and I made myself look away; I didn’t want him seeing me ogle him. “So, they spent four days together, and when it was time for him to leave and move on to his next stop, she went with him. They’ve been together ever since.”

“Wow, that’s really romantic,” I said wistfully.

He shrugged. “You’d think, right? But they’re just like any other married couple, I guess.”

“Do you ever visit your family in Lebanon?” I’d always admired Riot’s tanned skin and stark black hair, and now that I knew where it came from, it was even more appealing.

“Not really. I went there once when I was really young, but after my grandparents passed there wasn’t really a reason to go anymore.”

“You mentioned once you have a sister, right?”

“Yeah. Halah.”

“Wow, that’s a gorgeous name.”

Riot laughed. “My dad, who grew up mostly in the eighties, thought Riot was a perfect name for a son—you know, the optimal anarchist. But my mom drew the line in the sand when it came to her little girl. She picked a Lebanese name, and it was even a little bit on the edge of acceptable names for a girl, so my dad agreed.”

“How old is she?”

“She’s twenty-four.”

“And where is she?”

“She works on a cruise ship.”

There was never an answer to a question that surprised me more than that one. “Excuse me?” I said through a laugh.

“Yeah.” He laughed too. “A few years ago there was an article in the paper for job openings on a cruise ship. She thought it would be fun, she applied, and she’s been cruising the Caribbean ever since.”

“So, she just floats around on a cruise ship? Doing what?”

“She’s kind of like an activities director. So, people who want to do stuff on a cruise ship have her to thank. I think she teaches a lot of the physical activities on the ship. She does rock climbing, Zumba, water polo. Stuff like that. She’s a mover.”

“Sounds like it,” I laughed.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, both of us picking at our meals, the waitress bringing us both a second beer.

“So, tell me,” Riot said between bites. “What are Marcus’ plans after high school? Do you guys ever talk about how he’ll spend his time when he isn’t in school all day?”

I nod, then took a sip of my beer. “I don’t know if he fully grasps that next year he won’t be going to his school anymore, but I’m fully aware of it. Some of his teachers he’s been with for a while have suggested I let him age out of high school by letting him go for a fifth year, but I’m not sure. There are some community programs at the community college I could get him into, like art classes he could audit. Other than that, I don’t know.” I pulled my hair around to one side of my neck, just needing something to do with my hands, a little uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. Change was not something Marcus was comfortable with, so in turn, neither was I.

“I didn’t mean to stress you out,” he said thoughtfully. “Let’s change topics.” He thought for a moment, his face serious and pensive. “Would you rather… cut off your own finger with a butter knife or watch a semi-truck run over your leg slowly fifteen times?”

Despite the abhorrent visuals that ran through my mind at his words, I couldn’t help but laugh at his approach. “What in the actual hell did you just ask me?”