Never Far Away (The Never #2)(13)
“I know,” she whispered. “I just wish I could remember.” Porter took a step closer to her and placed his hand on her cheek, urging her to look up at him.
“Your confusion might go away if your memory comes back, but a lot of other stuff comes with it. Do you want to remember the robbery? Do you want to remember walking in on Kyle? Maybe there’s a reason your mind is choosing to block all of that out.”
Ella’s hand came up to rest on top of Porter’s.
“What about my memory of you? This isn’t fair to you.” Porter’s other hand came up to frame Ella’s face and he pulled her closer, their faces only inches apart.
“Don’t worry about me, Ella. I can make you love me again; I’m not worried about that. Do I wish that I could hold you right now? Do I wish I could kiss you? Yes, damn it, I do. But there’s time for that. Right now I just want you to get to know me and trust that no matter what, I will always be here for you.” He looked into her eyes, hoping that she was not only hearing what he was saying, but feeling it as well. Her hands came up to rest on his chest, pulling gently on his shirt.
“You can kiss me if you want to,” she breathed. Porter’s heart raced in his chest and he dreaded the words he knew he had to say to her.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Ella. As wonderful as it would feel to put your lips on mine, taking them away might kill me. The next time I kiss you, I want to be able to do it for hours. To make up for the weeks of kisses I’ve missed. I just don’t think we’re there yet.”
Ella dropped her forehead to lean against his chest, rested on him for a few seconds, and then stepped away from him, and turned back towards the market.
“Please don’t be angry with me,” he said to her back.
“I’m not angry, Porter. I’m disappointed and irritated. I’m tired of everyone making decisions for me. I’m tired of being treated like I’m sick and need protecting. Tell me, how long did you wait to kiss me the first time we met? Were you playing the chivalrous gentleman then, Porter? Because the last time I checked, you said we fell in love in a week. Was there no kissing? Did we sit on opposite sides of the couch? I’m not a baby and I don’t appreciate being treated like one.” She finished and he couldn’t help but smile at her, reminded of her firecracker tendencies. “What the hell is so funny, Porter?”
“Nothing. I was just remembering that you, actually, kissed me first.”
She tried to hide the shock on her face, but recovered quickly.
“Well, don’t hold your breath for that to happen again.”
Porter took a few pointed steps towards her, never removing his eyes from hers.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get your kiss,” he said playfully. “In all honesty Ella, I just don’t want to mess this up. I’ve already lost you once. I really couldn’t live through losing you again.” He watched a smile try to play on her lips, but she fought it.
“I’m not broken, Porter. Please don’t treat me any differently than you would any other woman you’d take on a date.”
“You think this is a date?” He asked with a smile and he was thankful when she smiled back.
“Well, we had a meal, and you bought me a gift. That’s pretty datey.” He reached down and linked his hand with hers. They started walking back the way they had come from.
“Ok then. It’s a date. And for the record, we have had this conversation before.”
“When?”
“The second day we knew each other. We went out for a drink and you told me that you wanted to go on a real date with me.”
“It sounds like I was pretty aggressive. I don’t usually kiss the guy first or ask them out. You must have really intrigued me,” she shot him her brilliant smile.
“I think we were both drawn to each other equally,” he said carefully, trying really hard not to allude to the fact that he remembered them being irrevocably tied to each other, both emotionally and physically.
“That’s probably the most unflattering thing I’ve ever heard someone say about me,” she laughed. “Really? ‘Equally drawn to each other’? Let’s hear it, Porter. Tell me the dark and dirty details about our weeklong tryst.” He stopped walking and pulled on her hand so that she fell into his body. He leaned down and placed his mouth on the shell of her ear.
“First of all, it wasn’t a tryst. Every moment we spent together was us building something we wanted to last a lifetime. Secondly, there was plenty of mutual gratification. We couldn’t get enough of each other and when our week together was over, it killed us both to let each other go. For the record, I know your body better than I’ve ever known anyone’s and you were pretty f*cking familiar with mine. So, don’t think for a minute that I don’t want you because every moment that I’m not touching you is torture.” He pulled away from her and saw a shocked look on her face. She cleared her throat and he saw the blush creep over her face.
“You’ve got some mouth on you, Porter.”
“We’ve had that conversation, too.”
“Oh shut up,” she said with a smile as he led her back to the market.
Once she had gotten her fill of the market, Porter walked Ella to her car, dreading the fact that he was going to be apart from her. He gave her hand a small squeeze and tried to focus on the fact that since he’d first laced his fingers with hers, neither one of them had broken their connection. Just holding her hand would have to be enough to tide him over for a while.