Nemesis(28)

“Go on,” I say softly.

“He gave me an excuse to talk to you, to get to know you. I told him you were single, and I did tell him you were going out on a dinner date one night, even though later you admitted that it wasn’t a date, you were just out with Sadie.”

“So, that’s why he showed up at dinner?” I ask, eyes going wide as saucers. “How did he know which restaurant I’d be at?”

“I don’t know,” Cohen says, looking slightly disturbed. “Fuck.”

“He had a date with him too. Did he stalk me while he had a woman with him?” I ask, voice rising. “Do you see what a psycho he is? And you call him a friend? I’m going to get a restraining order against him, seriously.”

“Probably a good idea,” he mutters. “I’ll handle him. He won’t even look in your direction again.”

“What did he do for you, Cohen?”

When he looks up at me, there’s pain etched across his face, and suddenly I wish I could take the question back.

“My ex-girlfriend was pregnant,” he says, and I suddenly feel like an insensitive bitch, because when he said it was personal, he meant it was personal.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want,” I say quickly. “I’m sorry, Cohen. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

This is the last thing I thought it would be about though. I thought maybe Dan lied for him, took one for the team or something, I don’t know. I didn’t think it would be a story that started out like that. Maybe Dan was her doctor. He said she was pregnant, so maybe she lost the baby?

Fuck.

I feel terrible.

I melt into him and wrap my arms around him, other shit forgotten. I don’t want to see him upset, or hurt, or living the past again. He was a dick, no doubt, and only spoke to me because of Dan, but then he went against Dan’s wishes to be with me, and he wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t grown on him in some way.

I’m like a fungus.

I grew on him, and then he wanted me, so he took me, Dan be damned.

“It’s okay,” he says, pulling me onto his lap. “She was pregnant, but then she told me that she lost the baby.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, resting my face on his chest. “Was Dan her doctor?”

“He wasn’t her doctor, no,” he answers, taking a deep breath. “I heard something. Her sister told me that she didn’t lose the baby, but that she got rid of it when I didn’t propose after she told me she was pregnant. She thought the baby meant her getting a ring on her finger, and then when I didn’t…”

My jaw drops open.

No wonder he has f*cking trust issues.

“So I got Dan to call up, using his position to find out what happened. He pretended to be her GP to get the information. Apparently, it was true, she did have an abortion.”

Fuck.

What a f*cking bitch.





Chapter Fifteen


“I’m sorry,” I mumble again, knowing it’s nowhere near enough but unable to come up with the words. I’m so awkward in these situations. I want to make things better but don’t know how, so I just tighten my hold on him, silently letting him know that I’m here for him.

“It’s fine, Jacinta,” he rumbles, running his hands down my back. “I just don’t talk about it. To anyone, okay? So that’s what Dan did for me. And when he asked me for such a small favour in return, to just be around you, how could I have said no? And I’m glad that I didn’t, because then I never would have gotten to know you.”

Does everything happen for a reason?

I don’t like what Cohen did and it pisses me off, a lot, but I can see his side of it. No one can call me unreasonable. I just don’t know what to do now. It’s like something has shifted between us, and I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing.

“I’m sorry too,” he says, pushing my hair back behind my ear. “I don’t want you to think that I didn’t notice you before Dan asked that of me, because I always have. I just didn’t want to f*ck up your life. I still don’t, but after I started being around you, I just wanted more, and more, and then it was too late to turn back. I know it’s selfish of me, and if I was a better man I’d leave you the f*ck alone, but apparently I’m not.”

“Is it bad that I’m glad you’re not?” I tease, lightening the mood. “It’s okay, Cohen. I just wish that you’d told me, so I didn’t have to hear it from a man I can’t stand.”

“Yes, I know. I made a mistake,” he says, lifting my chin with his fingers. “Can you forgive me?”

“Consider it forgiven,” I tell him, kissing his lips once.

*****

When does sex become lovemaking? After you fall in love, or after you acknowledge it and say ‘I love you’? Do the words have to be spoken out loud to mean anything? As I lie in bed wrapped in Cohen’s arms, I wonder if we just made love. It felt like it, but I’d be stupid to think anything of it. The very last thing I need is false hope. Cohen always looks into my eyes, and holds me tenderly. He sometimes kisses my forehead too, but tonight, there was something else between us. Almost like our emotional connection was stronger. Maybe it’s because his guards aren’t up as high anymore? That must be it.