Nemesis(27)

I ignore the bad feeling in my stomach, the pain in my chest. So Cohen didn’t just start talking to me because he ‘couldn’t stay away anymore’ or whatever lie he said; it was because Dan asked him to befriend me, so he could keep an eye on what I’m up to. Basically, Cohen was meant to spy on me. Dan is a creep, so that doesn’t surprise me, although I am f*cking disturbed by it, but what I really want to know is why Cohen went along with it. Dan said he did Cohen a favour—is this his repayment? I’m just a f*cking pawn to these men, and it really hurts me that Cohen only spoke to me because he had to. It f*cking pisses me off too. I should have known—when something seems too good, it usually is.

“Is that why you gave me that whole ‘no commitment’ shit, because this is all some f*cked-up game to you?” I ask Cohen, trying to school my expression.

Dan laughs, and it’s a dark, hollow sound. “You don’t know what Cohen is like with women? I thought you’d be smarter than this, Jacinta. You left me because I cheated, but Cohen here is the biggest man-whore out there. He doesn’t give a f*ck about women. Or apparently about his friends either. So, f*ck both of you.”

He storms out, like he’s the one wronged here. Like he isn’t a stalking psychopath, leaving Cohen and me alone in the room.

“This is f*cked” is all I can manage to say.

“He asked me to keep an eye on you, to see if you were dating anyone,” he says, swallowing. “Everything between us is real, Jacinta. I did notice you from the very start; everything I said to you is true. I owed Dan a favour and he called it in. It seemed harmless and I couldn’t say no, not after what he did for me. I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone would get hurt from it. Dan may come off a little… strong, but he’s innocent. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’d kill him if he even tried.”

Well, isn’t he the hero all of a sudden.

“Makes sense why you came and sat with me at lunch all of a sudden,” I say, hugging myself. “Wow, Cohen. I didn’t see this one coming, that’s for sure. What did Dan do for you?”

Cohen stays silent, his jaw going tight.

I stare at him, and he stares at me.

It’s he who looks away first.

I realise then that he isn’t going to tell me.

This whole thing, which feels like juvenile shit, concerns me, and he isn’t even going to explain it to me.

He’d rather lose me than trust me.

If that isn’t a kick in the shins, I don’t know what is.

I nod in understanding and walk out of his office, closing the door behind me. I’m in a completely different mood than I was in when I walked into his office.

I don’t know what to think anymore.

I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m curious.

What other secrets is he hiding?

*****

He tries to talk to me throughout the rest of the day, but I ignore all attempts. I even leave early, before he can catch me. On the drive home, I stop and grab some groceries, thinking that cooking something fancy will help me stay busy and keep my mind off things tonight. Save me from picking up the phone and calling him. Maybe he’ll drop by, maybe he won’t, but there’s no point in him coming if he doesn’t want to talk about everything. I can’t stand Dan, and it annoys me that the two of them are friends. Maybe they hang around the same uptight crowd? A doctor and a lawyer walk into a bar… It sounds like the start of a bad joke.

When I pull into my driveway and see him already there, annoyance flashes through me. I don’t know why. Maybe I want a little time alone. I open my car door, and he quickly steps up to help me carry the groceries inside.

“What are you doing here, Cohen?” I ask, feeling a little tired all of a sudden. “Unless you want to tell me everything, we don’t have anything else to talk about.”

“It’s personal, Jacinta,” he says, walking inside behind me, arms full of bags. “I’ll tell you, but you need to understand that this isn’t easy for me.”

“Okay,” I agree, starting to put away all the groceries.

“Can I help?”

“No, you sit down,” I say, methodically unpacking. “And start talking.”

He sits down, but doesn’t look too happy about it. I couldn’t care less though; I just want an explanation.

“Dan and I have known each other for a while,” he starts, undoing the top buttons on his shirt, like he’s feeling constricted all of a sudden. “We’re not close, we just know some of the same people. We’ve spend some time hanging out. We go to the same parties.”

“And?”

“And,” he continues, swallowing loudly, “I needed a favour. He did it for me. Then, a year later, he asked for one back. He asked me to keep an eye on you, and to find out if you’re dating anyone. He wanted you back.”

“Like that’s going to happen,” I grumble, closing the fridge and coming to stand in front of him.

“I’ve always thought that you’re beautiful, Jacinta. Mesmerising. Magical. You have something about you. I stayed away because I was trying to be a good man, and a good man doesn’t take a good woman, unless he has the intention of loving her. You don’t play around with a woman like that. You don’t see a strong, beautiful woman and think, ‘Oh, I’m going to f*ck with that.’ At least, I don’t.”