My Blood Approves (My Blood Approves #1)(72)

“But there is a very heavy price with that,” Ezra continued gravely. “Everything around you will die. Even this town, it will change, and things you loved and held dear will be destroyed. You will outlast everything. There is more of a burden in that than you can possibly imagine.”

“Does that mean that I can’t see my brother? Or just that it will be painful watching him grow old?” My voice felt small and shaky, and my hands trembled.

Ezra shared a look with Mae, who nodded, and then she stood up, saying, “I have to show you something.”

“You’re gonna take her?” Jack groaned and got up. “She doesn’t need to see it.”

“You’re just saying that because you think she’ll change her mind,” Mae told Jack.

“Uh, yeah!”

“If it would change her mind, then it should!” Mae snapped. “If she doesn’t have all the facts because you kept them from her, and she makes a decision that she later regrets, then she’ll spend the rest of eternity resenting you. Is that really what you want?”

“No,” Jack muttered and rubbed the back of his neck.

“What’s going on?” I asked nervously, standing up.

“I’m going to take you to see something,” Mae forced a smile at me. Then she turned back to Ezra and kissed him. “We won’t be gone too long.”

“Okay. Be safe.” Ezra looked sad to so her go, but he smiled reassuringly at me. “It’ll be alright.”

“What’s going on?” I asked Jack, feeling strangely frightened as I followed Mae out of the living room.

“I guess you gotta go,” Jack sighed and sat back down. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Where are we going?” I was right behind Mae, but I could see the drawn look on her face, and I was afraid of where we were going that would cause her to look so pained.

“I’ll explain in the car.”





- 20 -

By the time I got into her Jetta, nervous anticipation filled me. Whatever she wanted to show me could scare me off becoming a vampire. I half-expected some horrifying monster or a stash of human corpses or something equally disturbing. What else could there be that would completely change mind about turning?

The soft music of Nina Simone playing out of the car stereo did little to make me feel good, and I stared apprehensively at Mae, who in turn, stared straight ahead, looking rather tragic.

“I was born in Reading, England in 1928,” Mae explained in a voice so sad, it barely sounded like her. “When I was very young, the second World War broke out. Towards the end, American soldiers were stationed all over England. Philip was the most dashing young man I had ever met.” She smiled lightly at that, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Despite my best attempts at being virtuous, I ended up pregnant at sixteen, and Philip was an upstanding man, so we were wed. My first child, a son I named Samuel, was born while he was still fighting in the war.

“Samuel was five months old when Philip finished his tour of duty, and we moved to the US, to a small flat in St. Paul, where Philip and his family were from,” Mae continued. “The first few months we lived here were truly wonderful. Then, one night, three weeks before Samuel’s first birthday, I went in to check on him, and he wasn’t breathing.” A solitary tear slid down her cheek, but she chose to ignore it.

“The pain never gets easier. Don’t listen to what anyone tells you. Losing a child is… an impossible loss.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, unsure of what else to say.

“Everybody kept saying, ‘At least you’re young enough to try again.’” Mae smiled bitterly at the memory and glanced over to me. “But I didn’t want to try again.

“After Samuel died, I spent months curled up in bed. My family, everything I had known and loved, was a million miles away, and my husband, as much as he did love me, was very young himself and he was busy trying to work and start a life for us…” She had a faraway expression for a moment, but then she remembered I was there and snapped herself out of it.

“I was just a little older than you, so you can imagine what it would be like,” Mae looked at me warmly, but I sensed an uneasy warning underneath her gaze. “I understand the excitement of being offered a whole new life with an attractive stranger. But you isolate yourself from everything you know.”

“I don’t feel isolated,” I offered lamely.

I tried to understand her reasoning for telling me the story. My guesses were leaning towards Samuel’s headstone, and she wanted explain the immeasurable the loss a person goes through when they out live everything around them.

But she would’ve outlived her baby whether she was a vampire or not. It had nothing to do with the choices she made.

“Nevertheless.” Mae stared straight ahead, her knuckles turning white from the way she gripped the steering wheel. “Philip, bless his heart, stayed by my side, when a lesser man might’ve shipped me back home for my parents to deal with.

“Eventually, I managed to pull myself out of the depression and go on with my life. I got a job at a deli to keep myself busy and made a few friends. And one day, I decided it was time to start trying for a family again.

“Being pregnant was the most miraculous thing that ever happened to me. To feel this little life growing inside me…” She looked rather blissful, but her gaze got harder when she turned to me. “That’s something you’ll be giving up, you know. Vampires can’t get pregnant. They don’t have children. You will never have a family if you choose this life.”