Master No (Masters and Mercenaries, #9)(108)

“Come to bed with me.”

A low chuckle accompanied his movement. In the shadows, she watched him struggle to his feet. “You’ve never been safer from a man’s advances than tonight, darlin’. I’m a little worried your father gave me an electrical vasectomy. Can they do that?”

She gasped. She’d told him to take off his pants, but he’d seemed fine. “I need to look at you.”

He huffed a little as he maneuvered them to the bed. “No, you do not. I’m hoping it was like the rest of what he did. Better than it seemed. It was the drugs that made the pain worse. I want to sleep, Faith. I want to hold you. Can you let me do that?”

She shouldn’t. He was going to leave her and no amount of anger would mask the heartache she would feel the last time she looked at him. Still, she needed his comfort, needed to give him some as well.

She curled against his body, looking for a spot that wouldn’t hurt, but he merely dragged her close. He wrapped her arm around his torso.

“I want to feel you, Faith. I don’t care about the pain. I want to know you’re here with me.”

She put her head on his chest and listened to the sound of his heart. Strong. Steady. Alive. No matter what her father had put him through, he was still with her.

It was enough for now.





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN



Faith stepped out into the hallway, her eyes adjusting to the dark. It was long past time for dawn, but there was only a dim light illuminating the walkway. She couldn’t sleep. She’d left Tennessee, pulling away with reluctance, but she was so thirsty. There had been no little cups in the bathroom, but she’d seen bottles of water in the fridge earlier. She would slip away and grab one before Ten knew she was gone. He needed his rest after what he’d been through. He had more scars now, his body proving to be a map of the man.

She’d lain in his arms for hours, comforted by his nearness.

What was she thinking? He’d lied to her, used her, and she couldn’t work up the will to hate him. Not after tonight. Not after everything they’d been through.

She knew how precious life was, held it in her hands time and time again, but it was different when it was someone she cared about. Theo had been her friend. She couldn’t think of him as anything less. The way they met no longer mattered. Theo was gone and she would miss him.

When Ten was gone, she would mourn him. Likely she would mourn him to her dying day.

How long would it be before she tried again? She walked toward the kitchen, the problem on her mind. Would she try to find another lover while she knew Ten was still in the world? It was only a matter of time before some job he took put him in a dangerous position. She couldn’t imagine that Ten would live to see old age. He was careful, but he placed himself in mortal danger again and again. At some point he would lose.

She wouldn’t even know he was gone. Likely no one would tell her. She would simply spend the rest of her life wondering where he was and if anyone was taking care of him. She would continue with her work, the years going by in a blur of service.

Did she want to live her life that way? When she really thought about it, was honest with herself, she’d gotten into this type of medicine because she knew she could never compete with Hope’s brilliance. Her sister was a master surgeon and when she’d decided to put her mind to research, there apparently wasn’t anything she couldn’t tackle. Oh, she was evil as f*ck, but so smart Faith had always been in her shadow. Her father had been a larger than life figure, one of those people who moved the world strictly on his say so.

Faith had wanted something of her own and she’d found it in the far reaches of the world. She’d told herself it was enough, but there was a restlessness that had begun the minute she’d laid eyes on Ten Smith.

Was she going to let him go? It was really up to her. Yes, he was the Dom, but this went past play and into real life. This was their relationship, and he had no idea how to have one. She was the mentor in this case and she was allowing emotion and pain to inform her decisions.

She’d been angry, and anger was really good at clouding judgment.

She’d made the one mistake she’d promised she wouldn’t. She’d reacted instead of acting. She’d allowed the actions of someone else to change who she was—who she wanted to be.

Tennessee didn’t understand what it meant to have a relationship because he’d never had one. Life trained a person and Ten’s training had taught him that he was expendable, that unless he was bringing something important to the table, he had no place there.

There was a crack of lightning and a ghostly figure was illuminated. Faith gasped and took a step back before she realized who it was.

Erin. She was standing in front of the big bay windows in the den. They were supposed to be shuttered, but one had come open and Erin was looking out over the ocean, the sky cracking around it.

“She blew out the candles,” a low voice said.

Faith turned to her right and saw Hutch sitting at a table, his laptop off for once. He was sitting there in the dark keeping watch. “She hasn’t slept?”

It had been almost ten hours since they’d lost Theo. The storm was calming, though there was still plenty of thunder and lighting. They wouldn’t leave for Dallas until they had the cover of night. They should all be resting and trying to recuperate.