Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(33)



“Sarah’s told me about your troubles.”

I shook my head, feeling completely embarrassed. “I’m not a terrible person. There’s a logical explanation for why I had to leave.”

He laughed and looked down at his feet. “Katy, you’re a nice girl. I don’t expect anything from you in return. Any friend of Sarah’s is a friend of mine.”

I reached out my hand, offering a thank you in a professional manner. He shook it and smiled. “Thank you, Bobby. I will pay you back, I promise.”

He tipped his hat and watched me walking up the two steps to my front door. “Have a good night, Katy.”

When I walked inside I felt happy, like things were turning up for me. I was making friends and feeling comfortable with everything that was happening in my life. Sure, I could have been in my last semester of college, getting my degree, but that would have required me to face the Valentines. I wasn’t ready for it and I didn’t know if I ever would be.

The next month brought many gifts, like Bobby fixing my car, getting promoted to night shift manager at the restaurant and even being asked to assist with Sunday school at the local church. I’d never been one to be involved, but was raised Christian. In the few short weeks I’d been living in South Carolina, I’d attended church weekly. Sarah was the reason and she was happy to have someone to sit with during service, since her daddy was the preacher and her mother played the organ.

By February we had a standing night of cards, where Bobby and I would go over to Sarah and Dave’s. We played a game called pinochle. It was hard to get used to, but after the first couple of times, I felt like I was an expert.

Aside from my new friends, I’d met plenty of people from the restaurant and church. It was nice to drive into the town, in my newly repaired car, and have people greeting me by name. I’d never lived in a place so small, and appreciated the importance of it.

Halfway through that month, I came down with a stomach bug. It was weird because nobody around me was sick. I couldn’t keep anything down and felt exhausted.

A week passed and then another. On March first, after still not getting any better, Sarah and I both knew something was wrong with me. I didn’t want to spend the money, but she took me to the hospital anyway.

They drew blood and did a full work-up to see why I couldn’t keep anything down. I’d also discovered that I’d lost fifteen pounds in two short months. My reflection was almost hard to recognize and I was ashamed that I’d let myself get into such poor health.

With Sarah sitting next to me, the doctor came back into the room nearly an hour later. “Do you want the good news or the bad?”

“Both?” All I needed to hear was that I was dying. My pathetic existence was ending because I’d eaten a bad batch of tuna or something ridiculous like that.

“The bad news is that you’re probably not going to get better for a while.”

“What’s wrong with her? Is it treatable?” Sarah was as concerned as I was.

“Your friend here is pregnant. She’s sufferin’ from a bad case of first trimester sickness. It happens from time to time. There’s a couple things she can eat and drink that can help alleviate it.”

“Whoa!” I sat up and looked right at him. “Did you just say I’m pregnant?”

He smiled. “I’ve been doin’ this for thirty-seven years. I think I know what I’m talkin’ about.”

I put my hands over my face, unable to speak. “How far along am I? Can you tell?”

“I’ll have to schedule you for a sonogram before we can diagnose something like that. Do you know when your last menstrual cycle was?”

I tried to think back to when I’d had my last period. I knew it was a couple weeks before my wedding date, because Branch was trying to get some until he found out I was bleeding. Then we got busy with the wedding. “December fourth, maybe. It was somewhere around that time.”



“Just based on that I would say you got pregnant somewhere around the nineteenth to the twenty-fifth of the month maybe a little later. Does that sound about right to you? The normal ovulation cycle is usually around fourteen days after your menstrual cycle starts.”

I began to cry, so uncontrolled that a nurse came in to see what was the matter. The doctor dealt with a couple other patients and came back in with all sorts of paperwork and different options.

I flipped out after looking down at one of them and seeing something on being pro-choice. It went on to say that abortion was a legal option.

I threw the pamphlet at him and said words that I knew I shouldn’t have. By the time that they’d gotten me calmed down enough to walk to the car, Sarah was practically in tears with me. I’d embarrassed her and I was so sorry for it.

None of them could understand the complexity of the situation. They could never understand how important this pregnancy was to me. I couldn’t kill something that belonged to him. I couldn’t ever fathom that as being an option.

She closed the door on the driver’s side and handed me a prescription written out for prenatal vitamins. “You didn’t have to be mean to him. He was just doin’ his job.”

“I’m sorry. It’s not like you were happy about that flyer.”

“I would never have an abortion, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that everyone around feels the same way I do. I respect your decision, no matter what it is.”

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