Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(95)
“You’re right. That’s why I did what I did. It’s why I told you he didn’t want you and it’s why I told him to back off. I knew he’d listen because he always cared about everyone else. Once I had you I knew he wouldn’t want my sloppy seconds.”
Her next statement shocked me. I couldn’t believe she was being so bold. “That’s where you’re wrong, Branch. I bet you didn’t know he lost his virginity to me in that room right across the hall. You see, on the anniversary of when my parents died, I thought it was you that would come into my room and comfort me. I thought it was you holding me because that’s what a boyfriend was supposed to do. Little did I know that it was Brooks. He made love to me only days after our first time together, and then on the same day the next year. Both times it wasn’t like anything I’d ever felt before.”
He’d read my letter. Her statement wasn’t a secret, but her knowing was. “What? You knew?”
“No. I didn’t know at first. We were together twice, and he never told me. I can’t blame him. Though, at first, I wanted to kill him.”
“God, I can’t believe this.”
“I couldn’t believe it either. More than that, I couldn’t believe that the man I was planning on marrying had conned me into loving him. Did you really think that I’d be happy and that Brooks would never tell me the truth?”
“He gave me his word that I could have you.” That’s not entirely true. It wasn’t like he was making it out to be.
“He told me no that night. That night at the hotel, you were so drunk. You said some horrible things and Brooks just wanted me to feel better. He found me on the roof crying, and everything happened so fast. I know you could never understand and that you’ll probably hate me forever, but I’ve never felt something so powerful as when I’m close to him. It doesn’t matter how long we’re apart, or what’s standing in our way, it’s always there. Branch, I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I left because I couldn’t face you that next morning. I couldn’t look you in the eyes and tell you that I was in love with your brother. I felt so ashamed. The thing is, you knew it all along. You’d been keeping us apart because you knew what we had, didn’t you? Do you have any idea what I’ve gone through because of all of this? I ran away from the only family I have left. I had a child that I couldn’t tell anyone about, because I thought they all hated me, including your brother. I moved to a town with nothing but the clothes in my suitcase. You could have prevented all of this. Brooks didn’t have to miss the birth of his daughter.”
I was ready to walk away. There wasn’t anything Kat could say that I didn’t already know. Plus I didn’t want her coming out and seeing me standing there.
“How did you know she was his?”
“I did the math, and the doctors gave me a three day window of when I conceived. Then we learned you were sterile, which by the way, thanks for that. Another lie that you went along with to get me to marry you.”
“Okay. I get the damn point. I was a shitty brother and a lying boyfriend. It doesn’t change that fact that you were only with me because you thought he didn’t want you. I was your f*cking consolation prize, so yeah, I lied. I didn’t want either of you to be happy, so I did what I had to do. I gave you everything you wanted, and you still ran to him. All you had to do was be faithful for one night and you couldn’t. You had to be with him. Let me know something, Katy. Would you have still married me if I hadn’t caught you with him?”
Her answer, that probably hurt him, made me so happy. “No. I think I knew I wasn’t going to marry you the moment he walked through the door. Branch, if you ever loved me, in any way, you’d know that I wasn’t with Brooks because I wanted to hurt you. I was with Brooks because I couldn’t stop myself. Every bone in my body calls for him. When he touches me it’s electric. We both loved you and it was the only reason that I walked away from you and from him.”
It was clear my brother was getting upset. His voice had changed, and his answers were taking longer. “I did love you, Katy. It wasn’t the right kind of love, but it was real. I can’t live like this anymore. I’ve got a good life and Melissa’s a great woman. I love her, and I know we’ll be happy. She’s okay with having to adopt and I don’t keep secrets from her. Except for one.”
“One?”
“For so long I’ve told her that I hated you. I wanted you to be miserable and poor. Then I saw your daughter, and I realized what I’d taken from you. You don’t have to remind me of what I did. Knowing that I can’t have children has been difficult for me to come to grips with. Seeing that Brooks had a child is when it really hit me. You’re right, Katy. I kept you apart, and it’s my fault you ran away from Brooks. I’m sorry he wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry none of us were, because family is supposed to stick together, no matter what. It’s time I admit it out loud. I want you to be happy with my brother, because he’s loved you for as long as I can remember and I’m sorry for keeping you apart. I suppose I deserved to hear about him sneaking in your room. He always was your hero.”
She laughed. “He still is. I thought he’d hate me for keeping my pregnancy from him, but he didn’t.”
My brother’s next words allowed me to walk away. We were all going to be okay now. There was nothing left to worry about.