Keep Quiet(61)

“Yes, he does.” Pam ignored him, still glaring at Ryan. “He deserves that and more. You don’t know what he’s done.”

Jake shuddered inwardly. He went over and put his hand on his son’s shoulder, to steady him. “Pam, whatever it is, yelling at him won’t help. Why don’t you talk to him and we’ll sort it out in a civilized fashion, instead of screaming questions at him?”

Pam folded her arms, pursing her lips tightly. Suddenly she became very still, searching Ryan with her eyes and not saying anything. The room fell abruptly silent, except for the dog’s excited panting. Jake told himself to stay calm while Ryan glanced up at his mother, then looked down, hanging his head. Somehow the ferocity of Pam’s angry, loving gaze seemed to break Ryan down, and his strong shoulders slumped. His hands fell to his sides, and Moose nudged his nose under Ryan’s palm, which was the dog’s favorite bid for attention.

“Pam,” Jake said, trying to get control of the situation. “Why don’t you tell us what’s on your mind, and Ryan can respond?”

“No,” Pam answered, almost sadly. She kept her eyes on Ryan’s bowed head and folded her arms in the bunchy trenchcoat. “I don’t want to tell Ryan what I know. I want Ryan to tell me what he and Caleb were doing, because I want to find out if I raised a liar.”

“Pam.” Jake was still trying to defuse the situation. “He’s already told you the truth. He admitted he cut class and hung out with Caleb.”

“Ryan?” Pam looked down at Ryan, still ignoring Moose on the bed. “Did I raise a liar?”

Jake swallowed hard. “Pam, don’t call him a name. You know we’re not supposed to do that.”

“Oh, Jake, shut up. You hate that crap as much as I do.” Pam returned her attention to Ryan, who had hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees, in collapse. “Ryan, did I raise a liar?”

“Yes,” Ryan whispered, almost inaudibly, without looking up. “It’s not your fault, but I am a liar.”

Jake felt his heart break, rubbing his son’s back. He didn’t want Ryan to think of himself as a liar. “Buddy, that’s not true.”

“Yes, it is, Dad.”

“No, no that’s not true.” Jake squeezed Ryan hard, avoiding Pam’s gaze. He could feel his son shaking just the slightest, as if the truth had a pressure of its own and was trying to force its way out of his very body. Jake couldn’t let that happen, because if Ryan spilled his guts now, Pam would make them go to the cops for sure. It would ruin them all. Suddenly, he got another idea. “Ryan, why don’t you tell your mother what you told me, that you and Caleb were smoking during class.” Jake looked up at Pam, whose lovely features were fixed so grimly that they could have been etched in marble. “Pam, Ryan told me the truth. So if that’s what you’re talking about, you didn’t raise a liar.”

“Really.” Pam heaved a quiet sigh, and her blue-eyed gaze shifted from Jake to Ryan and back again. “So he told you the truth.”

Jake nodded, relieved. “He told me everything. He told me that he’s never going to smoke again, and he knows it’s bad for him and illegal.”

Pam sucked in her cheeks, unplacated. “Was he going to tell me?”

“We both decided it might put you in an awkward position, being a judge. It’s enough that he told me, isn’t it?” Jake didn’t press his luck. “How did you find out?”

“Dr. Dave told me that he suspected it today at practice.” Pam kept her eyes on Ryan, even though all she could see was his crown. “So I called Caleb’s mother. She found marijuana in his drawer, a fair amount of it. It turns out he’s been selling it, too.”

“That’s terrible,” Jake said, keeping his arm on Ryan, who was still trembling.

“Ryan?” Pam asked, her tone gentler. “I was so disappointed to think that you would do something unlawful, not to mention stupid. I don’t care if everybody else does it, I disapprove completely of smoking marijuana. I told you already, everybody I know who smoked dope in college just got dumber and dumber. And that’s only the ones that didn’t go on to worse drugs.”

Jake didn’t interrupt her, because he could see that they had dodged a bullet. He kept his arm around Ryan, praying that the trembling would subside.

“Ryan, I know you feel stressed and bad about what happened at the game, but your reaction to negative emotion can’t be to reach for a drug. Or alcohol. Or anything else. Do you understand?”

Ryan didn’t answer or even move, except to tremble.

“Ryan?” Pam paused. “I hope you don’t need me to tell you what could happen if any of the coaches from these college programs found out that you were smoking, especially during school hours. Division I is too competitive, and they want players who not only make an impact, but who are assets to the program.”

Jake kept his mouth shut, but all this talk of impact players made him sick to his stomach.

“If you get a bad reputation with these recruiters, you can jeopardize not only any scholarship possibility, but your entire future. I don’t mean to sound like that D.A.R.E. program in elementary school, but it’s true, and they never should have discontinued it. The choices you make now have huge implications for the rest of your life—”