Just One Taste (Topped #2)(23)

She hadn’t seen that coming. He was so open. She’d expected he hadn’t been hurt before. “What happened?”

“Oh, years away in the Navy happened. We changed and we weren’t together when we changed, so I came home to a different woman than the one I married. She married a kid who liked sports and sneaking beers and I came home angry and scared.”

“Of war?”

“Of how much I liked it. Not the killing. I liked the camaraderie. I liked being important. I was good at it. I was so good at it I went Special Forces. She thought she’d married a kid who was in the Navy to get his college degree paid for and she found herself married to a SEAL.”

She didn’t understand how that had caused a rift. “That doesn’t sound so bad. You were serving your country.”

“Like you said, sweetheart, you haven’t lived it. We married young and we both had to move on. I wish she hadn’t moved on while I was on active duty, but I understand.”

“She cheated on you while you were fighting?” Who the hell did that? Outrage rose in her gut. He’d been risking his life.

“Well, it wasn’t like she knew how to get hold of me,” he said with a soft laugh, as though the incident was amusing. “My whereabouts were classified and I would go months sometimes without talking to her. She was lonely and she turned to someone else.”

“You didn’t.” Eric Vail wouldn’t cheat on his wife.

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Why do you say that?”

“Because you’re not that guy.”

“No, sweetheart. I’m not that guy. I was faithful to my wife. I’m friendly with her now. She’s married again and has a couple of kids.”

“How can you still talk to her?” She wouldn’t talk to her ex for anything.

“Because we were friends before we were anything else. I’ve learned life is far too short to hold grudges. It’s too short to not forgive yourself.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Didn’t I? There are two sides to every story. I didn’t come home when I said I would. Once I forgave myself for making the mistake, I found it was quite easy to forgive her for doing the same. I left the service after one too many bullets hit me and I found something I really loved.”

“Cooking.”

“Yeah. It’s funny because I wouldn’t have found it if May hadn’t left me and I hadn’t been forced to move back to my folks’ place after I got home. My mom was crazy about cooking shows and she challenged me to try it. I indulged her, and a few months later, I was at a cooking school with all these tiny young people. They were infants. Most of them thought I was the janitor the first day. Or maybe security. I thought a lot about my sister while I was there. She was older than me and she loved to bake. She was always making cookies.”

He said it with a sad smile that made her wonder. “Is she a chef, too?”

“She died when I was sixteen. Leukemia. I took that cooking challenge from my mother because I knew she missed my sister and wanted a child of hers in the kitchen with her again. Even if it was only for a day. I cook with my mom any time I’m home, and let me tell you I might be the pro, but I’m her sous chef, too. She rules that kitchen with an iron will any chef would be proud of. If I hadn’t gone into the Navy, hadn’t gotten married and divorced, I wouldn’t have been sitting with her that day. I wouldn’t have laughed and said it looked easy. I wouldn’t have found my passion. Those things that seemed like mistakes led me to something I love. So I forgave myself and moved on.”

How hard had it been for him to go from soldier to chef? From married to single and happy? He seemed so happy, she’d imagined he never faced a single moment of pain. That was arrogant of her. He was a man, and every single man born had been through pain. She needed to stop thinking of him in terms of how gorgeous he was and see past that.

The trouble was everything she learned about the man made him that much more dangerous.

He was stronger than she was. She couldn’t forgive her ex. She simply couldn’t. The wound felt so fresh. Perhaps after she’d started her own career and moved on, she could forget about the pain he’d dealt her. She wasn’t sure she would ever take that risk again. But maybe she could be friends with Eric. Real friends.

They were stuck together for six weeks. She glanced back down at the contract. Part of the contract stated plainly that both parties agreed to touching and displays of affection. She hadn’t marked that out. She’d agreed to allowing him to touch her if it felt right and good to both parties.

She reached out and put her hand over his. “I’m sorry to hear about your sister.”

He flipped his hand over, lacing their fingers together. His big palm swallowed and warmed hers. “I miss her. You would have liked her.”

Oh, she already liked one of the Vail siblings way too much. His hand wrapped around hers, their fingers all tangled. She liked that too much as well. It felt…right. “I’m sure I would. I don’t have any siblings. I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister.”

He started talking about his family and she couldn’t help but watch the way his face lit up. He always seemed so serious, but there was a mirth, a mischievousness that she hadn’t seen in him before. He told her how he and his sister would fish in the pond behind their house, how she’d had to bait his hook because he couldn’t stand touching the worms.