Just One Taste (Topped #2)(18)

“You’re twisting my words.” She didn’t like the way it sounded when Taggart said it. She thought of it as fun and carefree, but he was right that she was afraid of the emotional aspect of sex. It was all so confusing.

“Am I? Or do you simply not know what you want? Look, I’ve read your file. You went through a shitty divorce and you’ve decided no one is ever going to do you wrong again. You won’t accept a relationship where you could get hurt. But I’m asking you if you intend to go through the rest of your life without ever trying. And what’s next? Because I’ve found that when you cut yourself off from one form of relationship, you get harder on the others. So when a friend fails you next, will you cut all of them off? Because if those are your intentions, skip the Sanctum membership and start collecting cats.”

He was starting to make her mad. Though she’d signed on as a sub, she wasn’t willing to simply keep her mouth shut. “You don’t have to be so harsh. If you don’t want me in your club, I don’t have to be there.”

“I’ve got room in my life for one stubborn bitch right now and it’s not you. I selected you because Sean thought Sanctum would be good for you. I thought it would be good for you. Kai thinks you need it to find yourself. But it doesn’t sound like you want to find yourself. It sounds like you’re trying to hide from the world. Do it on someone else’s time. I just lost my brother. He doesn’t get the chance to find himself. I’m spending my days marking grid patterns so I can pay a group to search the f*cking ocean for his body. You don’t want to allow a damn decent man to train with you, fine.” He stood and sighed. “Damn it. Now you’re really crying.”

“I tend to do that when people are mean to me.” She wished she could be cool and calm like other people, but her natural reaction was to tear up. It was something her ex-husband had complained about. Why do you have to be so emotional, Deena? Can’t you ever be logical?

It was why she never let herself cry anymore. Last night had done a number on her. Being spanked by Eric seemed to have opened something up inside her that would better be left locked away.

Taggart moved across the room toward her, that bleak visage lightening marginally. He stood in front of her, big hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Deena. I’m under a lot of pressure and you’re not a fair target. Give it a chance with Eric. No one else in the group was right for you. He’ll be patient and understanding.”

“And what if I give in?”

“I’m going to say something to you that I say to everyone who has this problem. Don’t sleep with him. It’s very simple. Go into this experience with an open mind and locked knees. You should be fine. Though you should know a good Dom can get through those locked knees. And please forgive me for being unkind. I am many things, but I hope I’m not that. Losing my brother has been hard on my sense of humor.”

She sniffled and wiped her tears. She’d never had a brother. She was an only child and now it seemed she was intent on isolating herself further. The idea that she was being hard on the people around her might not be so wrong. Walls could protect but they could also keep out good things. “I’m sorry I’m being so inflexible. And I put a slice of lemon cheesecake in your box, but I think you should eat the salad because I’ve met your wife and she scares me more than you do.”

Taggart laughed and she was happy she could put a smile on the man’s face. He walked back to his desk and sat down again. “I will eat my jerk chicken salad and then share my cheesecake with a couple of babes. I mean that literally. My twins are madly in love with solid food. I can’t tell you what that does to a diaper.”

She didn’t want to know. She couldn’t handle a pet much less a kid.

Maybe she could handle Eric. It would all come down to communication. “Thanks, Sir.”

“And Deena,” Taggart called out as she began to leave. “Remember when I told you I tell everyone not to sleep with their partners? No one ever listens.”

She intended to be the first.





CHAPTER FOUR



Eric stopped what he was doing and stared at Javier. “You can’t be serious. She wouldn’t do that.”

Javier was busy chopping peppers, his hands moving at lightning speed. “I’m telling you what I heard. Big Tag told his wife, who mentioned it to Grace, who called Chef, and I overheard that conversation.”

His best friend did have some issues. “You eavesdropped on our boss?”

Javier never missed a beat. “I eavesdrop on everyone. It’s a hobby. How do you expect to run your own place if you don’t listen in on your employees? You have to stay on top of that shit. Like I happen to know that two of the busboys are having an affair, and it’s not who you would think.”

He hadn’t thought any of them would have an affair. “With each other?” That wasn’t the point and he wasn’t going to get into the soap opera that played out in every restaurant he’d ever worked in. He was concerned with his own little drama. “She tried to dump me as her training Dom?”

It made him feel like he’d gotten kicked in the stomach. He knew she’d been in a bit of shock after the kiss they’d shared. When he’d helped her pack up her car, she’d been quiet and unable to meet his eyes? but he’d expected her to bounce back the way she always did. He’d explained that he would pick her up after he got off work and she’d nodded and taken off. She wasn’t working the dinner shift so he would have to wait until later to see her.