Jingle all the Mitchell Way: a holiday novella(20)

If real life was like on television, steam would have been shooting from ears. A giant cat would have been slamming a sledgehammer onto my shocked head until I flattened into a pancake. “Come again?”

“It’s a short scene. They probably won’t even put it in the movie.”

“Have you looked in the mirror? They’re definitely going to put that shit in the movie. They may even add a few more scenes because of it.” I was furious. “Hell no! This movie thing is cancelled.”

“I already signed the contract, Jax.”

“I don’t give a shit. Isn’t there a pissed off husband clause?”

“You shouldn’t have said anything. I told you he’d overreact.” Reese noted.

“Overreact? So you’d be okay with Jake stripping down with a sexy woman on film? You’d be okay with him kissing them and rolling around on a bed pretending to f*ck each other? You know the guys get hard right? I mean, let’s be honest, it’s difficult to keep it from happening when someone is rubbing all over it.”

At the same time the girls burst into laughter. Since I didn’t find anything about it funny, I waited for an explanation.

“Jax, honey we’re kidding. There isn’t a shower scene. I have to kiss someone once, and that’s it. We’ve talked about this. It’s just acting.”

“So, you’re not going to be naked?” I needed her to reiterate.

“No. I’m not.”

I finally exhaled and tried to calm down, turning my attention to Jake, who found it hilarious. “You should have seen your face. Tell me one of you recorded it.”

Reese replied. “I’ve got you covered, baby. I can’t wait to show this to everyone. I’m sharing it now.”

“You’re all *s today.” I sulked back to the bedroom, where I could pout like a man in private.

A little later Amber climbed on the bed. She stuck out her bottom lip while approaching me. “Are you still being emotional?”

“If you’ve come to make fun of my fragile heart turn back around. I want to sulk in peace.”

“Jax, we’ve talked about this. Are you really that worried?”

“I am if you’re taking off your clothes. I’m sorry. Jake can call me a * all he wants. We’ve got a good life, and I don’t want stardom to take it away. Those guys you’ll be working with can offer you stuff I’ll never be able to. We may be well off, but they’ve got jets and shit. What if farm life isn’t enough for you, but you haven’t realized it yet?”

“Jax, do you honestly think I’d choose to leave the life we have? There isn’t another man in this world who can make me smile when I’m stricken with sadness. I married you because I want to be with you forever. Besides, I’m pretty sure none of them will be interested in seeing me naked anyway, especially when I tell them I’m pregnant with my third child.”

My eyes lit up. “What did you say?”

She tickled my lips with hers while responding. “I said I’m pregnant. I peed on the stick this morning to be sure.”

“Holy Hell. I hope it’s a boy.”

“For your sake I hope you’re right, or else you’re really going to be outnumbered.”

I hugged her tight in celebration. “I know it doesn’t make my worries disappear, but it helps knowing I knocked you up again. Damn. I hope the girls are potty trained by the time the next one comes. I’ll have to get a second job to pay for diapers.”

She shoved me down and straddled me. “I’m doing this movie so we can put the money toward our children’s futures. If more come our way we’ll save that money too. We’ll stay in our beautiful home, and fulfill our dreams without hardship. I never could have dreamed this was possible before you came into my life, Jax. Don’t ever think I’d leave you. I’m nothing without you in my corner.”

“That’s why I’m the president of your fan club.”

She tapped on my chest. “Butter me up all you want, you’re still not putting a poster of me over our bed. It’s weird.”

“I’ll settle for a naked you next to me in our bed.”

We kissed slowly, taking a few seconds for ourselves before getting back to the other people in the RV with us. “That’s a promise I know I can keep, even when I’m old and covered in stretch marks and wrinkles.”

“Even if you weighed six hundred pounds, baby. I’d love you still, just not as much, because the sex wouldn’t be as enjoyable.” She put her hand up like she was going to hit me so I added something. “Because I wouldn’t be able to lift you up against the wall and take you like you beg me to.”

“Don’t get me worked up, Jax. We’re not alone.”

“That never stopped us before.”

Amber stood up and started to leave the room. “Get some rest, Daddy. You’re going to need it with a house full of girls.”

I put a pillow over my head and tried to imagine having a bunch of kids with Amber, all female. The first thing my mind went to was teenagers, and the excruciating truth in how horrible it would be, and how much I deserved that type of future for being such a bad kid. Wasn’t their a saying, you get it ten times what you were as a child? If that’s the case I needed a shotgun and a monthly subscription to cases of bourbon.