Je Suis a Toi (Monsters in the Dark #3.5)(53)

My heart f*cking froze. Was that what I’d been doing? Tearing us into pieces while trying to chase the one thing that wouldn’t matter at all if I couldn’t have Tess?

My breathing turned deep and thoughtful for the first time in weeks. I’d been living on adrenaline, forcing myself to touch her with barely any force, struggling to get it up when we slept together, finding more and more salvation in my work even though I couldn’t clear my head from weeks of self-denial.

She’s right.

Capturing her elbow, I whispered, “No. It’s not. I’d rather have you over a thousand children. Over every wealth in the world.”

Her body breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “I’m so happy to hear you say that.” Her eyes turned smoky with intent. “Now that you agree with me. Now that you know you got your way and I’m carrying your child…perhaps you can give in to me again. Come home to me, ma?tre.”

My gut twisted with gratefulness. What a lucky bastard I was. My wife wanted me in all my complexities, and she’d given me what I’d dreamed of.

Did I want to hurt her like we did before?

Yes.

Did I want to bruise and mark?

Without a f*cking doubt.

Did I want to lock her up for the next nine months away from the world and keep her safe?

More than anything.

I’d done my best at castrating the beast inside me, but I couldn’t do such a thing on my own. And Tess wasn’t willing to permit me. Tess wanted me, darkness and all. I had to stop fighting the inevitable and be myself again.

Tess’s relief trickled into me. The permission to relax and stop fighting what made us us siphoned away my guilt and shame.

She sucked in a breath, recognizing my switch. Biting her lip, she moved toward me and rested her palm on my chest. “Welcome back, husband. I’ve missed you.”

I stopped breathing as she linked her fingers with mine, guiding me toward the bed. Her naked body was flushed and scrubbed. Droplets from the shower sparkled in the pristine lights of the Ritz suite.

My eyes dropped to the red outline of my belt on her thigh. She’d done that herself, but I craved to be the one to mark her other leg. To create brilliant symmetry of ownership.

My cock leapt with f*cking joy—knowing the self-imprisonment had finished. The rush. The thrill. Every step toward the bed shook me harder.

I struggled to breathe as Tess sank gracefully on the mattress. She never broke eye contact, clasping an emotional collar around my throat and forcing me to heel and obey. Her damp hair coiled around her throat, dancing around her collarbone like an intricate necklace.

She looked so young.

But glowed with something infinite.

She’s pregnant.

I shuddered with joy.

With a soft sigh, she reclined against the sheets. “What are you going to do to me?”

My hands fisted.

That question was far too dangerous.

My hands shot to my shirt and trousers. Tearing them off, I threw them to the floor. My shoes were kicked off into hotel corners and my boxer-briefs were banished. The second I was naked, I towered over Tess and fisted my hard length.

Tess licked her bottom lip, her face filling with wanton invitation. “I love when you stand over me. Do you want my mouth?” She drew her index along her bottom lip. “Or do you want my *?” With all the seduction of a goddess, Tess spread her legs for me, her fingertips gliding down her toned body to play with her clit.

Her stomach showed no hint of pregnancy. No clue to holding my unborn child. But I had to believe that Tess would keep whatever baby she carried safe. She was strong enough to do that for me. For us.

Squeezing my cock, I ordered, “Get up.”

Her gaze drifted down my chest, over sparrows and ink to latch onto my very hungry erection.

It jerked under her inspection, begging for her wet heat.

Her body moved like silk, rising from the starched white bedding to stand in front of me.

Goddammit, she was stunning.

I locked my muscles to stop from reaching for her.

I saw two women: the one I’d promised to fight and hurt. And the other I vowed to love and cherish. And now, she would be a third woman. A mother who I’d protect with every last f*cking breath.

The desire started as a fireball in my gut—igniting my blood until my entire body set alight with furious lust.

I needed to take Tess ruthlessly and painfully. I needed to remember who I truly was at heart. My arms banded around her. “I’m going to make you remember who I am, mon coeur.” My heart.

My mouth stole hers. Our naked bodies slammed together, our fingers clawing at delicate skin. Her lips opened, submitting to my tongue as I licked inside her. I groaned as she kissed me back. Her hands skated over me, dragging me forward as her nails scratched down my spine.

“Q—please—”

My lips latched harder onto hers, kissing so deep. I wanted to crawl into her soul and capture her forever. The monster inside—the one who I’d forced to lay dormant for weeks—roared back to life.

Control.

The sickly need slithered in my blood, whispering of violence.

I shook my head, dispelling the rapidly building darkness. I would let him play, but I wouldn’t let him rule. Not now. Not ever. My darling esclave was pregnant. She could handle our f*cked-up love, but she couldn’t handle total annihilation.