Je Suis a Toi (Monsters in the Dark #3.5)(44)

We stayed like that for a second. Just living in a perfect heartbeat.

Then violence reentered our lovemaking, and my spine arched as he plunged inside me.

Deep.

Hard.

Excruciatingly blissful.

The way he took me held no remnants of our argument or uncertainty. There was no fear or questions. Only the knowledge we belonged to each other forever.

Every time he thrust, I pushed back to meet him. Water splashed all around us, licking up the sides of the pool and echoing in the space. My lungs strained as Q grunted and rutted, taking me deep and thorough.

My hands ached to touch him. To dig my fingernails into his ass and scratch long bloody trails down his spine. I wanted to make him bleed. I wanted to love and adore him, autograph and implore him.

My * swelled for another release, heating and begging as a swirling orgasm started in my heart, working its way through my nerve endings.

“Take me, Tess. Every last inch of me.” Q bit my ear, losing finesse as he chased what we both needed. His hands roamed every inch—squeezing my thighs, my hips, my breasts. When he rolled my nipples, the percolation inside turned into a nucleus inside my core, just waiting for the final spark to unleash.

My heart rate ratcheted as I fought for pleasure.

“Christ, you look stunning like this. Wet and panting. Bare and begging.”

My legs wrapped tighter around his waist as he increased his speed. His hand dove between us, rubbing my tender, bitten clit. “I want to come, esclave. I want to f*cking come so bad inside you.”

I flinched as intensity became my enemy.

Discomfort flared in my shoulders as my back arched for more.

Words were forgotten as Q lost himself in me. I willingly threw away any decorum or rules and chased him into the darkness.

He pinched my *, sending me up the final rungs of my release.

“Fuck. Fuck, yes.” His lips pulled back as he jerked into me with short, savage thrusts. His body went taut as he stopped fighting and let go.

The splash of his pleasure inside was the last element I needed to come a second time.

I combusted.

The orgasm thundered into being, webbing on the knife edge of pain, then crescendoing in a shower of sparks. My entire body contracted as I writhed on Q, milking him of everything he had left.

We didn’t speak as we stood there, twitching as the final ripples of our bliss faded. The pool slowly calmed from the tidal splashes we’d created and the little pieces of my soul collided with his, acknowledging that this was the start of something bigger than us.

Q chuckled, still rock hard inside. “If you keep clenching around me, Tess, I might have to f*ck you again.”

My smile was lazy and sated. “I wouldn’t say no.”

Shadows entered his gaze as he kissed me softly. “The next time, I won’t hurt you. I won’t bind you, cut you—do anything to make you fear me.”

Before I could tell him I had no intention of letting him do such a thing, he pulled out and spun me around. With the scissors he’d nicked me with, he sliced my yoga band and freed me.

As I rubbed circulation back into my wrists, he kissed my throat. His face etched with confliction and heavy self-loathing. “I love you, Tess. And because of that, I won’t touch you that way again.”

Instead of being content and in love after a soul-deep connection, I felt stranded and alone.

Couldn’t he see I didn’t want him to pull away?

Couldn’t he see he hurt me more saying such things than he ever could with his scissors?

Not giving me a chance to argue, Q swam to the side and climbed out.

He didn’t look back.





LAST NIGHT.

Fuck, I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk. I shouldn’t have come home with frustration in my heart. I had no control over the bastard inside when I did.

I rolled over in bed, drinking in Tess’s sleepy form. Her skin glowed with a mixture of marks and bruises, but as she roused beneath my gaze, her smile was sleepy and sexy as she stretched like a well-petted cat. The two small cuts on her breast and belly mocked me.

I daren’t look between her legs where I’d bitten her hard enough to break her delicate skin.

“Morning.”

I grunted in response, nursing a headache and the awful taste of regret. Swinging my legs out of bed, I massaged my temples. “If I hurt you in the pool, I’m sorry.”

Sheets rustled as she crawled toward me. Her warm nakedness draped over my back as she looped her arms around my chest. Her lips landed on my cheek. “Q…I thought we’d discussed this way before we got married. You can’t hurt me. I have a safe word if it ever gets too much and I trust you to stop if I ever say it.” Her arms banded tighter. “Nothing you did last night was too much. I loved every second of it.”

I did my best to shrug her off, standing naked over her. “And what of the other thing we discussed.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, doing my best to get my wayward emotions under control. “What of that?”

Tess stood on her knees, proudly displaying the body that I’d coveted, claimed, and ultimately couldn’t get pregnant.

Two months.

That was my dirty f*cking secret. For two months, I’d slept with my wife, all the while knowing she wasn’t on contraception.

Every time I came inside her, I thought she’d come to me with the shy but happy news.