Instead of You(86)

Tomorrow she would graduate from college and I was so proud of her. School wasn’t hard for her—she flew through every class she took—but she had this drive that amazed me. Her mom and dad were coming down to watch her ceremony and then to take us out for dinner. The surprise was that my mom was coming with them.

About a year after my mother and I had been in Montana, when she’d seemed stable and I’d had some counseling of my own, I told her about McKenzie. I told her everything. I’d done it in her therapist’s office, hoping for the best but knowing it might have been a trigger for a setback, and I wanted to do it the best way for my mom. At first, after listening to my story, she cried. It took nearly ten minutes for her to calm down enough to explain that she wasn’t crying because my and McKenzie’s relationship upset her, but more so because she felt responsible for the outcome.

From that day forward she’d been my biggest cheerleader and tried to convince me every day to go back for McKenzie.

I’d dated other women in Montana, each one a desperate attempt to cover a wound, to try and force myself to move on even though I knew, so very deep down, it was impossible. My mom had been polite and kind to each one, but never missed an opportunity to tell me I was being an idiot for trying to make myself forget about McKenzie.

They hadn’t seen each other since four years prior, but I knew my mom was anxious to wrap her arms around her, to see her again, to feel that love she’d thought she’d lost. She’d always known McKenzie would be her daughter one day, and above everything else, she was so glad that hadn’t been lost along with everything else. I wanted my mom there when I asked McKenzie to be with me for the rest of our lives.

McKenzie was asleep next to me, like she’d been every night since the first we spent together here. We both seemed to understand that there was no reason to be apart any longer. That first day, after our long walk through an entire night, we made love until neither one of us could move, and then the next morning she went to her house, loaded up her car, and moved in. Neither of us ever looked back.

I let my eyes wander over her, loving the way her wild hair was everywhere, the way her legs never stayed on her side of the bed, but also the way—even in sleep—she kept me close.

It was with the same surety I’d felt since my brother’s party when I finally kissed her and confirmed what I’d thought was true—that she was the only one for me—the same certainty, that I knew she’d end the day wrapped around me, wearing my ring.



The End





Acknowledgements


First, always, thank you to my family. My husband, especially, for…. I don’t know….keeping the kids out of our room when I’m trying to write. Even though you’re not very good at that.

Thanks to ALL my beta readers. I think I had more beta readers for this book than any other. And that stemmed directly from my fear of writing something new. Joanne, Danielle, Michelle, Dana, Ali, Rachel, Stefanie, Lesley, Keena, Ashley, and Andrea T. – your input was invaluable and I am so grateful to have had such wonderful readers for this book.

To all the ladies in Anie’s Awesome Teamsters – THANK YOU for being such a great sounding board for me and offering up advice and opinions when I need your input. You ladies are such a great resource for me and help me more than you probably realize.

Olivia, thank you for always being such an awesome editor. I appreciate not only your opinions, but your professionalism and your enormous bank of knowledge. Thank you, also, to everyone at Hot Tree Editing.

Becca, my girl, I love you. Thank you for not only beta reading this book, but for handling the teasers for me. And, for always being a genuine friend when those are so hard to come by in this business. I love how 85% of our conversations aren’t even about books, but about our lives because our friendship goes deeper than just books. At least…. I hope it does. This is awkward….

Ena and Amanda at Enticing Journey, thank you for handling any and all events for this book. Whether it was the cover reveal or the release blitz, or any other event you’ve worked on for me, it was always handled professionally and effectively. You both do a truly awesome job.

To all the writers in my Sprinters group, thank you for being there to push me when I need more words. Most of this book was written knowing I’d have to check in with any number of you, so I kept the words coming. Who knows how long it would have taken otherwise.

Thank you, also, to my uncle who answered all my creepy questions about police procedure when someone is murdered. Having a police officer in the family proved to be helpful…finally. And just as you requested, George Clooney is totally down to play you in the movie.

Finally, thank you to all the readers. This is the best job ever and I couldn’t do it without you!