Instead of You(37)

But for some reason, Hayes and I spending this one night in different cities felt more important than it should have. It was foreboding. It was a bigger divide than even I was comfortable with, but I thought it was important, for so many reasons.

When Holly came to pick me up, I’d replaced all my homework in my bag with an extra change of clothes, and I’d managed to find our two-person tent in the garage, along with a sleeping bag. I didn’t know if Becca would be sharing my tent or not, so I brought an extra bag just in case. We loaded Holly’s car—lucky for us her parents had gotten her a small SUV when she turned seventeen—and we headed to Becca’s, where we spent more time than we should have getting her ready for her party date.

“You look great,” I said for the millionth time, with forced enthusiasm. The truth was, she looked amazing, but she always did. The last ten outfits she’d put on had looked awesome, but she and Holly hadn’t been satisfied. She was wearing black leggings with a short denim skirt, and a loose purple sweater that hung off one of her shoulders. They’d originally tried the outfit without the leggings, but then I reminded them that we were, indeed, going to be outside all night, sitting on low logs, climbing in and out of tents. So, they’d added the leggings even though it covered up what Becca thought was her best asset.

Holly and I were in traditional campout wardrobe: Jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies. I had no one to impress and Todd would take Holly in a paper sack, so she wasn’t worried about her outfit either.

“Are you sure?” Becca asked, her voice nervous.

“Becca, he’s going to think you look awesome. And you don’t want to look out of place, you know, like you’re trying too hard. You can’t exactly wear a clubbing dress to a campout,” I offered, trying to make her see reason.

“She’s right,” Holly agreed. “Plus, if you take too long getting ready, we’ll be more than fashionably late.”

“Okay, okay,” Becca said, convincing herself she looked all right. She was crazy. Jacob would lose his mind when he saw her hair and the way the loose sweater draped over her frame, hinting at what lay beneath without being revealing or scandalous. I thought her outfit was perfect.

“Time to go,” I shouted.

We grabbed all our belongings and headed downstairs and out the door.



I sat on a log taking a wide sweep of my surroundings. The Holstater compound was enormous, and essentially out in the middle of nowhere. There was no cell service, no electricity, and no bathrooms. If you were looking for a four-star resort, the Holstater compound was not your place. But, for a bunch of teenagers, it was perfect. Ryan had met us at his house, where there were no less than thirty cars parked in the field right next door, and pointed us toward the path leading down to the campsite.

It was about a half-mile hike, all downhill, only accessible by the quads Ryan and his friend were operating, hauling down everyone’s belongings. At the bottom of the trail was a large open area, almost like a sandy meadow, surrounded by trees on three sides, the fourth side being a river. Swimming wasn’t really a thing, because, well, gators, but it was always nice to listen to the rushing of the water when you were trying to fall asleep in your tent.

The warmth of the fire kept me content on the log, watching as my friends enjoyed themselves. Becca and Jacob were on the other side of the fire, sitting close on a log, knees touching, their faces smiling and animated as they laughed with Holly and Todd. Holly was sitting on Todd’s lap, and he was in heaven. Holly carried Todd’s world in the palm of her hand, and he didn’t want it any other way. I watched as he would absentmindedly run his hand down her back, wrap a hand around her waist, touching her without thinking about it. It was sweet and I smiled knowing Holly had a true kind of love, something tangible, something fulfilling.

I felt the log shake and dip, then heard the grunt of someone landing next to me.

“Hey, McKenzie, glad you could make it.”

Nathan’s words were delivered with a slimy tone, as if I were there for some reason besides to hang out with my friends. I chose not to respond and instead, brought the red plastic cup in my hand to my mouth, taking a long, slow, drink.

“Whatcha drinking?” His words were slurred slightly, which made me want to roll my eyes.

“The same thing everyone else with a red cup is drinking.”

“You mean that jungle juice shit?” He scoffed. “I’ve got some good stuff in my tent if you’d rather drink something that doesn’t taste like lighter fluid.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why the hell did you even come if you’re just going to sit around by yourself and be a bitch?”

I finally turned my head and looked at him, noticing the bottle in his hand covered with a brown paper bag. “I’m not sitting here by myself,” I said, motioning to the fifteen people sitting around the big bonfire. “But I definitely didn’t come to the party to be hauled off to your date rape tent.”

“You’ve always been a stuck-up bitch. I thought, maybe, since your boyfriend got shot, you’d be looking to relax a little.”

His words caught me completely off guard, shocked me like a bomb had gone off right in my face, I nearly fell backward from the force of his words. Before I could recover, I heard Todd’s angry voice from right beside me.

“Leave her alone, Nathan.”