Hold My Breath(49)

Please don’t ask any more questions, Maddy.

“He’ll make an exception for you, Will,” she says finally, standing and moving so her hands are on the back of her chair, her body facing me. “He’ll make an exception because you’re the one bringing the sponsors to this thing. But you’re going to need to do those interviews.”

Her forehead dents, and I know it’s because she knows how badly I don’t want to talk about the accident, my parents, and my brother.

“I know,” I nod, standing and moving toward her. I move my hands so they cover hers, then I lean close and kiss her forehead, holding my mouth against her while my eyes peer through the window, taking in the happy, trouble-free faces inside. I need to turn Maddy into one of those, and I need to make sure she stays happy.

“I’m going to go find your dad, and let him know,” I say, leaving her outside while I head in to swim with the sharks.





Maddy




There’s a chance I might just stay out here. Minutes have passed, and nobody has come looking for me, so why fix a situation that isn’t broken.

I slide back into the chair and kick my heels from my feet, tucking the skirt of my dress under my thighs so I can rest my feet on the empty chair Will left behind. I’m about to rest my eyes and breathe until I can let go of this nagging feeling in my stomach over Will when I hear the sliding glass followed by the voice of my best friend.

“Your position has been compromised,” Holly says.

I crack one eyelid open as she moves a glass of wine in my hand then drags her chair next to mine, forcing my feet to fall to the ground.

“You’re ruining my zen,” I say.

“Drink the wine. That’ll help,” she says, raising her glass before sipping on her own. “Why are we hiding?”

I shrug.

“Liar. Tell me,” she says.

I laugh.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had to be at one of these kinds of parties, and it turns out…I don’t really like them,” I say, raising my own wine and sipping.

My friend laughs loudly, and I lean forward to look inside, internally begging that nobody heard her and got clued in to the idea of stepping outside.

“Stop, it’s fine. You can’t hear a thing in there,” she says. I meet her eyes to gauge how truthful she’s being, and when I’m satisfied, I lean back and exhale. “I asked Will where you were.”

I nod.

“He looked very…intense. Everything going all right with you two?” She shakes her shoulders, bobbing her head as if her question is innocent. I know better.

“We’re getting along fine, Holly,” I say, lips pursed.

She sips her wine, loudly, and stares at me over the rim.

“You…kiss him yet?” Her right brow shoots into her hairline.

I hold her stare, waiting too long to answer, and she moves to the next question.

“You sleep with him?”

My mouth betrays me, instantly reacting, remembering how his kiss felt, wanting more of them, more of his body and the unbelievable way he makes me feel when his hands are on me.

“Maddy Woodsen, you dirty girl!” she teases. “You’re blushing. You f*cked that boy, and you let him do dirty things.”

“Holly, Jesus…shhhhh!” I sit up straight and grab her arms. She shrugs me away from the hand holding her wine and drinks the rest of it down, setting the glass on the ground when she’s done.

“Well?” She waits, staring at me. I know what well means, and I know ignoring it isn’t an option. She’ll only move on to blunt questioning after this, using words that are going to make me want to hide in a hole.

“It was unbelievable,” I say. I don’t smile, though, and that’s where I go wrong.

“Huh,” she says, turning her head a fraction, eyes still studying me. “Your face says otherwise.”

I sigh loudly.

“It was good. I don’t know what else you want me to say.” I suck at deflecting.

“Maddy, this is the first time you’ve had sex in four years. It’s the second guy you’ve slept with, and it’s the very hot brother of the guy you were going to marry. It’s the juiciest shit I’ve ever witnessed—and I work in a hospital where interns shag in elevators and doctors cheat on their wives and husbands with one another. You can’t use a word like unbelievable, and then follow it up with a face that looks like you want to weep and vomit at the same time.”

Shit, do I really look like I want to vomit? Weep…maybe. I shake my head and sit up straight before letting my face fall into my hands, my fingers at my temples.

“He’s got a lot of baggage, Holly. Fuck, we have some of the same damned bags,” I say through a wry laugh.

“And…” She shrugs.

I look her in the eye and huff out a breath, blinking slowly, coming to terms with that feeling in my gut, with what it is.

“I feel like I’m hurting Evan,” I say, my body deflating with the words. “It feels like a betrayal.”

“Honey, Evan’s gone,” she says.

“Yeah, but Will is his brother!” My hand flies to my face, my fingers pinching the bridge of my nose. “He’s the one person on this earth I should probably not fall for.”