History Is All You Left Me(49)

“I’m so happy you made it,” he says.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the apocalypse,” Veronika says.

“For the thousandth time this week, that doesn’t make sense. Retire it,” Anika says, shoving Veronika out of the way to hug Jackson. “You’re basically admitting you’re otherwise open to watching the world burn.”

“For the thousandth time this week, the world often sucks and I can either burn with my eyes closed or watch it all turn to ash for a hot second,” Veronika says. She settles into the booth without saying anything to me.

Anika waves Veronika off and turns to me. “Griffin, right? I’m Anika.”

“Hi.” I stand and shake her hand before falling back into my seat.

“The other woman,” Veronika says. “So to speak.”

I’m not the other. I was the first.

“She’s kidding,” Anika says with a dark look at her friend, sliding in beside her. “She’s not funny, but she’s kidding.”

I’m not laughing, and I won’t fake laugh.

Jackson sits back down slowly, as if he’s suddenly unsure if this was a good idea. But his smile doesn’t waver. “It’s really good to see you both. How was Thanksgiving? How have classes been? What’s going on?”

He’s only asked three questions and before I can jump in to nudge him to ask a fourth, Anika and Veronika fire off answers.

“Thanksgiving was weird without you. No one ate my mom’s cranberry stuffing,” Veronika pipes up, casually reading the menu.

“But everyone understands why you weren’t there,” Anika adds.

“My mom sends her condolences, obviously.”

“How are you do—”

“Classes are okay,” Veronika interrupts. “We’re partying a lot with the theater crew. We’re not failing any classes yet either, so that’s a plus. NYU is putting together a production of what’s basically a hipster version of Peter Pan. Anika and I are going to go head-to-head for Wendy, even though she can no doubt steal the role of Captain Hook from this dude Jeremy if she wanted.”

Anika stops the waiter. “Hi, could we get some waters? And a muzzle for this one?” The waiter steps away. “You’re talking ten times too much.”

I would say twenty times too much. I don’t understand how Jackson can miss someone so self-absorbed and insensitive. I also don’t believe you actually enjoyed playing card games with this girl. Anika seems chill, no doubt. But there’s no way you left your hang-out with Veronika and turned to Jackson and said, “I love her! Let’s be sure to do that again!”

“I’m just excited,” Veronika says. “I haven’t seen Jack in a while.”

“Jackson,” he corrects. “Only Theo calls—called me that.”

Besides my dad, you’re the only one I let call me Griff. Jackson and I both gave you that intimacy. You’re gone, and so are Griff and Jack, dead with you.

“There’s no way I could’ve known that,” Veronika says.

“Maybe if you actually showed up to our Skype dates you would,” Jackson says. He doesn’t sound angry, just disappointed. I’m not sure if Jackson is the angry type. I’m still learning.

“Listen, Jackson . . . Is it okay if I call you Jackson?” Veronika leans forward. “You could’ve moved out here with us. You decided to stay back home and go to school—”

“Go to a school where there are better programs for me,” Jackson interrupts.

“Let’s not do this,” Anika says. She turns to me, apologetic.

“Animation isn’t that bad out here. I know a guy who loves it,” Veronika says.

“Good for him. I don’t want to attend a school where animation class isn’t that bad. I’m sorry my school didn’t offer productions of hipster Wizard of Oz—”

“Peter Pan,” Veronika corrects.

“—but I respected you moving out here to do what was best for you. I knew you and Anika would get closer once you started rooming together, but I didn’t think I would be so squeezed out.”

Veronika glances out the window, as if bored. “I’m surprised you noticed anything, considering you were always with Theo.”

I don’t like where this is going. Someone’s going to say something stupid, something unforgivable. I’m still anxious from the three questions Jackson asked that pretty much started this mess. I’m openly scratching my palms on the table, hoping Jackson will notice and cease fire. But he doesn’t even acknowledge the waiter, who comes by to take our order and just as quickly steps away so as not to get caught up in the cross fire.

“Theo was always there for me,” Jackson says.

Veronika claps. “Good going on Theo, then! You both were in the same city. I stopped making as much of an effort with our Skype dates and texting you back once your relationship with Theo hyper-drove into this serious thing we couldn’t possibly understand but were simply expected to. I get it. I was with you during all your rejections and heartbreak in high school, and you picked up some cute guy on the highway and it was magical and totally worth blogging about. I get the obsession, but don’t pin this all on me. You’re at fault too, Jackson.”