Hidden Monsters (Volkov Bratva #4)(57)

No, not individually, not even combined. If he’d kept a ledger, then he’d be on his third volume by now. Sometimes all he could see was the blood on his hands—no matter what he did, they could never get clean.

“Luka, I don’t know much about you, so I can only go on my experiences with you. When I needed you, you were there. When I didn’t, you were still there and wouldn’t leave. And if that’s how you are with me, I know you would do three times as much for Alex. So if you were expecting me to tell you to stay away from Alex, you came to the wrong person for that. I’m sure you get enough of that from Mish, and half the time I think he just says it because she’s still his little sister.”

“I’m going to hurt her,” he said pointedly, not a question but a fact.

“How?”

“With the truth.”

“And how will that hurt her?”

He laughed, the sound echoing his frustration. “The truth always hurts.”

Lauren nodded. “Yes, but you know what’ll make it better. You telling her. Whatever’s haunting you, whatever you think is going to ultimately ruin whatever the two of you will have, you need to be the one to tell her. No one else. It may hurt at first, but it’ll be easier coming from you than anyone else.”

Luka dropped his arm, staring up at the ceiling.

No matter how he tried to rationalize it, there was no way he could tell her the truth about what brought him to New York. No, he wasn’t proud of his life within the Organization and the shit he’d had to do to survive there, but he couldn’t see that being the thing that tore them apart.

Having to explain to her that he’d intended to torture the hell out of her brother and would have ultimately killed him, but because of technicalities that no one could have seen coming, had ended up dishing most of this out on Klaus.

“You’re obviously in a mood today,” Lauren commented, tapping his arm so he would look at her. “What changed?”

Luka licked his lips, contemplating how he was going to answer that. He would never betray Alex’s confidence, not even to Lauren. If she wanted them to know about the past few months and the problems she’d struggled with, then that was her story to tell, otherwise, only the pair of them would know.

But Lauren wasn’t dumb enough to think that he had just seen the light one day and was finally tired of sitting on his ass and not doing anything about what all this was he felt for Alex. There was obviously a reason…but he couldn’t think of any lie that wouldn’t sound like a lie.

“Nothing.” He couldn’t say that she was giving him more of her. She always had. But having her so close…he wasn’t ready to give that up. “Nothing has changed.”

Rising to his feet, he kissed the top of Lauren’s head before going for the door.

“Glad I could help,” she called after him, the amusement clear in her voice.

Now, there was one thing he had needed to do before he said f*ck all to Mishca’s rules and did the very thing he told himself he would never do.

____

The house Luka pulled up in front of was pretty large, not uncommon in the neighborhood he was in. Locking his Jeep, he walked up to the front door, ringing the doorbell twice before standing back and waiting.

It had taken a few seconds before he heard the soft patter of feet, then the heavy oak door was pulled open by a girl no older than twelve in a bright green summer dress. Her eyes widened slightly as she took him in, but she smiled.

“Hi, can I help you?”

Before Luka could call out to him, he heard the good doctor walking, asking who was at the door. When he appeared behind his daughter and saw who was standing in his entryway, he visibly paled, his hand coming to rest on his daughter’s shoulder.

“Why don’t you go see what your brother is doing, Lea.”

She nodded, taking one last glance back at Luka before she disappeared in the house.

The doctor’s hands were shaking as he spoke. “Please, I haven’t borrowed any money. I’ve never spoken a word about—”

“Relax, doc. This is a social call. I need a favor.”

“What kind of favor?”

Luka shrugged, glancing around him at the houses lining the street. “Are you going to invite me in?” When the doctor looked more afraid, Luka lifted his shirt, just enough to show the waistband of his jeans. “If it helps, I’m not armed.”

That, of course, did not mean he didn’t know how to use his bare hands to get the job done, but he thought it would be better if he didn’t mention that fact.

Reluctantly, the doctor stepped to the side, letting Luka breeze through, the door closed and locked behind him.

“My office is this way,” he said, directing him through the house toward a back office that was decorated in shades of gray.

Though it was abundantly clear that he was still nervous, he put up a good front as he sat behind his desk, trying to look composed as he waited for Luka to explain why he was there.

“I need you to run my blood.”

“Pardon?”

Dropping down in his seat, he gestured to his arm. “You’ll probably need to tie my arm off, wait for a vein to pop out, stick a needle in, fill a couple of vials with blood—you do know what that is, right?—and run it.”

Clearing his throat, the doctor nodded. “What am I looking for?”