HARD KNOX(50)

“Ana… my sweet girl, Ana…”

“Mom,” I said. “Don’t get all mushy on me right now. I can’t take it.”

I smiled.

She smiled.

She coughed and looked like she was in intense pain.

“Take it easy,” I said.

“I am,” she whispered. “Today is it, Ana. I’m not doing it anymore.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I’m sorry I let you down. In life.”

“Stop,” I said. “I’m not going to talk about all that right now. It’s too late for it all. I’m here. Okay?”

She nodded. She looked forward and her eyes got really heavy. They started to shut and her grip on my hand went weak. I shook her hand, feeling the emotion recharge itself inside me.

No, no, no, no…

I stood up and leaned over the bed. I kissed her forehead, feeling how cold and clammy she was.

“I love you, Mom,” I said. “It’s okay to let go. I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you. I’m sorry that you got sick like this. You can be free now. I promise, I’ll be okay.”

She never opened her eyes again. But she did speak to me one last time. Her words forever tattooed into my heart and soul.

“Ana… I was wrong… you need someone like him to save you… you need a man… you need to find Knox…”





thirty-one



(ana)



NOW



I was in the cemetery. It was sad and fitting all at the same time. Knox stood next to me, his arm around me. We both stared at my mother’s grave. He kissed my head and squeezed me tight.

“I’m so sorry, darlin’,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s just fate, Knox.”

His hand touched my stomach. “Our fate is here. Our family.”

I looked back at him and nodded. I offered a weak smile. “You should go. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wait around.”

“Okay, darlin’,” Knox said.

He backed away from me and I didn’t look back to see him go. I didn’t need to see it. This was my fate now. I was going to be alone in a cemetery. My life had gone so far off the track I had imagined it.

I put both my hands to my stomach, feeling that motherly thing go through my body. It was hard to explain. The way the urge to survive and fight became so much more important. Seeing the way Knox reacted to it all proved everything I needed to know about him, me, and our future.

Which was exactly why I was standing alone in a cemetery.

The minutes ticked by far too slow. My nerves would one minute shake and the next minute calm. I had to put so much faith and truth into things I couldn’t control, I hated it. That was always my thing. Not having control. After my mother passed away, I tried to get control. The only way to do it was falling into the arms of Porter. He controlled me, sure, but it was almost like being defiant to my own heart and to Knox.

When I finally saw Porter pull into the cemetery and get out of his car, my heart began to race. I left one hand on my stomach, feeling that deep need to protect my baby. All it took was one picture of the ultrasound to change everything. I had never wanted this… but I understood it. I thought about all the times Porter used me. The times he came after me.

It was all a secret. The messages back and forth. I never admitted a thing to Porter but it was easy to let him assume. I was the helpless woman, trapped with outlaws, and he was going to save me.

That’s how the picture was painted.

I saw Porter look around as he approached me.

We decided to meet in the cemetery. It made sense. It was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do to end all of this bullshit. In my heart, I knew it wasn’t ending though. It was just going to be the beginning in so many ways.

“Ana,” Porter said.

He was within spitting distance.

My heart raced. I never thought I would see him again. Or if I did, Knox would be by my side.

“It’s really true?” he asked.

I pulled at my shirt, making it even tighter against my body. I turned to my side. I had a very small baby bump forming. But it was there. The life inside me was growing by the day.

The morning I popped I was so emotional. But Knox had taken care of me. He soothed me. He rubbed my back, shoulders, his massive hands caring for me. His hands then put me on my belly and his hands touched my ass. From there… it was three hours of hot sex that went from the bed, to the floor, to the shower, to the kitchen, back to the bed.

Fuck, I missed Knox already.

“Oh, Ana,” Porter said. “You’re really pregnant. I thought you were on the pill or something.”

“I screwed up,” I said.

“That’s okay. I’ll take care of everything.” Porter put a hand out. “It’s all okay now. I killed Knox’s father. I did it myself. Vinny was mad at me about it, but he played it off. I wanted to show power. To everyone. Especially to you.”

“You hurt me,” I said. “You always hurt me. I hate you for that.”

“That’s okay. You can hate me. But soon… we’re going to be in so much love together.”

Porter closed the gap, his greasy hands wanting to touch me.