Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines #2)(65)

“Well, alright then. Congratulations to you, and the Wildcats, Reed. We look forward to seeing this great match up,” the reporter said as the camera angle swung wide. I was dizzy with giddiness one instant, and then suddenly lost it all the moment I saw Jenny standing in the background, her eyes bright and focused on Reed, while she clapped and cheered—all for him.

“Why was she there? And what was she to Reed?” I asked myself.

“Steve, I’m sending it over to you to give us a little insight into what Ohio State thinks about this match up, as well as quarterback Ian Herring. Steve?” the reporter signed off and the coverage shifted. I picked up the remote and turned the TV off only to find Sarah smirking at me, standing with her arms crossed.

“What?” I said, shrugging and trying to brush her attention off.

“You know what? You two are so syrupy sweet. It would be disgusting if I didn’t love you so much,” she said, punching me lightly in the arm. I had to smile at her words.

“Yeah,” I paused and sighed a little. “It feels like we’re almost back…I just feel like there are these big clouds out there floating over us, though, know what I mean? I still feel weird about Jenny. Is he dating us both? Was she just a one-night stand? And he still hasn’t brought up my miscarriage, Sar. I mean, that’s weird, right?”

Sarah turned away from me, refusing to make eye contact, and immediately my suspicion rose. “What? What do you know?” I questioned her, crawling over the back of her sofa to run into her, and force her to look me in the eye. She pushed her lips into a hard line and then exhaled heavily.

“Noles, Reed didn’t know. Not at first. This whole time, when you thought he was ignoring you, ignoring what happened. He didn’t know,” her words were so foreign, they seemed impossible. I just shook my head, not understanding. She slumped her shoulders and grabbed mine to look me in the eye. “He never listened to the message. Not until I told him to.”

My eyes went wide, my mind playing back memories of the last three months, trying to fit this new information together with everything I had done, everything Reed had thought, and where we were now. “When? When did you tell him?” I stuttered, my body shaking a bit with adrenaline and renewed understanding.

“The night we all went out…after Thanksgiving. He called me and said you mentioned it in your drunken stupor. You were a nightmare, by the way,” she paused to point out before continuing on. “Nolan, he was crying and upset. He was devastated.”

My heart broke a little thinking of Reed’s reaction. “Was he angry?” I asked, suddenly feeling sick and leaning into Sarah’s counter to hold my weight up.

“No. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Nolan, he was so upset over you and everything you were going through,” she said, stopping herself short when I snapped my eyes to hers.

“What do you mean what I’ve been going through?” I asked, praying she hadn’t told Reed every detail of my crumbling life.

“Yeah, Nolan. Reed and I, we’ve been talking. A lot. You’re going to get pissed and find this out eventually, so you might as well know now. I’m worried about you. Sienna’s worried about you. You’re flunking out, losing your scholarships. You’re a mess! And I told Reed. He knows everything,” she said, her shoulders sagging again with the weight of it all.

I held my hand over my mouth just listening to her words, embarrassed and ashamed. I knew it was all true, but I still didn’t like hearing it. I was the together one. I didn’t fall apart. And the thought that Reed was just being nice to me, showing me attention, because he felt bad for me also ran through my mind.

“Nolan, stop that. You’re getting ahead of yourself, I can tell,” Sarah said, forcing my eyes to hers. “Stop it. You and Reed are figuring things out. It’s not pity.”

“Sarah, how do you know? What if it’s all just guilt?” I said, my stomach twisting and my heart sinking a little more.

“Because, I know. I’m never wrong. Like…ever. Now grab your shit; we’re going home,” she said, turning on me and not letting me get another word in. It was her style. Tough and to-the-point, and I knew I was better off following her directions. I also knew I’d continue to worry silently.



Sarah and I were just turning onto the main desert highway when my phone buzzed, bringing me out of my self-pity funk for just a moment. I reached into my console and pushed until I found the talk button and put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I asked, not sure who was calling.

“Hey, honey,” my mom said, her voice sounding a little flat and depressed.

“Oh, hi. I didn’t see the number. Sarah and I are on our way. I just have to drop her off then I’ll be home,” I said, excited to be going home.

“Honey, that’s the thing…” my mom started, my mind taking over and going in a million directions over what her next round of news could be. I was slowing down on the highway now, and Sarah was staring at me, worried.

“Oh God, what is it?” I said, choking a bit with panic.

“No, no…honey, don’t worry. Everyone is fine. Everyone is just fine,” she continued, knowing that I was imagining the worst. “It’s the house. We…we had a small fire this morning. It was the laundry room, actually. Something about the dryer vent.”