Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines #2)(70)
Nolan’s face slid into a smile then too, her teeth grazing her bottom lip while her eyes shifted between mine and my mouth, her breathing getting more and more ragged with every second. My palms were resting on her hips, but they were hungry to touch her, feel her. I slid them to her back, and up the bottom of her shirt until I was gripping her bare skin, feeling the heat of it along my fingertips as I worked my way up and down, still holding her gaze.
She stepped into me more, our chests touching, and her nose tickling the center of my body, right where my heart lives. She tilted her head to look straight up at me, biting her lip harder now, her eyelids heavy. I felt her hands grip the bottom of my shirt and begin to pull it up, so I helped her pull it over my head and discard it on the floor. Her hands continued to roam, gripping my stomach, and then grazing up my chest and to my chin and neck and then back down. Our eyes were locked, and the tension was f*cking undeniable. I wanted her. And she was giving me permission. But I was fighting with myself, afraid it was too soon, that our trust hadn’t been mended enough.
I was lost in my head when I felt the coolness of her lips against my chest as she began kissing her way up to my neck, my breathing failing me now. I had a solid grip on the back of the sweatpants she was wearing, like a leash keeping my hands in check. I didn’t have much restraint left in me, though. And when Nolan reached down to pull her own shirt up and over her head, pressing her bare skin against mine fiercely, reaching into my hair and pulling my mouth to hers hard, I lost control over everything.
Our tongues tangled as I reached behind her and lifted her to me, her legs wrapping around me and holding me to her tightly. “We can’t stay here,” I said into her ear as I kissed my way up and down her neck.
“Okay,” she whispered, kissing me again and holding on tighter as I turned to the stairs, and carried her all the way to my room. I kicked the door closed behind me and walked us over to my bed, my lips never once leaving hers. I leaned forward, laying her down, and held myself above her. I stopped kissing her just long enough to look into her wanting eyes—just long enough to make sure this was okay, and okay tonight. When she slid up the bed and pulled me with her, I had the confirmation I needed.
I felt Nolan reaching for my jeans, and I stood to pull them off, returning to her in seconds, almost as if my body would suffocate without her touch. I peeled her bra down her shoulders before removing that, too. I kissed her breasts, taking my time, not wanting this night to end. I rolled her on top of me then, and she sat up, straddling me, her hands digging into my chest for balance, and her hair draping over our faces. I reached up to tuck it behind her ears, and she licked at her lips softly to moisten them. Fuck. I was done.
Gripping her head more, I pulled her back to me and sucked in her bottom lip. She was reaching to remove her pants, and I leaned over to my nightstand to pull out a condom. When I looked back, she was completely naked and ready, so beautiful and so full of fire. I knew I should stop, slow things down. But I just couldn’t do it. I nodded to her, making sure this was what she wanted. And then she took the condom from me and finished putting it on me herself.
Within seconds, we were connected, our bodies completely in sync, and Nolan’s eyes staring deep into mine. I reached up to grab her face between my hands and kissed her tenderly, slowly, and passionately as we made love to one another, the faint sounds of Christmas music drifting up to my room from downstairs. Time felt irrelevant, and our messy, recent past seemed so, too. All that mattered was now, and moving forward. Feeling her, smelling her, being able to touch her, and hear her, share my secrets with her—that’s all I wanted in life.
“I love you,” I breathed into her, “so f*cking much.”
I felt her body shake a bit, and noticed the small tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. I reached up to stop them with my thumbs, wiping each away and stroking her face tenderly. “Don’t cry, Princess. We’re okay. Everything’s okay. I have you, and I’m not letting go,” I said, kissing her harder now, like I was laying claim to her and binding us together forever physically.
“I love you, too. You’re my everything,” she said, her voice cracking as she spoke. I pulled her close to me, and we moved together—here in the same room I’d first confessed my feelings to her. We were kids then, our problems such adolescent bullshit. We’d grown so much. And we’d taken major f*cking steps backward. But here we were, back to us. And there was no way I was ever letting go. Our bodies were wet with sweat, and our hearts were racing, as we both climbed together until I felt her body shudder, and I followed her, holding her tightly, and refusing to let go until I felt her body still with exhaustion.
I left my bed for a quick shower and turned out every light in the house, setting my alarm to wake us up at sunrise, hoping like hell we’d beat the rest of the house. But I wasn’t letting Nolan leave my bed tonight. Her dad could beat my ass in the morning, and I’d deserve it. But I didn’t care. She wasn’t leaving these arms. I pulled my blanket up over us as I lay next to her and held her close, the beat of her heart the only sound I could hear.
My lullaby.
Nolan was stubborn about waking up in the morning. I knew my pops wouldn’t care, but I was pretty sure hers would, so I started trying to wake her around 5 in the morning, well before the sun came up.
“Mmmmmmm,” she brushed at her hair, flinching at my breath as I blew lightly at her face. “More sleeeeep.”