Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines #2)(49)

Sarah just stiffened at my question, her feet stopping, and her face looking down at them. Her gaze flashed to mine in an instant then, her face confused and full of worry. “Reed…you know she never slept with Gavin, right?” She said, her words slapping me in the face and fighting against everything I had believed for weeks.

“Uh…what do you mean?” I said, backing away a little, my hands dropping to my sides.

“I mean…Nolan. Never. Slept. With. Gavin,” she said it slowly and punctuated each word, drilling it into me, and angry at my accusation.

“Fuck!” I said backing away from Sarah faster now and heading for the front door. She followed me out.

I was pacing now in the dirt parking lot in front of my Jeep. I kicked a rock so hard it dinged off of one of my doors, and then pushed my hands through my hair and tilted my head up to look at the stars. “You’re f*cking kidding me!” I screamed loudly enough to turn a few heads of others that were just walking into the bar. Embarrassed, I put up a hand in an apologetic wave. Sarah was frozen, just watching me pace and work out everything in my racing mind. I stopped right in front of her and put my hands on either shoulder.

“Sarah. You’re telling me that Nolan never slept with Gavin?” I wanted to hear her say it again.

“Reed. I can’t believe you’d even ask that,” her forehead was wrinkled like my words weren’t even making sense. She shook her head slowly at me in disappointment, and I just started pacing again.

“I can’t believe that f*cker,” I said under my breath. Sarah caught my arm to stop me then.

“What f*cker?” she gritted through her teeth now.

“Gavin. I came to see her, not long after we fought. You know, when I found out that she’d kissed him? He was coming out of her room, and he said that he’d spent the night,” I hung my head feeling foolish that I believed him.

“Fuck! That * played me to get me out of his way. And I just f*cking waved him right in,” I thought.

I was sick, and felt like I was going to throw up, though I’d only had a few sips of a beer. Suddenly, I needed to talk to Nolan more than anything in the entire world. I left Sarah standing in the parking lot and stormed back into the Wheelhouse and found Sean still sitting at the bar. He was working on his second beer now. I looked around a bit for Nolan but didn’t see her, instead Trig was just playing pool with a few other guys. Urgency must have been oozing from my pores, because Sean caught on quickly.

“She’s dancing with one of those dudes,” he said, tilting his head to the dance floor. Some local in a cowboy hat was spinning her around the floor, and she was laughing. Where moments ago I was conflicted between loving the sight of her smile and resenting her for it, now I only appreciated it more than the air I was breathing. She looked happy—simply, deliriously and absolutely happy. I had missed those carefree eyes, and when I thought about the tears that fell from them on the day you’re supposed to be thankful, I felt like the biggest * ever.

I leaned into the bar for the entire song, just watching her, soaking her in. She was suddenly flawless. I could look at her without seeing Gavin, and my gut sank thinking of how much suffering she had endured. I was lost in her when I started a little as someone pushed me off balance from the bar, falling to one knee just to catch myself.

“Hey, bro,” Jason said, reaching his hand out to catch a hold of me. I grabbed it, and stared him down as I got back to my feet, and brushed off the dirt from my jeans.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, completely uninterested in his lame-ass attempt at bonding.

“Hmmm. Nice, little brother,” he said, taking a drink from his beer bottle and setting it back down on the bar. I hated that he called me little brother. He’d always done it. Just another part of his faulty personality and constant need to make sure I knew I was less than he was. Truth was, though, I was ten times the athlete Jason was, and the attention I was getting was killing him.

“Dylan wanted to come check this place out. She likes karaoke,” he made a sour face as he spoke. I think Jason liked the idea of being with someone like Dylan more than he actually liked her. Even more, though, I think he liked the fact that our mother praised him for picking such a lovely girl. My mom’s need to marry one of us off to the Nichols family was, apparently, relentless.

I saw Dylan walk out of the hallway by the pool tables with another blonde and in a flash my stomach turned. Shit! It was the girl I walked home that night with Trig! The one who stripped for me and I’d left half naked in her living room!

I wanted to sprint from the building immediately, but my muscles were rendered utterly useless after the rush of adrenaline passed through my legs upon realizing my newest nightmare was walking up to me, wrapped in a scantly dressed bow. Dylan was reaching up to kiss Jason on the neck, while straightening the strap on one of her shoes when she looked me in the eyes to introduce me to her friend. “Fuck!” I thought; I didn’t know what to do.

The girl locked eyes with me right away, recognition washing over her. “Reed!” she squealed. Uhg, suddenly that near-mistake seems like a cliff-edge I had almost dove from. She reached up, and kissed my cheek as if we were familiar. Though, I suppose sadly, in some ways we were.

“Uh…yeah, hi,” I smiled softly, trying to find a balance between retreat and polite. Sean was sliding away from me now, to go join Trig, escaping my personal hell and sensing that things were about to go very far south.