Futures and Frosting (Chocolate Lovers #2)(51)

Spur of the moment. Isn’t that the way you were supposed to do these f*cking things anyway?

I swallow the knot that forms in my throat, suddenly nervous that the moment is here. The one I have been planning for and rehearsing – it's here and it's right f*cking now.

I tear my gaze away from Claire for a moment and glance around me. Porn, dildos of all shapes, sizes and colors, and a shelf full of anal lube.

Jesus, does that say cinnamon-flavored anal lube? I don’t even want to think about a situation that requires flavored anal lube. I must be insane that I am actually contemplating this right now.

I stand there with my hands sweating, heart pounding, and a bottle of Lickity Stiff Arousing Cream clutched to my chest.

Fuck it.

I take a deep breath, my decision made. With determination, I walk over to where Claire is still chatting with Jenny. She turns to face me just as I reach her and takes the bottle I'm holding out of my hand to read its contents.

“Lickity Stiff Arousing Cream? I’m pretty sure you don’t need this,” Claire says with a laugh.

She turns around to place it back on a shelf, and I take a deep breath for good measure, reach into my pocket, and wrap my fingers around the velvet box that I still carry around with me just in case. With Claire’s back to me, I pull out the box and start to kneel.

“Holy shit!”

The exclamation interrupts my descent to the floor, and I pause with both of my knees slightly bent, looking like I'm getting ready to take off sprinting in a race. Claire turns around just as a hand clamps around my bicep and dragged me backwards.

“Liz, what are you doing?” Claire asks.

“Just need to talk to Carter for a second. Need a guy’s opinion about porn, no worries!”

I stumble and shove the ring box back in my pocket as I try to turn around and keep up with Liz. Despite my protests, she continues to hold onto my arm and walk faster.

“Liz! What the f*ck?! I was kind of in the middle of something,” I complain as we get further away from Claire who stares at us with confusion on her face.

“Oh I know what the f*ck you were in the middle of, dumbass!” Liz whispers loudly.

She finally stops when we are on the opposite side of the store from Claire and turns to face me.

“You’re proposing to Claire?” she asks with her hands on her hips and a mixture of awe and anger on her face

“Well, I was trying to until I was rudely interrupted,” I tell her, putting my hands on my hips and staring her down. She is small and feisty, but I have cocks on my side. Hundreds of them I can fling at her and then flee in the other direction when she attacks.

“You’re proposing to Claire.”

This time it's a statement rather than a question.

“Um, I think we already covered this. Let me guess, you think it’s too soon. Or you’re afraid I’m going to hurt her. Go ahead, give it to me. Wait, shit! Did she say something to you about not wanting to marry me? Fuck! She’s been acting weird since your wedding, and I know she’s talked a good game about not wanting to get married, but I figured it was just talk. What girl doesn’t want to get married? Oh f*ck, Claire is the type of girl who doesn’t want to get married. Oh my God she doesn’t want to marry me,” I ramble as I pace back and forth in front of a display of chocolate body paint.

“Oh for f*ck’s sake, calm down, Nancy. I swear the two of you are the stupidest people I have ever met. You live together and you never talk. How is that f*cking possible?” Liz asks in irritation.

“What are you talking about?”

Liz sighs. “YOU. ARE. STUPID,” Liz repeats, enunciating each word and making up random hand gestures to go with each one so it looked like she was using sign language. Except I’m pretty sure the sign for “stupid” isn’t a middle finger.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this because Claire is my best friend and this seriously violates the best friend code of honor between girls, but we have a situation on our hands. I am willing to take a kick to the vagina for you when she finds out about this so you better clean out your ears and listen the f*ck up!” she says with a poke to my chest with her finger. “Claire has been freaking out lately that you don’t want to marry her because she has this idea in her head that you’re a typical guy and the idea of marriage makes you want to puke, which could explain the purging she did in the landscaping out front. She doesn’t have a porn fetish. She just didn’t want you to know that ever since my wedding she’s done nothing but think about marrying you, and she’s scared to death it’s going scare you away.”

I stare at her with my mouth open, not sure which fact makes me more sad: Claire thinking I wouldn’t want to marry her or Claire not really being addicted to porn. That is a problem I'm sure we can overcome together and without the tears or vomiting...unless that was the type of porn she was into, but I’m pretty sure we can get through that together as well. Maybe. But I guess that’s a non-issue now.

“Okay, then why the f*ck did you stop me? I was seconds away from easing all of her fears,” I complain.

“Um, take a minute and look around, Romeo. Do you really want to propose to Claire in front of a display of cock rings?”

I glance around me and really take in my surroundings and think about what I'm doing.