From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10)(78)

“Then that’s your answer.”

A grin lit his face. “Do you have any idea how many people I’m going to piss off?”

“That brings us to step number two in becoming a real live boy, Jared. You can’t allow that to sway you. This is your decision. It’s your life. You can’t live it for other people.”

He nodded. “You’re really happier here?”

“Oh, yes. I can breathe here and it’s not about a place. The location means nothing. I found the right people. I found people I care about who accept me for who I am. It made me accept me. That’s the hardest part. It’s too easy to find fault in ourselves. I’m still scared. I’m scared of what’s happening between me and Kai to tell you the truth.” He was oddly easy to talk to. Once a woman got past how beautiful Jared was, he was a great guy, willing to listen, willing to talk about something other than himself. “I think if I get in too deep with him, I’ll lose myself all over again.”

“Or you’ll find something even better.”

“There’s that fine line I’m trying to walk. I do get that. I’m trying to be reasonable. Hell, it might not even be as serious as I think it is.”

Jared shook his head. “Nope. It’s serious. He’s in love with you. It’s a perverted freaky love, but it’s love.”

She couldn’t help but think about what Kai would do with that gift he’d given her. “I like perverted, freaky love.”

“Good because I think you’re the woman he needs,” Jared said, but his smile faded. “The problem is Kai doesn’t always know what he needs.”

“What do you mean?” She wasn’t going to discount his opinion. Jared had grown up with Kai. Jared had lived with Kai when his core was being formed. He understood things no one else could, had seen pieces of Kai no one else had.

Jared sighed and was silent for a moment, as though thinking through what he was going to say. Or deciding if he was going to say it at all.

“Hey, just put it out there. Like you said before, we’re practically family.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Jared admitted. “I like you a lot, Kori. I think you could be so good for him, but Kai puts a lot of things before his relationships. He also isn’t very quick to forgive.”

“Jared, you slept with his fiancée.”

He held a hand up. “I’m not only talking about me. You tend to get one shot with Kai. He can be huggy with all the people in the world who don’t really touch him. He can hold them at a distance and be tolerant, but with the people he’s closest to, he can get pretty judgmental. I worry he’s gotten worse over the years. The Kai I used to know would already have a ring on your finger.”

Her stomach turned at the thought, but not for the reason she would have guessed. “How long was it before he asked his fiancée?”

“He’d known her a month and then he wanted to actually get married before he went into the service, but she held out. She said she wanted a big wedding. I overheard. He argued that he simply wanted her. Be careful, Kori. One of the few times I tried to talk to him after the incident with Hannah, he promised me he would never get serious with another girl. The good news is he seems to have broken that promise. Now, I’m going to sleep for a while because when I make this announcement, I’m going to piss off everyone in my life with the exception of Squirrel.” He gave her a grim smile. “Hey, I’ve always got Squirrel. But maybe I’ll put off the announcement for a while. After we wrap this film I’ve got a couple of weeks vacation. I’ll go someplace none of the bastards can find me. Then I’ll tell them.”

It sounded like a perfect plan to Kori. He stood up and Kori remembered why she’d run out here. “Hey, I was wondering if I could bring a friend along tonight.”

He stopped, his jaw forming a hard line. “Sarah?”

That wasn’t a good look. “Yes.”

He paused for a moment before answering. “I would rather you didn’t. I like her.”

“That would seem to be a reason to invite her along.”

“I like her. She’s a lovely woman and I could spend time with her, but I couldn’t bring her into my world.”

She had no idea what was going on in his head. “I don’t know that she wants to go into your world. I think she wants to spend time with you.”

“Yeah, well, I can find a lot of women who want to spend time with me. Do you know the funny thing? Most of them don’t bother to call after they’ve gotten what they want. Even the ones who seem so nice and sweet, they run once they get a taste of what it’s like to be close to me. Over the last couple of years I’ve found some women I thought I could get close to, really talk to. Once I left town, they never called.”

“Did you call them?”

His head shook briefly. “I try to leave it in their hands. I don’t want to pressure anyone. Sarah is different. She’s vibrant and cool and fun, and if she was my girl I would have one of two choices. I could hide her away or I could let the vultures have her.”

God, he really was Kai’s brother. “Sarah is a strong woman.”

“They break down everyone.” Jared lifted up his bag, a hollow look on his face. “I can’t do that to her. She’s stunning. She’s so f*cking beautiful I can barely look at her, and they’ll make her feel like she’s nothing. How can I do that to a woman I like?”