From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10)(75)

Had Hannah been the one to introduce him? Wouldn’t that be a kick in the groin? “Thanks for telling me the truth.”

“I think he’s lying because he wants to get close to you and this was a good way to ensure your attention,” Case said. “Look, man, you’ve never been the little brother. I’ve been both. I know what it means to have to look out for your younger brother, even when he was only a few minutes younger than me. Theo was…reckless. I always knew that. In some ways the fact that he was always so reckless made me more careful.”

Kai knew this story. He’d lived it. It had to have been worse for Case since Theo had been his twin. Was his twin. “You had to be his more reasonable half. I was basically Jared’s father figure, so I understand. It doesn’t make it easier to swallow that he’s lying to me again. He made me spend hours going over contracts and talking about different forms of play when he likely knew everything I was saying.”

“Ah, but that’s where I do understand him. Look, maybe I was the oldest growing up, but it’s different now,” Case explained. “I was the leader when Theo and I were young. I was the one who decided to go into the Navy. Theo followed me. I was the one who decided we would join the CIA team. And then I met Big Tag.”

The Taggart brothers hadn’t grown up together. They shared a father, one who had walked out on Ian and Sean when they were young. Papa Taggart had found a new family, fathered Case and Theo, and moved on from them as well. Tennessee Smith had been the one to connect the dots. The brothers had finally met, but it hadn’t been an easy family reunion. “You didn’t like him at first.”

“No. He was a challenge to everything I knew about myself. If it had been up to me, I would have walked away and never looked back. When Ten got burned, I would have stayed with the Agency and I probably would be an operative by now. I would have no family. No future. Nothing but the work. Theo wouldn’t leave. Theo wanted to know Ian and Sean. He was the leader in that. Now there are times I would do anything to get their attention. Ian and Sean’s, that is. I’m not a kid so I don’t act out, but I’ll show up on their doorsteps with the thinnest reasons possible. They never turn me away. Jared thought you would turn him away. I would bet anything he enjoyed going over things he already knew because he would do almost anything to get to spend time with you.”

Case was right. He likely would have turned his brother away. “Jared and I have history you’ve never had with your brothers. It’s not the same.”

Case’s jaw tightened. “No two relationships are ever the same, but you’re brothers. No matter what he did, no matter what you did, you’re never going to get another one. Do you have any idea what I would do to get another chance? To go back and do it again? To get another shot at watching my brother’s back? Anything, man. I know it’s not the same, but it is. Think about it, Kai. That’s all we’re asking. And thank you for everything you’re doing.”

“I’m doing it so maybe you do get that shot.”

“I don’t know if he’s out there or not. I think Ian might be optimistic.”

“He has his reasons and he won’t be satisfied until he’s made every attempt to find Theo.”

Case slumped down. “I had to tell our mother he died. I had to tell her I didn’t protect my brother.”

Kai’s chest tightened. He didn’t know what he believed about the afterlife, but he wondered sometimes. Was his mother angry with him? She hadn’t asked him to look after his brother, but only if Jared didn’t piss him off. She hadn’t put a clause in her dying wish that released him from the obligation in the case of fiancée stealing.

Had he taken the first chance he had to distance himself? To be free?

Had he really been that selfish?

“You were not responsible for what happened to Theo any more than Erin was. It was an operation that went very wrong.”

Case’s eyes were so weary when he looked up. “I can say that as many times as I like, but my gut will never believe it. I can smile and say the right things and I can pretend like I’m moving forward with my life, but there’s a part of me that died when he did. I felt it. I f*cking felt him die.”

Sometimes twins had amazing connections. “Do you feel like he’s alive?”

Case shook his head. “All my life I’ve had this connection to my brother. Not some psychic shit. It’s like a low hum. White noise, maybe. It’s something that’s always there. Now it’s gone and I don’t know what to do about it. There’s this place that’s totally empty. And I can tell myself that I’ll find a way to fill it. I can put my heart and soul into helping Erin raise Theo’s kid. But at the end of the day, I think that place will always be there, a hole inside me. If Ian’s right and Theo’s alive, something’s gone horribly wrong with him because I can’t feel him anymore.” Case took a deep breath and shook his head as though trying to shake off his emotion. “Let me show you how this works.”

He reached down and picked up the small laptop bag he’d shown up with.

“Case, if you need to talk, I’ll move my morning sessions to this afternoon.”

Case shook his head. “I talk too f*cking much these days and I’ve got lunch with Mia. Hell, maybe I’ll manage to get her phone this afternoon and you won’t have to.”