From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10)(39)

“Now we’re getting some truth.” He kept up his punishing pace. “She didn’t take her time trying to find a way out of what she didn’t want to say.”

“Why would she lie?” Jared asked.

“That’s a good question.” The blows continued, making her ache as Kai spoke. “I suspect she didn’t want anyone here to know that she’s a naughty masochist who can’t get off without a little bite of pain. Or a big one. She hasn’t accepted her nature. Or she has and expects that no one else will.”

“I accepted my nature a long time ago,” she managed to say.

The caning stopped and suddenly Kai’s boots were in view again. He dropped to one knee, that hard hand in her hair again. “Then tell me why.”

She couldn’t tell him. It was too much. “I’m yellow now, Kai. Don’t make me safe word out over an explanation I’m not ready to give.”

“Fine.” His hand moved from her hair down, skimming over her skin until his fingertips found her breast. Kai Ferguson was touching her breast. God, he was cupping her and she couldn’t breathe. “How about I put a scenario forth and you think about it for a few days. I think the reason you didn’t mention your utterly beautiful and sexy inclinations is me. You didn’t want me to know because you were perfectly aware that I’m the only one here who can possibly give you what you need. You knew that once I found out, I wouldn’t be able to help myself because you’re the only one who can do the same for me, baby. Do you know how f*cking good I feel right now? How good this makes me feel?”

He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and twisted with a vicious bite that left her panting.

She squeezed her eyes closed because she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t see how beautiful he was. “It won’t work, Kai.”

Another nasty twist got her squirming. “It’s working right f*cking now. Darling girl, your ass is up in the air and that means I can see how wet your * is. Tell me some other Dom here got you wet and ready.”

“You know I can’t.” She tugged at her restraints, but they didn’t move. The rope rubbed across her skin, keeping her here with him. She couldn’t run, and she had to admit she didn’t want to. She wanted this moment with him. Her pride might make her get up and stride away but every other part of her begged for what she’d denied herself for so long. He was the only man here who could give her what she needed. It wasn’t about who hit the hardest. Any of those other Doms could have adequately provided her with pain. She needed more. She needed connection, the ebb and flow of pain and pleasure coming from a man who was there with her.

Her dark shadow lover. Kai.

“I’m not the exhibitionist you are,” Kai admitted. “And that’s the only reason I’m not f*cking you right now, but we’re going to have a long discussion in the morning about the way this needs to go. For tonight, I’m going to start the process that will allow you to remain friends with all those people you lied to. So you are going to give me everything I want. You’re going to cry for me. You’re going to let go and show them that you’ll cry for me.”

She shook her head. “You’re asking too much.”

“It’s cry or come, baby. One or the other, unless you want to find yourself in Big Tag’s office. Let me show him I can handle you.”

“I can’t. I haven’t done either in a very long time.” She hadn’t cried since leaving LA. She couldn’t. Wouldn’t. She hadn’t come either. Not a man-given orgasm. Her mind worked overtime. He wasn’t joking about getting called into Big Tag’s office. Whatever punishment Kai could come up with—nothing would touch Big Tag’s disapproval. They were all mad at her. It was enough to make her want to run away again.

Except it wasn’t that they wanted to see her humiliated. This punishment wasn’t about hurting her. It was about this group of people knowing that someone among them could take care of her. When she looked at it like that, it didn’t seem like punishment at all. It was about the Dominants giving a shit.

Morgan hadn’t cared when she’d lied to him. All he’d wanted was the next bit of work from her. After a while, he hadn’t cared about her finding subspace or her pent-up sexuality. He’d doled out the pain like it was bait for his trap. He would give her enough to ensure she stayed around and did what he needed her to do.

This wasn’t the same thing at all.

“I don’t want to cry in front of anyone, Kai.”

“Then let me show them you can let go in another way.” His deep voice was a wave of seduction, wrapping her up as securely as the bindings on her limbs.

If she gave them a little, they might forgive her. It didn’t mean she was giving up everything. It didn’t mean things between her and Kai needed to change. Tomorrow, they could go right back to the way it always was. Maybe this was a good thing. She could be more honest with her play partners. She could get an edge of what she needed from them.

Because she couldn’t do this again with Kai. Kai was too dangerous.

“Yes. But this doesn’t mean anything.” She couldn’t let it mean something.

“Like I said before. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” Kai loved to talk.

She was sure he would sit her down and they would go over their feelings and come to the logical and compassionate conclusion that they would remain friends. Everything would be civil. It always was with Kai.