From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10)(42)

Kai turned and rolled his eyes. Jared’s version of covered didn’t match with his. “Shirt? Did you even bring one with you?”

“Do you shake your fist at kids who walk on your lawn?” Jared sighed and pulled out his T-shirt, dragging it over his head. “There. I’ll bring a turtleneck tomorrow. And Jared Johns sounded more professional than Jared Ferguson.”

“It makes you sound like a porn star.” He was not a grumpy old man. He wouldn’t let his brother turn him into one.

Jared nodded, completely missing the point. “I know, right? It’s cool. And you were definitely trying to distance yourself from me when you were talking to Brad. You didn’t want him to know you’re my brother. It didn’t work because I already told them all.”

Kai leaned back against the locker because it looked like this was going to take a few minutes. “I wasn’t trying to distance. Not the way you think.”

“All right, what were you doing?”

“I was trying to get away from that * as soon as possible. He’s obnoxious and shallow and I’m worried because every single person you spend time with seems fairly despicable as a human being.”

“I will admit that entertainment types don’t rank high on the lovely human being list. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve found some great people, but they don’t tend to be the type of person who’s willing to spend all their time following an actor around.” Jared ran a hand over his close-cropped hair. “Look, I had a great publicist at one point. She was a wonderful woman, but I need someone who can travel, and oddly enough, she loved her husband and two kids. Same thing with my first agent. Great guy. He retired so he could play golf and get out of the war, as he would say. He’d taken enough bullets. I loved them. They took care of me after…well, they were there for me when I needed them.”

“Why hire the *s you’ve got now?”

“Because it was hard to lose them. Because at the end of the day, I needed more than Janice could give me and firing her was a horrible moment in my life. If I fire Tad, it won’t hurt. If Brad suddenly disappears, I’ll find another trainer and move on. I often think about firing Lena because she annoys the shit out of me on a daily basis. Which is exactly the reason I keep her around.”

Was his brother actually trying to stay grounded? Jared wouldn’t believe the fawning praise of people he didn’t like. He wouldn’t be able to get lost in his own fame if he was always questioning the people around him. Of course he also couldn’t be comfortable, couldn’t truly enjoy all that his success had brought him.

Maybe Jared’s life wasn’t as fulfilling as it seemed. Of course he always had his abs. “I can understand that. You move around a lot, don’t you?”

Jared sat down on the bench in front of the lockers. “I spend a good deal of time in Vancouver, where we shoot the show. I love it up there. The cast is fun. The crew is like a family. I like the house I bought.”

But there was hesitation in his voice. “And that’s wrong, why?”

“Because shows end and I’m being pressured to take this next big step and move fully into movies.”

“I thought the show was doing well.” It seemed completely crazy to him that whole populations of human beings wanted to spend their time watching his brother throw darts at people while finding the thinnest reasons for shedding his shirt, but Dart was a popular show.

“It’s good, but my seven-year contract is up in two years and my agent is already talking about leaving the show so I can get more film work. Even if the network reups the show, they can’t force me to sign a contract. It might be the right time for me to get out of the TV business.”

“Do you like the TV business?”

His brother’s lips turned up. “Yeah. They let me direct a couple of episodes last year. I loved being behind the camera. I mean yes, it’s fourteen-hour days, but at least it’s in the same place. When I make a movie I live out of a suitcase. I’m not home for more than a few days before I start it all over again. Between filming, training, promoting, I spend very little time in any one place. What I like about TV is we all stay together for years at a time. It feels more stable.”

Which his brother would need given their chaotic childhood. Jared had gone to four elementary schools alone. Their mother moved whenever the going got tough. She was a wonderful mom, but she was always looking for the greener pasture. “Then don’t leave. It’s a simple issue. You don’t want to leave, you stay.”

Jared nodded. “Of course. Well, that’s that.”

He started to turn away, but couldn’t help but think about all the times Jared had come to him when they were kids, asking for his advice because he didn’t know what to do. Jared often worried about what the people around him thought. He listened to too many voices when he was a kid. Kai blamed it on his popularity when they were younger. Now he understood that Jared needed to please the people around him. It was part of him.

“You also pick people you don’t like so they don’t have as much influence on you. You don’t necessarily listen to people you don’t like.”

Jared stood, straightening out his clothes. “I suppose you would call it a coping mechanism.”

“Yes, but it’s not one that’s going to make you happy.” From a therapist’s perspective, he knew no one really changed who they were at the core of their being. The choices a person made, those could be changed. Thoughtful decisions could change a path. Jared was trying. “Is this a decision you’re making between what you think is best for your career and what you truly want on a personal level?”