Forever for a Year(92)

*

Alexander Taylor yelled out, “You sure you want to fight?”

Trevor didn’t say anything.

Alexander yelled again, “Too scared to say anything, freshman?” His swim team friends laughed.

Trevor still didn’t say anything.

Alexander then said, “You don’t want to fight. This is a waste of my time. We’re leaving.” Then Alexander turned back toward the trucks.

Only Trevor finally said something, even though he hadn’t looked up. He didn’t say it. It was like he bellowed it. Just so, so loud you could feel the words hit your chest. Trevor bellowed, “I’M THE ONE STANDING HERE IN THE CENTER, AND YOU’RE THE ONE STANDING BY YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS!”

*

Oh. Myyyyyyyy. Gosssssshhhhhhh. Trevor was so cool. That was the coolest thing anyone has ever said ever. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. People were laughing at Alexander. Even some of his team. Oh my gosh. Trevor was so amazing. How did he even think to say that? How could he say something so perfect and so cool at the exact right moment? Oh my gosh. This was like a movie. But … wait … if this were a movie, would the audience be rooting for me or against me? I mean, they would definitely be rooting for Trevor, but gosh, was I the bad girl the audience hated for cheating? Oh my gosh, I wasn’t. I kissed another boy because my dad was having sex with Trevor’s mom and Trevor didn’t tell me and I was scared and I made a huge mistake.… Oh, I wanted to be the one they root for too. I did. So I yelled, “I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!” So loud. As loud as Trevor yelled. My gosh. I just had to. And I was crying. I couldn’t even tell if they were happy tears or sad tears. I don’t know. I just loved him so much I had to yell and cry and guess what? GUESS WHAT? He turned. Everyone turned toward me. But most important by a trillion, Trevor turned. And he looked at me. And he smiled. Not a big smile. I don’t even think he moved his lips. But his eyes. I could see the smile in his eyes. Because we’re soul mates, and soul mates can see those things.

Then Trevor turned back toward Alexander, looking right at him. And Trevor’s eyes were so intense again. Like terrifying. Like he was insane. But I knew he wasn’t. Maybe he was. But I loved him anyway. Maybe I loved him because I was insane too.

The crowd chanted, “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT,” again and Alexander Taylor finally took a few steps toward Trevor, though you could tell he didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t either. There was something in Trevor’s eyes that would make the strongest person in the universe scared to fight him, I think.

Alexander yelled, “You’re dead, freshman!” But it was kind of lame-sounding and then he ran at Trevor and Trevor ran at him, but Trevor crouched low at the last second and, like a football player making a tackle, lowered his shoulder into Alexander’s stomach, wrapped his arms under Alexander’s butt, and then Trevor screamed, “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” like a wild animal, except animals couldn’t make that noise, and then Trevor lifted up for a second and slammed Alexander down into the parking lot cement. Alexander’s head whiplashed against the ground and he cried out. Like really cried out. Like a little boy.

Alexander held up his hands, saying, “Wait, wait, I hit my head … wait…”

Trevor screamed another “AAAAAAAHHHHH,” and then he turned and walked away.

Alexander managed to stand, wobbly, but still trying to be tough. He yelled, “I didn’t say we were finished, freshman!”

Trevor turned fast, like super fast, like Superman fast, and started charging right at Alexander, only Alexander ran away, ran to his swim team and hid behind them. And everyone laughed. Even all his swim team. And Trevor stopped, turned, found me, and walked right toward me.

Oh my gosh. It was like a movie star was walking toward me. And those eyes. It was so sexy. I was so excited. You know, excited down there. That had never happened when I had my clothes on. Oh my gosh, this is love. I didn’t say anything; he didn’t say anything. He just grabbed my hand and he started walking across the parking lot, and I went with him, obviously, and I didn’t turn around and he didn’t turn around and we just kept walking and then there was this path and we walked down it and suddenly we were alone. And I tried to look at him and say something, but I was too nervous. I didn’t want to say anything wrong. I know I said Trevor and I should share everything. But that was before, when he was so far away. But now I had him again. He was so close. I couldn’t say or tell him anything that might ruin anything. This was the greatest moment of my life, I just knew it was.

And then, when were in the middle of some trees, Trevor let go of my hand and collapsed to the ground, right in some mud, and he started hyperventilating and his eyes filled with tears. And my superhero movie star became this shaking mess and I got so confused so fast and, oh, why can’t life be a movie where the hero girl never makes horrible mistakes and the hero boy never hyperventilates in the mud?

He said, his chest heaving up and down, “I f*cking hate you, Carolina.”

And I almost cried and yelled at him, I don’t even know what I would yell, but instead I sat on the ground next to him and started kissing him. All over his face. His eyes and his tears and ears. I said, “I’m so, so, so sorry, Trevor.”

“Why…?” he said, but I knew what he was asking.

“I was mad at you for not telling me about my dad and your mom, I think.”