Forever for a Year(23)

Anyway, after practice, Kendra and I were in the back seat and Peggy was in the front with her mom when Kendra answered a phone call from her mom.

Mrs. Darry just exploded. Like almost for real, I think: “NO CELL PHONE CALLS WHILE DRIVING! IT’S THE LAW!”

“Gotta go, Mom,” Kendra said, then hung up. She looked at me, wanting me to tell her that she’d done nothing wrong. Which she hadn’t. But I couldn’t open my mouth or Peggy’s mom might have murdered me. Obviously it’s only illegal for the driver to make cell phone calls while driving. But Mrs. Darry just likes to yell at people, so she will make up reasons to get mad. For a couple seconds, I did feel sorry for Katherine. I mean, if I had a mom like Mrs. Darry, wouldn’t I be crazy too? Probably. You know, it’s actually amazing Peggy is normal like me. Then I stopped feeling sorry for Katherine because she ruined my life. Then I remembered I wasn’t going to say things were ruined, so I thought about what color Gatorade I would have when I got home.

After we dropped off Kendra at her house, Mrs. Darry said, “Must be nice to be rich. I’d probably think I could answer phone calls in other people’s cars too.”

Neither Peggy nor I said anything. We both knew to stay out of her mom’s way when she got like this. If we were in Kendra’s mom’s car or my mom’s, Peggy and I would text about the party, but neither of us would touch our phones in front of Mrs. Darry. Oh my gosh, no.

*

Mr. and Mrs. Darry were going to leave for their timeshare condo in Wisconsin right after soccer practice, so after I got home, I took a quick shower, packed a bag, waited for Peggy to text me that her parents had left, and rode my bike over to her house.

“Carrie,” Katherine said as I walked in, “in high school, only tools ride their bikes.”

What could I say to that? I mean, nothing. Right? I just went upstairs to Peggy’s room, but when I got there it wasn’t just Peggy. Shannon Shunton, Emma Goldberg, and Wanda Chan were there. Wait a minute! They didn’t belong here! I mean, yes, we were becoming friends, and trying to be popular, okay, but Peggy’s room was like my second room and now there were these OTHER GIRLS in it! My heart just froze in my chest, and I searched for Peggy, who was bouncing on her bed in a dress that made her boobs look like cartoons, and she was giggling even though no one was saying anything. She just looked so happy to have new, cool friends, which made me so sad.

Shannon and Wanda were in their underwear—not even wearing bras!—holding up dresses to their bodies. They both were so skinny and perfect. I mean, you could see their ribs and the bones in their shoulders like models. Gosh. I would never have a body like that. Never. Why would any boy like me if there were girls like that? Emma was smoking a cigarette by the window and even though she was blowing the smoke out the window, I wanted to puke.

“What up,” Shannon said, and Wanda and Emma both said, “Hey,” and then Shannon grabbed one of the dresses that was splayed on Peggy’s bed and held it up to me. “You’d look awesome in this.” She pressed it into my hands until I grabbed it. It had black-and-white stripes, and it was one thousand percent shorter and tighter than anything I had ever worn. No way would I wear it in public. No way, no way, no way. All their eyes turned to me, and I guess that meant they were waiting for me to try the dress on, but I’m like, I’m not getting undressed in front of these popular girls with their model bodies. Peggy had seen me naked a million times, but she was like a sister, and … oh my gosh, they kept looking at me. I wouldn’t even be able to escape to the bathroom, and I didn’t know how to talk to them or to Peggy in front of them, so I just turned a bit to the side so I wouldn’t have to look them in the eyes, and I quickly, like so quickly, took off my shorts and sweatshirt and put on the dress.

“Yeah, that looks f*cking awesome,” Shannon said.

“You look amazing,” Peggy said.

“Yeah,” Emma said between puffs.

“Like, really, I expected it to look like a nightmare, but yeah, you look hot,” Wanda said.

So I was terrified they were tricking me or maybe just trying to be nice, but when I finally looked in the mirror, it was, I don’t know … good. Yeah. My gosh. I looked, I don’t know, cute. Even … sexy? Maybe. I don’t know. But I didn’t look silly, which I was sure I would. You know, I have these huge calves and muscular arms and no boobs, so I didn’t look like a model or Shannon Shunton, but I looked better than I thought I could look. I looked like an athlete. You know, like a soccer player, but one of the not-so-ugly ones. And everyone always says how pretty they are on TV, so maybe I could be a pretty athlete. Maybe? I don’t know. My brain couldn’t stop spinning, couldn’t make sense of what I looked like in the mirror with what I always thought I would look like in a tight dress.

“Now put these on and walk around,” Shannon said, throwing a pair of high heels at my feet. This sounded like a simple thing until I put on the shoes and I could barely move in the dress and I was sure I would fall over after one step. But I tried anyway, and I didn’t fall, but Emma giggled, and you know who laughed even louder? Peggy. This made me want to cry, but I think I had cried enough already this week to last for the rest of my life, so I didn’t cry even a little. I just felt stupid, so stupid, until Shannon said, “You have to place one foot directly in front of the other, swivel the hips. It feels demented, I know, but it works. And keep your shoulders back; it will make you look like you have boobs,” and I hated her for saying I had no boobs—only I should be able to say that!—but I did what she said anyway, and then Shannon said, “Yeah, that’s great. You got it. You’re a rock star.”