Finding Kyle(69)

My body reacts so quickly that I’m not even sure what I’m really doing. Before I know it, I’ve snatched Jane to me and I’m wrapping my arms tightly around her as relief courses through me. Relief that she doesn’t despise me for my transgressions.

“Kyle,” Jane says softly, and I pull my face back so I can look at her. “I’ve talked to Joe a lot since that night you left. He told me stuff about your undercover operation. Why you volunteered, the risks you took, and how your life was in danger every single day.”

I shrug because none of that will ever assuage the guilt I have for the things I did.

“He told me about Maggie,” Jane says softly, and the air in my lungs freezes. “You saved her.”

I bow my head and close my eyes, thankful for that one bright shining spot in everything. I had indeed saved her. After over three years of doing despicable things to maintain my cover, I risked it all to get one single female out of the clutches of that club, knowing it could mean my death.

“You saved her,” Jane repeats.

“Saving one doesn’t absolve—”

“You saved hundreds,” Jane interrupts me. “Hundreds of women from being sold into slavery. Hundreds of men, women, and children who won’t die by illegal guns. Hundreds of lives saved by taking a drug supply line out of commission. You did one of the bravest acts you could for your fellow citizens. Laid your own life on the line. Gave up all your dreams to make better lives for others. I don’t believe there’s a tit-for-tat type of system out there. No, ‘I did this one bad thing so I need to at least save this many lives.’ It doesn’t work like that.”

“Then how does it work?” I ask, my voice clogging with emotion.

“It works when you realize that once you forgive yourself, you can start to move on with the rest of your life,” she whispers before stepping into me and laying her cheek on my chest. I know she can hear the thundering of my heart, yet I can’t will it to calm down.

“You always find the good in people,” I murmur as I wrap my arms around her, lifting her from the floor.

“I’m glad you came after me,” she says quietly. “I missed you so much.”

“I’m not even sure I deserve you,” I mutter, more to myself as I’m still a little confused that she’s accepting me back, which makes me ask as I loosen my hold so I can look at her. “Why? Why are you standing here letting me hold you?”

She doesn’t answer, just turns the tables quickly on me. “Why did you come track me down?”

The answer is absolutely crystal clear. “Because I love you.”

“Yes,” she agrees softly with a smile. “Because I love you.”

My fucking heart swells and expands, ripples with warmth, and I feel unbelievably light in my soul. Joy radiates through me, and it feels like a rebirth.

I feel new.

I feel immensely grateful for every possibility before me right now.

“I’m going to do this right,” I promise her as I let her slide down until her feet touch the floor.

“How so?” she murmurs.

I hook her by the back of the neck with my hand and give a slight squeeze of possession. “I am going to make you feel like the most precious thing in the world every day for the rest of your life, because what you’re giving me is beyond precious. You’ve given me another chance, and I’m never going to forget the value of that. Every day, I’m going to earn your love. Every fucking day for the rest of my life, I’m going to give you the very best I have to offer this world. It will all be for you.”

Jane lets out a quavering breath. “God, that was poetic, and I’m completely turned on.”

“I’m serious, Jane,” I say, giving her another squeeze. I know what I just said to her was really intense, but fuck… my feelings are really intense, and I need to get them out there. I also know she’s trying to make light of it so I don’t feel awkward, but fuck the awkward.

“Jane,” I say as I lower my face toward hers. “Tell me you get everything I just said to you and you know it’s from the bottom of my heart.”

Her eyes get shiny. I feel like shit because I didn’t want to make her cry, but then she smiles at me so brightly that I’m almost blinded. “I’m never going to forget a single word of what you just said because it was the most beautiful thing in the world.”

My lips find her in a searching kiss, both of us seeking to validate our words and our emotions now with touch and physical intimacy. My body comes alive at what this means as I kiss her more deeply.

Jane’s hands slide up my chest, and she gives a slight push that breaks our kiss. She gives a quick lick to her lower lip, which is sexy as hell, before she asks, “Are you going to move here to Boston?”

“I’ll move anywhere in the world you want to,” I assure her. “I quit the ATF, so I’m extremely mobile.”

“What about Misty Harbor?” she asks tentatively.

“They still need a light keeper?” I ask with a grin.

“Quite possibly,” she says with a laugh.

“Then Misty Harbor it is,” I tell her, the decision absolutely made.

But first…

I sweep Jane up into my arms and turn toward the hallway that I’m assuming leads to a bed. We have other things to do right now.